Mr cadbury

[jerry]

Mr. Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street and had a drink in Mars Bar. He asked her name.
'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa. 'I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts' he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Curly Wurlies and she rubbed his Maltesers.
Soon they were Heart Throbs. It was a Fab moment as she
screamed in Turkish Delight. But 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts!

[Dirty]

A Jelly Bean walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do you fancy going to that new club in town?" and the Jelly Bean says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in."
So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." So Jelly Bean says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me." and off they went.
After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under a table, the Lockets take one look at Jelly Bean and start kicking him, punching him and generally having a laugh.
After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?"
"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are menthol!"