gremlin
24-05-2008, 08:06 PM
Back in 1971, Steve and Janice had only been married for two weeks when although 'sort of' in love, Steve couldn't wait to go the Royal Oak with his old mates .
So, he said to Janice, 'Jan love, I'm just going to see a man about a dog.'
'Where are you going, Steve?' asked Janice.
'I'm just going up the rub-a-dub to have a couple of pigs ears.'
Janice said, 'Do you want a beer, Steve?'
Janice opened the door to the fridge and showed Steve an assortment of beer. Guinness, Lager, Bitter, etc.
Steve didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Jan... but at the boozer... you know... they have cold glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Janice interrupted him by saying,
'You want a cold glass, Steve?'
She took a beer glass out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chillblains just holding it.
Steve, looking a bit sheepish, said, 'Yes, I know Jan, but at the pub they have those bags of snacks and cashew nuts and things that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll see you later. OK?'
You want cashew nuts and snacks?' She opened the cupboard and took out 15 different kinds of nuts, cheesy snacks, etc.
'But Janice... at the pub.. you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'
'Oh! you want dirty words and swearing, do you? you c**t!
Sit down! drink your f***ing beer in your p*xy little frozen glass and eat your f***ing snacks! because you are
F**KING MARRIED NOW, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, %!%@!++*?'
........and, they lived happily ever after.
So, he said to Janice, 'Jan love, I'm just going to see a man about a dog.'
'Where are you going, Steve?' asked Janice.
'I'm just going up the rub-a-dub to have a couple of pigs ears.'
Janice said, 'Do you want a beer, Steve?'
Janice opened the door to the fridge and showed Steve an assortment of beer. Guinness, Lager, Bitter, etc.
Steve didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Jan... but at the boozer... you know... they have cold glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Janice interrupted him by saying,
'You want a cold glass, Steve?'
She took a beer glass out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chillblains just holding it.
Steve, looking a bit sheepish, said, 'Yes, I know Jan, but at the pub they have those bags of snacks and cashew nuts and things that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll see you later. OK?'
You want cashew nuts and snacks?' She opened the cupboard and took out 15 different kinds of nuts, cheesy snacks, etc.
'But Janice... at the pub.. you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'
'Oh! you want dirty words and swearing, do you? you c**t!
Sit down! drink your f***ing beer in your p*xy little frozen glass and eat your f***ing snacks! because you are
F**KING MARRIED NOW, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, %!%@!++*?'
........and, they lived happily ever after.