This sounds typical of a police response in today's world.

[BluprintZ]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30..

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story)

[paul67]

Lol.... Good reply george

[uksurfer]

good call :chuckle:

[steeevvvooo]

Made me laugh!!

I love stories where old people don't take any sh1t.

[chris yeatman]

mite try that, if the need to that is

[BluprintZ]

Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming

fishing trip.

Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time

because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name

calling, Dave headed home frustrated.

The following day when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up

camp, they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting at the

campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a

camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"

"I didn't have to," Dave replied. "Last night when I left our

meeting, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown

my sorrows. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and

said, Surprise ! "

"When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful

see-through negligee and she said, " Carry me into the bedroom and tie

me to the bed and do whatever you want "...... SO HERE I AM "

[uksurfer]

thats an idea to get me to the next weekender :chuckle:

[BluprintZ]

Did you know a new world record has been set for the HIGH JUMP from a KNEELING position?

The record (1.73 metres) was set yesterday on a beach near Montpellier in Southern France
The photograph below was taken just a split second before the jump, but it gives a clear idea of how this remarkable record was achieved...

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/741/doggyx.jpg


G : ) :biggrin:

[uksurfer]

englishman, scottsman and irish man were escaping from a prison, they managed to get on board a truck which was leaving the compound,
the guards suddenly realising there missing, start searching all the vehicles leaving the yard,
in the back of the truck theres three sacks, so they decide to climb into them to hide.
the guards search the back of the truck and prod the first bag with there gun,
english man starts miaowing like a kitten, guard realises it full of cats,
the guard moves onto the next bag, prods it with his gun,
and the scottsman starts barking like a dog, guard realises its full of dogs
moves onto the third bag and prods it with his gun,
and the irishman shouts 'potatoes'