man goes to doctors - Page 3

18-08-2005, 11:31 AM

I bought my wife a wooden leg for christmas!
It's not her main present, just a stocking filler......

18-08-2005, 11:33 AM

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to
Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on
telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

19-08-2005, 07:50 AM

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?',
I said (butchly) 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.
' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.'
He said 'Camper?
' I said (campily) 'Make your mind up.'

19-08-2005, 10:07 AM

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter.

19-08-2005, 10:35 AM

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull
a fast one".

19-08-2005, 10:36 AM

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?".
He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

19-08-2005, 10:37 AM

So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said
"Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".

19-08-2005, 10:39 AM

I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a
red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I
asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

19-08-2005, 10:41 AM

Guy walks in to the shrinks office wearing nothing but a pair of shorts mad out on cling film!
The shrink said ' Well! I can clearly see your nuts!' :lol:

19-08-2005, 11:44 AM

I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two
school bags, he's bisatchel.

19-08-2005, 01:30 PM

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up,
I said "Did you get my drift?".

19-08-2005, 03:47 PM

A Foxes glacier mint is sat in a bar having a quite drink with a wurthurs original. The door bursts open and in walk two tunes. The glacier mint says to the wurthers original,"Dont look round, there could be trouble, those two are menthol"

I thank you....

22-08-2005, 08:27 AM

a piece of red ashpalt about six feet wide goes in to a bar and asks for a pint.

One of the other customers also drinking at this fine establishment advises the barman "dont serve him, he's a cyclepath"

22-08-2005, 11:02 AM

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry it!!!!!!

29-08-2005, 10:13 PM

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!"

19-08-2005, 10:35 AM	#35
Emily Guest Posts: n/a	And there's more! I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

19-08-2005, 10:36 AM	#36
Emily Guest Posts: n/a	....and more..... So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

19-08-2005, 10:37 AM	#37
Emily Guest Posts: n/a	...and more.... So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".

19-08-2005, 10:39 AM	#38
Emily Guest Posts: n/a	...one last one! I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

19-08-2005, 01:30 PM	#41
Emily Guest Posts: n/a	Go on then, just one more......... The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

18-08-2005, 11:31 AM	#31
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	I bought my wife a wooden leg for christmas! It's not her main present, just a stocking filler......

18-08-2005, 11:33 AM	#32
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

19-08-2005, 07:50 AM	#33
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said (butchly) 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent. ' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper? ' I said (campily) 'Make your mind up.'

19-08-2005, 10:07 AM	#34
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

19-08-2005, 10:41 AM	#39
lord vader Guest Posts: n/a	Guy walks in to the shrinks office wearing nothing but a pair of shorts mad out on cling film! The shrink said ' Well! I can clearly see your nuts!' :lol:

19-08-2005, 11:44 AM	#40
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.

19-08-2005, 03:47 PM	#42
CraigMac Guest Posts: n/a	A very odd boozer.... A Foxes glacier mint is sat in a bar having a quite drink with a wurthurs original. The door bursts open and in walk two tunes. The glacier mint says to the wurthers original,"Dont look round, there could be trouble, those two are menthol" I thank you....

22-08-2005, 08:27 AM	#43
dean Guest Posts: n/a	a piece of red ashpalt about six feet wide goes in to a bar and asks for a pint. One of the other customers also drinking at this fine establishment advises the barman "dont serve him, he's a cyclepath"

22-08-2005, 11:02 AM	#44
steviej Guest Posts: n/a	Fox Hunting...................... How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!!!!!!

29-08-2005, 10:13 PM	#45
Didge Guest Posts: n/a	Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!"