Same Cr4p Different Year

[gremlin]

This year has started well, I was ill on New Years so spent night at home watching Hootenanny, the car windscreen developed a foot long crack, one of my black Diablo chooks has died, a copper blue maran is on her last legs and I spent last night till 3am in emergency with Clive due to possible potassium poisoning, apparantly his body is retaining too much of it leaving him feeling pretty rough and has to undergo further tests to ascertain why and hopefully sort it. I must have been Ghengis Khan in a past life!:banghead: I guess the only way is up.

[BluprintZ]

I agree Sarah, life seems to get scarier the older you get, it seems.

The youngest daughter (23) developed agraphobia / panic attacks la few years ago, which has caused quite a few problems, culminating in her losing her job last summer, she lives next door to me, so at least i can be there for her but it's hard work, for both of us.

After i got back from the TT last June, i developed a bowel infection and the double dose of anti-biotics seems to have made things worse, so six months on, i have to go into hospital tomorrow to have a Sigmoidoscopy (camera up the bum), which i'm sure will be a fun experience.

The new Mac Pro, which i bought in November for nearly three grand, including audio/video peripherals, is acting up, stopping me from doing some important work on two lots of footage for clients, which is more than embarassing.

Plus four funerals over the last eight months, it never rains it pours!!
Sometimes i wish i was seventeen again, life seemed much easier then.

Onward and upward i suppose.

G ; ) :dizzy:

[gremlin]

I relate to the funerals I had 10 in 18 months my dad and stepdad within 3 monnths, you begin to wonder who will be next! Good luck tomorrow I can't think the experience will be pleasant unless you are into that sort of thing.
I feel for your daughter, panic attacks are hideous and I know how hard it is to cope with agorophobia, my friend Su has it and can't leave to boundaries of her home. It's frustrating for those on the outside, you plan stuff to try to get the person to come out of their shell and they go along with it till the last minute and then shoot back into their shell and you feel awful for putting pressure on to try to get them out. I hope she does get over it once it gets a real hold it's very hard to break through. Take care

[BluprintZ]

That's exactly what the daughter used to do when it first started Sarah.
She would buy a new dress off e-bay to go to a gig or whateveer, then at the last minute her bottle would go
Quite frustrating all around really and it's difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel for her.
She has been offered various options, counciling, etc but as she has trouble travelling, it's difficult to get her to go.
Cheers for the support.

G ; ) x

[gremlin]

Su hasn't left her house for a year. She used to work with me at John Innes which screwed most people up in the end, but she was very good at her job and although she had alot of time off she sort of coped. I guess it became a sort of safe place so she could go from work to home but that was it. Unfortunately she got made redundant and since then she's been totally home bound. I tried to get her to go to my mums to do gardening but she bottled it and so mum got someone else. She was really keen as I'd said I'd help her and I hoped it may become another safe place as she would would be among friendly people but I failed. People who don't understand can be harsh sometimes and your daughter is lucky to have you close by. It must put a tremendous strain on you. Hypnosis can sometimes work but like all things it is also a bit hit and miss. I hope you can find a solution and in the not too distant future because once it really takes hold it is a real struggle. It sort of becomes a habit too and the more you do to help her not go out the more ways she will find to stay put so in some ways you have to be a bit cruel to be kind and push her to find places where she can go and feel safe and then get her a bit further afield. But then you have the guilt trip if she has a panic attack. It really is a cruel thing.

[utopia]

You both have my sympathies.
And yep, it does seem to get scarier as time goes by.
You both sound like people who have a good attitude to life though.
Sh*t happens, but the good stuff is always waiting just around the corner.
Hang tough. And never forget that even the quarter full cup is a million times better than no cup at all.

I spent two weeks this summer, driving for a couple of mates on tour from Nashville. Every night Will Kimbrough sang these words and I cried every time....

"Every step's a miracle, and every breath's a gift.
And so I'll wear a smile, and grateful prayer upon my lips.
If tomorrow's a mystery, then I beleve I'll take
a couple hundred miracles today."

...actually, it still makes me cry.

Just wanted to say something.....this was the best I could think of.
J.

[gremlin]

Thank you that was really kind. I can see your point about the lyrics, it's funny how some just get to you. Friends have often said that if it wasn't for all the bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. I don't know why I get walloped so regularly, Hellcat is the same bless her, neither of us are nasty people, we do our best to help others, we try not to cause others distress, we're not saints by any means but both of us wonder what is going on sometimes and we see so many others in the same boat. You see people who are downright nasty and they sail through life with no problems and others get bashed about when they are generally good people. I know that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger but it would be good to have a break at some stage. For me it's been a good 20 years of aggro one way or another, so if the idea of Karma is correct I must have been a right bast4rd in my last life!

[BluprintZ]

Cheers Jeff, nice words mate.

I know that most people have horrendous amounts of stress for what seems to be a large part of their lives, whilst others seem to go through life with a season ticket and very little problems at all.
I myself have had three heart operations since being four years old, although with each op, i've tended to look upon them as "minor" blips on the journey, as some do when you've had to live with the condition all your life, other than that, i've not done too bad health-wise, compared to others i suppose, it certainly hasn't stopped me from enjoying bikes for over forty years.

The only real problem with the daughters condition, is that it can sometimes interfere with my studio business, it's certainly got worse over the last year or so, in that i've had to re-schedule clent studio time occasionaly, to work around the odd situation that may arise because of it.
I did manage to get her to go to Tesco with me last week but she couldn't manage to go into the store at the last minute, so i had to do her shopping as well while she stayed in the car and by the time i got back, she was in a bit of a state which just made me a bit frustrated and a touch unsympathetic with her on the way home, which didn't help matters really.
It can be quite easy for us to be a bit sharp at times, in my case the Tesco run was compounded with a client due in a few hours later, plus my own present health situation, which made me a bit short fused, her problem, on top of my own has made this week or so a touch more stressful than normal but we battle through it i suppose.

Cheers,

G ; )

[gremlin]

I wouldn't be too hard on her not going into Tescos, I get to screaming point every time I have to go in. I nearly left a trolley full of stuff the other day! I very rarely go to supermarkets, I go to the local market on a friday and stuff I can't get there I get from local Co Op it's far less stressful. Part of it is I don't like the crowded aisles and I hate Tescos for how they treat farmers so it's a bit of a principle thing too. Our local Waitrose is far nicer, less manic and I don't get panicky there. I meet mum and friends and we have coffee and it makes shopping far nicer. I've become friends with the market traders so we have a bit of banter so thats pleasurable too. The veg stall people and I swap chickens and eggs too and it's all more sociable. Maybe if there is a similar set up nearby it may be kinder to your daughter? There is something about the large supermarkets which really freaks me out, I don't know if it's the lighting or aisle width or amount of people but I really struggle with them and I'm pretty much ok these days, I've been through the panic attack thing and it's horrible and I've found I can cope with shopping the way I do it now. But if I try a big store I still find my heart rate goes up and if I can't nip in and out quickly I do start to feel edgy and desperate to get out. I've also found my shopping bill is about quarter what it used to be and vegs last about three times as long so there's less wastage although the chooks have any veg anyway so it's not a total loss. Or a right off the wall idea if you have space buy some chooks for her, if she has something she has to look after it may help. I've found mine have helped, there are days when I really struggle to get out of bed mainly due to the pain etc but having the chooks forces me to do so because they rely on me. Being outside it will get her out into the garden and she'd have to go out to buy food for them. I used to go hungry rather than go out to the shops when I fell apart but animals have to have food and they can't go out and get it themselves so it forces you out. And she'd have the reward of eggs for her efforts.

[BluprintZ]

We went though the Chickens (40), Goats (4), nine cats and two dogs jobbie when we first moved to Anglesey in 1988.
Unfortunately, Mr Fox and his family ate better than us over the first couple of winters.

I kinow what you mean Sarah, she needs a distraction of some kind, although most of those have been confined to decorating her cottage, which she seems to have a flair for.
The garden and the area we live in, isn't really suitable for that situation, we live on the mainland in a small village very close to the sea.

She has friends who do take her to more sedate supermarkets, Morrisons, Lidl, etc.
I agree, Tesco sends me around the bend most times, so i can relate to her stress in that way, it's enough to make anyone suffer a panic attack.
She has a dog and two cats, although if she does run out of food for the dog, she nips around and nicks some of mine.

I'm sure we'll find a solution eventually, in the meantime i'll just have to go with the flow.

G ; )

[He11cat]

I hope you all have better years.. you all deserve a good run..
I hope you get well soon Blu.. and that your daughter will eventually be better again that must be so hard.
Gremlin I have something for you.. I hope you like it ..its stupid really..

Me not a saint??? :( .. no I think I either partied hard in my last life or I was Vlad the impailers stick sharpener.What ever I did it must have been very bad indeed .....