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Old 22-12-2018, 04:39 AM   #1
utopia
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I still have both my front teeth



My trusty old shoei saved the day.
It was lucky that I was wearing it though .. I wasn't on the bike at the time.

You see, there is this dark, narrow path along the side of my house, from the shed in the back garden to the side gate.
On one side is the house wall which is covered in thick ivy and on the other side is a tall fence with a dense rambler rose scrambling along the top and arching over, with a hedge behind the fence and a dark field beyond.
Its basically a dark tunnel down to the gate.
I have a stack of lengths of handy timber half way along and a short plank had either been blown by the wind or toppled by a cat or fox .. either way it was the perfect rigid trip wire, anchored firmly enough at both ends across the path and about ten inches off the ground.
I was on my way out to the shops after dark. I had switched the Dommie's ignition and headlight on, but it was pointing down the garden the other way.
One moment I was walking toward the gate to open it, the next nanosecond I hit the ground, moustache-area first.
I didn't even have time to move my arms.
After the hammer blow, the metallic taste of blood immediately accompanied the numbness of my upper lip, as my mind was still registering events.
I gingerly probed around with my tounge for the large chunks of broken teeth that I fully expected to find.
Phew.
Double lucky then.
1) wearing helmet.
2) no teeth to spit out .. they're not even wobbly.
Born lucky, me.

The thing is, I had run out of essentials like bread, milk, butter, tea and so I decided that, rather than inspect the damage straight away (which I didn't particularly fancy overmuch anyway), I would continue to the shops and look later, hoping that I didn't look too gruesome to the checkout person.
If anyone remembers Plug from The Bash Street Kids, that's exactly how I felt, but I scared no children in the aisles at Aldi, so that was ok.
I still haven't looked at my top lip, but its all still there at least, despite a severe teeth interface (scuse the pun).

Anyway, its now six or seven hours later, the swelling is subsiding and I can at last drink tea in reasonable comfort and smoke a cig in the corner of my mouth.
The helmet is totally unscathed. Not even a scratch.
And I appear to have no impact reactions anywhere at all, other than the moustache area, which it seems took the full force of the impact.

On the downside, I've just seen the funny side of still being able to say "happy solstice" in all its toothy glory, but grinning at the alternative has split my lip open again.

Happy Tholthtithe, everyone.
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Old 22-12-2018, 09:16 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear of your fall, glad that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Gravity eh, even works in the dark.
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Old 22-12-2018, 11:33 AM   #3
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Jeff! You silly old sod!

Glad you survived this one, but these incidents have been known to be embarrassingly fatal.

I too have long walk in the dark, up to my outer workshop and have had a few "incidents".
I have put some of these along the way now.. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NEW-22-LE...nOAL:rk:3:pf:0 They help a lot and work straight out of the box... Just hang 'em up.

We have a large pond in the middle of the garden. I made a short metal railing fence round it, to keep my toddler daughter out many years ago.. It's about shin height. (You're ahead of me aren't you?)
So on a cold, black night, with cat ice on the pond, I'm carrying two glass washing machine windows up to the shed, when I realise that I can't see a thing and I could be getting near the pond.
So I take out my primitive phone and fumble for the "light" facility (read glow).. Eventually I find it, but dazzle myself in the process.
I thrust the glow out at arms length and stride out, but I immediately kick the fence... Next thing is a crunch and crash, I'm head first in the pond up to my armpits, with my feet hooked on the fence. I somehow managed to reverse out of the ice and broken glass.
My only injury apart from skinned shins, was a small cut on my nose from ice or glass?

Just to prove how easily it can turn fatal.. My wife and girls all laughed when I presented, dripping and very cross! (They all lived!)

Anyway I managed to find my phone and workshop keys, and most of the broken glass too. Happily I also acquired a couple more washing machine windows. (They make great novelty shed windows, with iris shutters. )
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Old 22-12-2018, 02:28 PM   #4
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You're a right pair of olde duffers, blimey what are you going to be like when you reach my age

Thankfully your not complaining...
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Old 22-12-2018, 03:36 PM   #5
Mr Gazza
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzbomb View Post
..blimey what are you going to be like when you reach my age
Very olde, if we make it that far...
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Old 22-12-2018, 08:11 PM   #6
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Very glad to hear you are ok Jeff after your tumble.
May I suggest one of these: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Headlight-R...s=helmet+torch

Probably better than the headlight on an 1100 Evo!
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Old 23-12-2018, 09:47 AM   #7
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Glad to hear you're OK Jeff.

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Old 23-12-2018, 10:20 AM   #8
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Can you still whistle!
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Old 23-12-2018, 11:47 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Gazza View Post
J

I have put some of these along the way now.. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NEW-22-LE...nOAL:rk:3:pf:0
That reminds me, I wonder if Short Circuit is on over Xmas.

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Old 23-12-2018, 01:17 PM   #10
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Quote:
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That reminds me, I wonder if Short Circuit is on over Xmas.

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Glad you're okay Jeff..personally, I probably would have kept it to myself.
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Old 24-12-2018, 02:36 PM   #11
utopia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grumpy View Post
Can you still whistle!
Ah, the penny drops ... as in the song, you mean ?
Not really, but then its not quite Christmas yet.
And like I said, I do still have my two front teeth.

All I want for Chrithmath is a pathive infra-red, tholar-powered thecurity light, it theemth.

Thanks for all the comments, folks.
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Old 24-12-2018, 06:56 PM   #12
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Ouch!

Sounds awful, but you are still smiling, on the mend and still have both teeth.

I hope Santa brings you a torch?
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