mazydog
28-03-2009, 10:33 AM
The following account is completely true I have however changed some details to save any embarrassment.
I arrived home from work to find my lad (age 15) sat watching TV, he flashed me a look of pure disgust, “what’s up with you” he pointed towards the kitchen. I opened the door to what looked like a Piñata party, paper and cardboard all over then I saw it nestling in the bubble rap, a 12” cyber skin John Holmes multi function 5 speed deluxe dildo.
O no the lad had come home and found a delivery our Steph had taken in, he was expecting a new can for a bike we were working on, as it turned out he was sat with what he thought was his mothers new best mate, at this point so was I.
Things weren’t that bad were they, ok I wasn’t 21 any more but I could still put a shift in, it was then I caught sight of the delivery note, Thank you God, the sense of relief I felt when I realised it was for Sue a 40 something single lady who lived a couple of doors down was short lived, (my lad tells me the political correct term is M.I.L.F.). The door bell went my lad answered it “dad it’s Sue” s**t think fast what do I say.
The conversation at the door went something like this,
Me “Hi sue how are you”
Sue “great thanks and you”
Me “good very good”
Sue “it’s been cold”
Me “yes fed up with the snow”
Sue “still it’s clearing up now”
Me “yes”
Sue “I have a card through my door says a package for me was dropped off with you”
Me “package”
Sue “yes package today”
Me “Arrrrrrrrr”
Sue “it’s your house number”
Me “yes that’s us”
Sue “so my package”
Me “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm O that package yes”
Sue “can I have it”
Me “Yes our Steph has put it away”
Sue “ok can you get it please”
Me “yes well no, she hides them”
Sue “hides them”
Me “yes the dog has a habit of ripping them” “I will have a look drop it off later”
I closed the door and headed for the living room, I grabbed the lad Homer and Bart Simpson style, “that dildo is Sues you daft little ******** why did you do that” “I thought it was the new can” he protested, to be fair the box was a similar size. “Anyway “he said “I am not as gullible as mum (referring to the latest bike I bought having told the wife that I am just minding for a friend who has no garage) that’s not sues its disgusting wait till I tell our Sophie (his elder sister)”
After I show him the paperwork we set about what can only be described as a mission imposable style repair job, copying and reprinting the invoice and instructions, finding a box and gluing the packaging. 2 hours later we have finished.
I was going to send the lad round but I took it myself (you never know) I hoped she would attack the packaging with the same enthusiasm as my lad did when he thought he had a new Scorpion stubby carbon end can, she looked like a kid who had just been given the keys to the local sweet shop when I dropped it off so with a bit of luck she didn’t notice.
On the up side the local church is now over subscribed with help for the Easter jumble with my lad and his mates.
Apologies for not posting the earlier as valentines and mothers day have both now gone, I can vouch for the excellent quality of the product its certainly comparable with the Scorpion can, on reflection I suspect both Sue and I are equally satisfied when we open the throttle with our respective products.
I arrived home from work to find my lad (age 15) sat watching TV, he flashed me a look of pure disgust, “what’s up with you” he pointed towards the kitchen. I opened the door to what looked like a Piñata party, paper and cardboard all over then I saw it nestling in the bubble rap, a 12” cyber skin John Holmes multi function 5 speed deluxe dildo.
O no the lad had come home and found a delivery our Steph had taken in, he was expecting a new can for a bike we were working on, as it turned out he was sat with what he thought was his mothers new best mate, at this point so was I.
Things weren’t that bad were they, ok I wasn’t 21 any more but I could still put a shift in, it was then I caught sight of the delivery note, Thank you God, the sense of relief I felt when I realised it was for Sue a 40 something single lady who lived a couple of doors down was short lived, (my lad tells me the political correct term is M.I.L.F.). The door bell went my lad answered it “dad it’s Sue” s**t think fast what do I say.
The conversation at the door went something like this,
Me “Hi sue how are you”
Sue “great thanks and you”
Me “good very good”
Sue “it’s been cold”
Me “yes fed up with the snow”
Sue “still it’s clearing up now”
Me “yes”
Sue “I have a card through my door says a package for me was dropped off with you”
Me “package”
Sue “yes package today”
Me “Arrrrrrrrr”
Sue “it’s your house number”
Me “yes that’s us”
Sue “so my package”
Me “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm O that package yes”
Sue “can I have it”
Me “Yes our Steph has put it away”
Sue “ok can you get it please”
Me “yes well no, she hides them”
Sue “hides them”
Me “yes the dog has a habit of ripping them” “I will have a look drop it off later”
I closed the door and headed for the living room, I grabbed the lad Homer and Bart Simpson style, “that dildo is Sues you daft little ******** why did you do that” “I thought it was the new can” he protested, to be fair the box was a similar size. “Anyway “he said “I am not as gullible as mum (referring to the latest bike I bought having told the wife that I am just minding for a friend who has no garage) that’s not sues its disgusting wait till I tell our Sophie (his elder sister)”
After I show him the paperwork we set about what can only be described as a mission imposable style repair job, copying and reprinting the invoice and instructions, finding a box and gluing the packaging. 2 hours later we have finished.
I was going to send the lad round but I took it myself (you never know) I hoped she would attack the packaging with the same enthusiasm as my lad did when he thought he had a new Scorpion stubby carbon end can, she looked like a kid who had just been given the keys to the local sweet shop when I dropped it off so with a bit of luck she didn’t notice.
On the up side the local church is now over subscribed with help for the Easter jumble with my lad and his mates.
Apologies for not posting the earlier as valentines and mothers day have both now gone, I can vouch for the excellent quality of the product its certainly comparable with the Scorpion can, on reflection I suspect both Sue and I are equally satisfied when we open the throttle with our respective products.