Didge

JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fack-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!"

MUMBLER An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED) Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10 Pinter.

NELSON MANDELA Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE The need to defecate imminently.

PEARL HARBOUR Cold (weather). An example of it would be "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.

PICASSO ARSE A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

RAGMAN'S COAT Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat !"

RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".

SALAD DODGER An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB

SPERM WAIL or SPUPHEMISM A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT A homosexual.

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL or BITCH PI SS Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch.

TITANIC A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER A lesbian.

TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

UP ON BLOCKS Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks"

VAGINA DECLINER A homosexual.

WALLACE AND GROMIT Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

WA NK SEANCE During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

WYNONA RYDER Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".

X-PILES Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

YOUNG GUN Knobby troll.