UKMOC Does Italy Update

[LouSCannon]

Everyone in one piece so far, despite having to get me up at 5:30 local time today for our trip to Ducati.

The show was something else, the Dievel does look better in real life, but still not winning over most of the group.

Plenty of pictures taken, including lots of the new UKMOC trip mascot with the lovely ladies of the show... Pictures to follow on our return.

Visiting Ducati today, then down to NCR where Stafford and I intend to go scrumping in their parts bin. Then tonight the 100bhp DOC guys are laying on a party for us... Don't think we'll be waking up at 5:30am tomorrow!

Other memorable quotes so far include:

Stafford picked up a small Chinese man in the toilets

Gordon was going to waft a cheesy one under Stuarts nose.

A conversation that started with Segways and ended with mains powered rabbit vibrators

Max on the subject of Goldwings - I'd have more power tobweight ratio on a bicycle


So far about par for a UKMOC trip away.....!

[buzzbomb]

Don't forget the poor old OAP that you left behind when you visit NCR...:(:grump:

Have a great time guy's...:biggrin::biggrin:

[samieb]

Don't forget the poor old OAP that you left behind when you visit NCR...:(:grump:
:

He's often missed, but he's never forgotten... :biggrin:

Have fun in Milan..

[seby]

guys
remember
dont drunk limoncello :D

[J.P]

Jim, I'm so glad you've taken up the mantle of the 'JP notepad taker'. Chortle, chortle, chortle.

[He11cat]

Have a great time :)
please unplug your mains powered rabbits before jumping on you segways...
The male mind is a strange thing!!!!
Sounds like an awesome trip!

[LouSCannon]

JP - Yup, taking notes, said seeing you weren't here someone had too!

[samieb]

guys
remember
dont drunk limoncello :D

They'll be drinking it as if its water.... After the MOB weekender they needed rehab for rebilatation purposes. Its the only reason they went to Milan is because of the Lemoncello withdrawal syndrome. They needed their Lemon fix...

:biggrin: :) :eyepopping:

[Liz]

Oh no .. is this like me ... the joys of working in Edumacation...???
fixed bloody holidays! :( grrrrr...

Oh yes, the joys! :grump:

Where can I buy some Limoncello? If you can't join them, beat them!! ;)

[He11cat]

Hi Liz I use this company when I want something different!

http://www.thedrinkshop.com/products/productlist.php?text=limoncello

If you like Vodka great selection on here :) Really great selection of spirits on here and always had good service from them. (Apart from they have no Vodka 666 left grrrrr)

[LouSCannon]

Our club is sadly lacking:

1. A clubhouse
2. An official club band
3. An official club racing team

The 100bhp boys we should definitly get to know more!

[slob]

I bet it's not free to join then...

[Pomp1]

Everything is going better than planned for me, worst than planned for my bank account..

[J.P]

I wouldn't want to downgrade my bike to 100 bhp to get in their club...

[Albie]

I wouldn't want to downgrade my bike to 100 bhp to get in their club...

If you give me 5hp of yours I can.:biggrin::biggrin: Else I have to buy the evo :eyepopping::grump:

[ANDRI-973]

100hp will be the minimum to be admitted... :flag:

You (guys and girls) lost a lot of good things, I hope to meet you next year..

Have fun!! :ukm:

[Albie]

100hp will be the minimum to be admitted... :flag:

You (guys and girls) lost a lot of good things, I hope to meet you next year..

Have fun!! :ukm:

I best get mine blueprinted then or buy my s4 back.:biggrin:

[ANDRI-973]

100hp will be the minimum to be admitted... :flag:

I was joking, I don't know why they called "100hp", I'll ask.. :)

[Albie]

I was joking, I don't know why they called "100hp", I'll ask.. :)

I still need more horses though. For the hell of it:)

[chris yeatman]

or buy my s4 back.:biggrin:

give him a good offer he mite!!!!!

[MrsC_772]

Got back home just after 10 last night. Awesome trip! :woot:

It feels like we've been away weeks, we packed so much in to the last couple of days. I now need to catch up on some sleep!

Grazie mille to Pomp1 for organisation, translation and navigation (normally I find driving in convoy hard work but he made it very easy for me to follow him in the "tourbus"). Thanks also to Slob for sorting out tickets; to Alex@ferro for great hospitality on Wednesday night, and to the nice folks at NCR for putting up with us drooling over their shiny toys on Wednesday :); and to my passengers for putting up with my driving without screaming/nagging/too much ****-taking given my woeful attempts at parallel parking.

The EICMA show was immense. Obviously the Diavel :freak: got a lot of attention, but there was a lot more to catch the eye e.g. a black and red 796 like rjbex's with a lot of rather nice carbon; the rather lovely new Aprilia Tuono; MV Agusta F3; Zard cans for the 696. :) Lots of interest even if it wasn't all to my taste: the Brammo electric bike (about the only alternatively powered one not to look like a feeble moped :pd::pd:, though it wasn't pretty and its range is still woefully short); the Honda Crosstourer 2-wheeled chelsea tractor, using the VFR 1200 engine, which was clearly aiming at a slice of the BMW R1200GS market but which was much better looking than either the BMW or the existing 1200 VFR (not hard I know); a worrying trend towards scooters-on-steroids (both Honda and BMW had one); the new 6 cylinder BMW (very Goldwing); half a Kawasaki ZX10R (no fairings, top half of engine, tank or seat) which made me think someone could produce a rather tasty streetfighter based on the ZX10R (leave all the nasty green plastic off!)

At EICMA I finally realised why there are few bikes suitable for shorties like me - if the only women most bike manufacturers see are the leggy models draped over bikes at motorshows, they forget that most of us aren't built like that! (The manufacturers also failed to realise that it doesn't matter how leggy the model, or how tight her outfit, if she's sitting on yet another budget brand Chinese scooter, it won't make the bike desirable!)

After enormous pizzas all round on Tuesday night, we had a hideously early start on Wednesday to head to Bologna. Bad things about Italian motorways: the lane discipline (or lack thereof) :eek:; very short slip roads and the road tolls (many thanks to Stafford for leaping out and feeding coins and notes into the machines at every toll plaza as my little arms were too short to reach - the sliding van doors on the Doblo came in quite handy!) Good things about Italian motorways - the universally excellent coffee at motorway service stations (though it would be even better if it came in bigger cups!)

The Ducati museum focused very much on the motorsport history - the only Monster was in the entrance area. Lots of shiny race bikes (I still think the original 916 is the best looking). We didn't get to do the factory tour after all (though that means I have an excellent excuse to go back to Bologna, possibly riding all the way). Across the road to the factory outlet (or "brewery tap" as Andy called it) to browse the merchandise and wonder how they can get away with charging 6 Euros for a single Ducati branded Christmas tree bauble! After a nice plate of pasta in a local restaurant (and in LouScannon's case a limoncello), off to NCR ...

[MrsC_772]

I suspect I'm not the only one for whom NCR was the highlight of the trip. :biggrin: I'm not the sort of person who normally goes all gooey over con-rods and pistons, but when you get to hold the original, and then the beautifully machined titanium NCR version and realise the weight difference, it all starts to make sense. I've seen a fair few two-wheeled-sculpture-based-on-a-Harley-engine custom bikes at shows (ridiculous raked forks, shiny billet, amazing paint jobs etc), and while I appreciate the craftsmanship that goes into producing something like that, I remain to be convinced they're proper motorbikes. At NCR, however, it's a case of how can we make this race bike lighter and faster and perform better - if the answer is replace everything with titanium or carbon fibre, the fact that you end up with something absolutely stunning to look at is merely a fortuitous side effect. There's the same purity of vision that lay behind the Maclaren F1 car (ultimate performance, cost irrelevant). Even their tub of assorted nuts and bolts is a thing of beauty (mmm, titanium ...)

After a lot of drooling over assorted components, carbon encrusted Bimota based racing bikes, expressions of frustration by the NCR woman about the fact that Canadian superbike regs wouldn't let them use a lovely titanium frame, and the sight of a grown man going weak at the knees over a hose clip ("I just need to find a woman with the right size finger that this will fit ..."), they finally unveiled the M16. :hail:

The photos you may have seen of the M16 e.g. in Motorcycle News really don't do it justice. Start with the most exotic production bike you can buy (the D16 desmosedici), and bin the surplus weight to produce the ultimate haute couture lightweight track bike. A quick flick through the D16 owners manual left lying around on their shelves suggested the standard dry weight is 171kg - the M16 without fuel was 145kg! Before seeing it, I'd wondered how on earth a motorbike could every possibly cost the wrong side of £100k, but it doesn't seem so ridiculous when you've inspected it up close.

The only thing that didn't look quite so perfectly finished were the sharp edges on the flat exhaust in the tail unit ... I've now come to realise that the flat shape and sharp edges are probably deliberate to preserve the bike's virtue, such was the orgy of excitement brought on by this ultimate bit of carbon-bike-porn. (Comments like "I want to lick it", "I could eat my dinner off the underside", "If I had to slice my tongue out on something, this would be it", and the daubing of oil from under it as if aftershave should give you some idea of the collective fever running among UKMOCers by this stage - True Blood fans, think of the frenzy at Maryann's parties and you're starting to come close (ooh er missus)).

There's a form of madness called Jerusalem syndrome (a group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by a visit to the holy city of Jerusalem). I think the Italian bike fan equivalent is San Lazzaro di Savenna syndrome (unusual erotic urges for inanimate objects triggered by exposure to carbon fibre and titanium in the NCR workshop).

[MrsC_772]

After the long slog back up the motorway (Andy's Iphone tom-tom instructions at one point coming out with the utterly depressing "stay on the A1 for 165km" :grump:) we headed out on Wednesday night to meet the locals (the 100hp club, whose favoured meeting point, the Cafe Caribe, had as part of the decor a Bimota race bike). There was live music (a band who sounded a lot better than they looked - if you could imagine the local accountant, dentist, lawyer and headmaster, who had never grown out of wanting to be the Rolling Stones, that gives you a fair idea) :yoparty:; lots of food (pasta, followed by a mountain of excellent ham, salami, chips ... basta!) and a confusing Guinness agitating machine that wasn't a draught dispenser :confused:. Andy and I headed off early (i.e. just after midnight, as I was driving and didn't fancy falling asleep at the wheel) but I gather various Isle of Man related schemes were hatched after we left.

Thursday morning brought a trip to the MV Agusta museum (specially opened for us, hence Pomp1's frustration at the English letting the side down by not being punctual, being more concerned with coffee and pastries at the cafe across the road). What struck me was MV's willingness over the years to experiment with different configurations (1, 2, 3, 4, 6 cylinders; 2-stroke; 4-stroke; weird adjustable rear suspension; a funny-front-end apparently insisted on by John Surtees). And that's before you take into account the fact that they started building planes and not bikes, and the fact that half the museum was about Agusta's helicopters (more titanium, though not quite so aesthetically pleasing as at NCR). The guide left us to play on the helicopter flight simulator upstairs (young Bean despairing at how the so called grown ups were carrying on like 9 year olds). Let's just say it's probably better for all concerned if Pomp1 stays on two wheels rather than taking to the skies ...

After lunch at a cafe in another aviation museum just by Malpensa airport (where to Gordon's delight they served Tennent's lager, although it did rather go to his head ...:dizzy:) and various financial calculations and settling up, it was time for Andy and I to head off to the airport, while the others were off to drool over some Bimotas ...

Pomp1's itinerary for Thursday night and Friday involved "drinking to oblivion", so I suspect tales of limoncello fuelled antics will follow in due course ...no doubt LouScannon will keep the rest of us informed!

Once Andy has sorted through his hundreds of photos, we'll post a few edited highlights.

[J.P]

Fantastic write up.

[samieb]

Back at WDW2010 I had the good fortune to bump into Mr NCR. All I can say is that he was a very friendly and an astute chap.

I agree with J.P. a good write up...

[gary tompkins]

Top hole - looking forward to the photo's :)

[LouSCannon]

Can someone please phone in a bomb threat on my flight?

[J.P]

now that's not very sensible is it Jim....tut, tut, tut.

[samieb]

By the sounds of it, I think Jim wants to stay in Italy.

[uksurfer]

sounds like you all had fun, are you able to abandon Stuart out there or are you bringing him home?

[AndyC_772]

That's "Gollum" from now on... you'll see why ;)

[uksurfer]

oh dear, if you lot have injured my hampster there will be trouble!!! :roger:

[J.P]

Mybe he's met another 6 Foot Nigerian ?

[AndyC_772]

Nope... he was just rather taken with a machined titanium hose clip at NCR :D

http://www.cawte.nildram.co.uk/gollum.jpg

[Liz]

It's ok guys, I've just had a report (and heard his voice), that he is still with the group. But, not wearing the hat and has a cold head! Not sure if he's found someone for 'the precious' though!!

[LouSCannon]

Got back last night and already missing the place and people, despite enjoying a good ol' cup of tea again.

As with any of the UKMOC tours plenty of good memories and very funny moments, particularly around the dinner table Thursday night... although I wouldn't be surprised if there was more last night too!

Plenty of pictures taken by everyone, so a good view will be built up in the near future. Bottom line however is I cannot thank Max, Andreas and Alex enough for helping make this a truly memorable trip.

I still can't quite grasp how many friendly people willing to give their time over to us to make us feel welcome, from Andreas' family plying me with coffee and cake on my first day, to the guys at NCR knowing that none of us could actually afford their stuff, yet willing to spend a whole afternoon showing us round their shop. The same goes for the family run Magni workshop.

[Rally]

All the pictures and reports coming back are leaving many others as well as me regreting not coming on this one. It really did look like a special trip. Well done to Max etc and let's hope it happens again another year................

[LouSCannon]

Just wait till you see the adventures of the rather random mascot.... :)

[chris yeatman]

let's hope it happens again another year................

r be up for that!!!!!

[ANDRI-973]

Last day in Italy for the survivors... Yesterday lunch in Gallarate and then another visit at Eicma for pitbikes, mini cross, supermoto competitions and.. stunt show with Pfiffer and Carmicheal.
Last dinner in Varano Borghi: a lot of food and white wine for all!!!
Today maybe a little tour in Varese..

P.S. Some guys had some photos with....:eek::flag:

[bex]

Sounds like a great trip, also wish I'd been there.

Nice pics so far :)

[gary tompkins]

Just wait till you see the adventures of the rather random mascot.... :)

I'm guessing that is Stuart AKA The Hat

He's usually about as random as it can get :freak:

[ladybird]

blimey, you forget to keep up with the forum for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose ;)

looks like y'all had fun. also looking forward to the photographs.

[ANDRI-973]

WELCOME TO FANTASYLAND!!!! :biggrin:

[Pomp1]

http://picasaweb.google.com/Club100hp/Gemellaggio100hpUKMOC#slideshow/5535790592900349538
A little slideshow from Alex!

[ANDRI-973]

NEWS!! NEWS!! NEWS!!

BRUTALE "EASY" (= MONSTER DARK..)
The entry level naked by MV Agusta.

Single pilot and passenger seat.
4-cylinder engine smaller than 990 cubic
Calipers of the first 910 S
Matte black colour
It will cost about 3000 € less than 990

The launch of the next MV:
* Brutale "Easy" expected in the spring,
* F4 RR for late spring,
* The F3 is expected in late September.

:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

[Stuart42]

Hi all

back safe and sound.

Just like to say a massive thanks to all involved, was a cracker.

Was trying to think of the best bit but it was all so fantastic so can't really. No doubt will bore those I see with silly bits as I see them.

This mornings highlights were remembering being woken by Max's grinning face as he got into bed with me, you had to be there and no doubt Gordons photo will appear at some stage.

Also Gordon walking out of a cafe to see me being told to F*** Off by some local Italian plasterers. Being a Hamilton lad he was ready to dive in and save me, but was just a language lesson. This after me telling them how much I loved Italy, or so I thought, until Jim whispered in my ear that they'd asked if I liked Hitler not Italy, they drop their 'h's and it was early.

Despite that slight diplomatic incident was a great trip and massive thanks to Max and Andrei for taking time and trouble to sort the trip out, gotta be careful otherwise will get accused of arsh kissing again.

As to the silly photos that appear I can explain, well no I can't really.

Ciao everyone

Stuart

[LouSCannon]

This after me telling them how much I loved Italy, or so I thought, until Jim whispered in my ear that they'd asked if I liked Hitler not Italy

I thought the sound of me coughing up a lung when you said yes might have been hint enough! I did get a slight sinking feeling when they started with the Hitler salute.... :)

[AndyC_772]

PMSL :D Muppet... this is why I get so nervous trying to speak foreign languages, so easy to be completely misunderstood...

[Pomp1]

This mornings highlights were remembering being woken by Max's grinning face as he got into bed with me, you had to be there and no doubt Gordons photo will appear at some stage.



Remember, I was only the third one to get in..;)

[Stuart42]

I thought the sound of me coughing up a lung when you said yes might have been hint enough!


Yes but you had said you'd taken too much air so thought it was just that.

[QUOTE=Pomp1;369409]Remember, I was only the third one to get in..;)

Yeah but you were the best

[alex@ferro]

Thanks to all for the evening of wednesday, and for the visit to my workshop... the next year will be even more attractive!

Nice to meet you!!!!!

(Stuart... you are crazy... COOL!)

[Pomp1]

Thanks to all for the evening of wednesday, and for the visit to my workshop... the next year will be even more attractive!

Nice to meet you!!!!!

(Stuart... you are crazy... COOL!)

Thank you Alex. You and you're club have made us feel very welcome! Keep us posted with pictures of your Specials as well, the guys will certainly appreciate!

[Liz]

'Lift music', ie, not listening...................!!

[alex@ferro]

Keep us posted with pictures of your Specials as well, the guys will certainly appreciate!

on what section?

[Gordon H]

Thanks to all for the evening of wednesday, and for the visit to my workshop... the next year will be even more attractive!

Nice to meet you!!!!!

(Stuart... you are crazy... COOL!)

Alex - thoroughly enjoyed the Wednesday night in the club and the visit to your workshop - unfortunately my son has a lot of expensive ideas right now!!

Thanks

Gordon

[Pomp1]

on what section?

Either mods and how to (http://www.ukmonster.co.uk/monster/forumdisplay.php?f=16) or UKMOC bikes (http://www.ukmonster.co.uk/monster/forumdisplay.php?f=100)

[Gordon H]

'Lift music', ie, not listening...................!!

Awww Liz. whassamatter???? (exits stage left - at a rate of knots...)

[Stafford]

Awww Liz. whassamatter???? (exits stage left - at a rate of knots...)

Best not use the bike, faster on foot:eyepopping:

[Gordon H]

Best not use the bike, faster on foot:eyepopping:

Wise words mate :running:

[bex]

(Stuart... you are crazy... COOL!)

You do realise some of us will never hear the end of this now.

[Gordon H]

You do realise some of us will never hear the end of this now.

You implying he lets things like this go to his head?

He hardly ever mentions his bike getting a spot on a US web site....... hardly ever!!

[Liz]

Wise words mate :running:

Run Gordon run.............

You implying he lets things like this go to his head?

He hardly ever mentions his bike getting a spot on a US web site....... hardly ever!!

Will the hat be making an appearance at the Christmas meal? Not sure if it will fit any more (now who's running)! :running:

[Stuart42]

You do realise some of us will never hear the end of this now.

You make it sound like I go on and on and on about my bike being mentioned internationally, just wait til you see what I'm doing now to it, may even get mentioned further afield.

Cheers
The Cool One

[Gordon H]

You make it sound like I go on and on and on about my bike being mentioned internationally, just wait til you see what I'm doing now to it, may even get mentioned further afield.

Cheers
The Cool One

Further afield than international??

Interplanetary??

Interdimensional??

[Grumpy]

Further afield than international??

Interplanetary??

Interdimensional??

He's working with a guy in a white coat called doc who owns a Deloren!!

[uksurfer]

You make it sound like I go on and on and on about my bike being mentioned internationally, just wait til you see what I'm doing now to it, may even get mentioned further afield.

Cheers
The Cool One

outside of andover then?

[chris yeatman]

just wait til you see what I'm doing now to it, may even get mentioned further afield.



i know what he's doing!!!!! :woot: :idea: :banana:

[Gordon H]

i know what he's doing!!!!! :woot: :idea: :banana:

Ah, the benefits of pumkin soup club membership...........

[Stuart42]

Ah, the benefits of pumkin soup club membership...........


Have you been on the 9% again? Now whats it say on the back of this label?

Yep there are people in white coats helping me.

'I really like this jacket, but the sleeves are much too long.' Small prize for whoever guesses were that line came from.

Cheers
Stuart

[Gordon H]

'I really like this jacket, but the sleeves are much too long.' Small prize for whoever guesses were that line came from.

Cheers
Stuart

Back At The Funny Farm - Motorhead :woot:

9% at lunchtime - Just a typical Scot abroad.......

[Pomp1]

? Now whats it say on the back of this label?



PMSL! that was classic!

[Gordon H]

PMSL! that was classic!

Reading glue is a very rare ability!!

[Stuart42]

Well done Gordon, one of my favourite sayings.

Your prize? I'll get you a nice long story book, or as we call it a tube of superglue.

Cheers
Stuart

[bean]

Reading glue is a very rare ability!!


no dad just face it, your a light weight :gay:

cheers for the trip guys and would love to do it again next year since it was such a laugh and tbf i learnt quite alot :)

now just to get a bigger bike!

[LouSCannon]

You found the clitoris yet?

[Pomp1]

You found the clitoris yet?

http://maps.google.co.uk (http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&tab=wl)

[bex]

may even get mentioned further afield.

What, outside Andover? Ooooh like 'up in town'? Also known as 'London'. :D

[bex]

You found the clitoris yet?

Is what you're looking for with your head up that big hole in your avatar photo?

[LouSCannon]

Is what you're looking for with your head up that big hole

Wouldn't be the first time!! *bed dum ching*

[gary tompkins]

I think this is turning into one of 'those' threads

insert :weird: smiley

Wouldn't be the first time!! *bed dum ching*

I think I had some Bed dum Ching in a take away the other night

Sort of noodles with chillies and squishy bits ... possibly squid..?

[bex]

Sorry, lowered the tone, should've stayed in India!!

[uksurfer]

I think this is turning into one of 'those' threads

insert :weird: smiley


not a bad comment from the chap whos avatar has knitting needles stuck up his nose...:eyepopping:

Sorry, lowered the tone, should've stayed in India!!

second that

[bex]

Love you too Del Boy.

[Gordon H]

not a bad comment from the chap whos avatar has knitting needles stuck up his nose...

They're pencils.......

[gary tompkins]

Martin,

Check out

Black Adder Goes Forth - the final episode

[LouSCannon]

....wibble....

[Gordon H]

....wibble....


Wibble indeed......

[Gordon H]

Just wondering if this Italy thread is going to run up to next years event..............

[Pomp1]

Just wondering if this Italy thread is going to run up to next years event..............

Gordon, this is nothing mate. Do you want a random, hijacked thread? I give you one.. (http://www.ukmonster.co.uk/monster/showthread.php?t=35105&highlight=kneedown)

[LouSCannon]

Good times!

[Gordon H]

Gordon, this is nothing mate. Do you want a random, hijacked thread? I give you one.. (http://www.ukmonster.co.uk/monster/showthread.php?t=35105&highlight=kneedown)

'kin 'ell...........

[uksurfer]

'kin 'ell...........

now that was a while ago, what did happen to him..........?
He won me a t-shirt and goodies at last Arrow Mill :biggrin:
But i think it was the other thread.......

[gary tompkins]

Ahh the classic kneeclown rant

bless him :heart:

[LouSCannon]

Yeah that was the carbon for sale thread..... I was particularly proud of my contribution to that one hehehe