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Dear Richard
Its Naomi, this is the only way I can get through to you
The cheese and tomato sandwich I made you has been sat on the counter for days, and Sam has been staying at Mrs Bouet's house since last Wednesday
I appreciate your efforts to solve the cracked downstairs toilet seat with a carbon fibre replacement have proved moderately fruitful in reducing the overall centre of gravity, however it is not exactly a fulfilment of your parental responsibilities, nor will this rash on my bottom go away.
Estimated time to re-appearance ?
Love from the fam
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