bike on fire

Arriving home after being away a couple of months, (at work, not in the nick) drop the bags, say hello to the wife & then straight to the bike, normal innit?
I did all the usual things to get it ready for the road and then pressed the start button, a few coughs & farts but no real action, out come the plugs again for another clean, they seemed okay, so start again, nothing!
Did a few more checks, tried some easystart, but still no joy. Tried some carb cleaner, still no joy. By this time i'm getting annoyed, off with the air filter to check the carbs, don't know exactly what i'm looking for but it seemed like a good idea. They look clear & clean, a few more turns and still no joy.
It has always been an excellent starter so i'm really confused.
I then try squirting easystart straight into the carbs, the engine didn't start but the carbs burst into flames, nasty big ones!
Panic sets in and i don't know whether to fight the fire or run for cover, after a couple of seconds i threw a cloth over the carbs and luckily the fire was extinguished, but by this stage i'm really upset and ready to explode.
Then, i realised i hadn't turned on the petrol tap..................

Laughing in a nice way, its often the most simple things that are overlooked. I had a Norton Dominator with open carbs and no battery. In the battery holder I kept a couple of rags (like you do) anyway the bike kept cutting out, eventually realised that the rags were getting sucked into the carbs! When the engine was turned off the rags returned to their usual place. Hey Ho!