forrest gump

[gremlin]

Forrest Gump was sent on his way to Heaven Upon his arrival, a concerned
St Peter met Forrest at the Pearly Gates "I'm sorry Forrest"
St Peter said; "But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls
and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to
ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals

"That's Cool" said Forrest, What does the Entrance Exam consist of?"

"3 Questions" said St Peter.

"Which are?" asked Forrest.

"The First" said St Peter, " Is, which two days of the week start with
the letters 'T'?

"The second is: How many seconds are there in a year."

"The third is: What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"

"Now" said St Peter, "Go away and think about those questions Forrest,
and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for
me."

So Forrest went away and gave those three questions some considerable
thought. I expect you to do the same.

The following morning, St Peter called upon Forrest and asked if he had
considered the questions, to which Forrest replied, "I have"

"Well then," said St Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the
letter T?"

Forrest said, " Today and Tomorrow".

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the
answer can be applied to the question.

"Well then Forrest, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions?" St Peter went on, " How many seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Just 12!"

"Only 12?" exclaimed St Peter, "How did you arrive at that figure
Forrest?"

"Easy" said Forest "There's the second of January, the second of
February right through to the second of December, giving a total of
twelve seconds."

St Peter looked at Forrest and said, "I need some time to consider your
answer before I can give you a decision" And he walked away shaking his
head.

A short time later St Peter returned to Forrest "I'll allow the answer
to stand Forrest, but you need to get the third and final question
absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven."

"Now Forrest, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in
Waltzing Matilda?"

Forrest replied,"Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to
answer."

"Really!" exclaimed St Peter, "And what is the answer, Forrest?"

"It's Andy."

"It's Andy??"

"Yes, it's Andy" said Forrest

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
longer, and turning to Forrest, asked"Forrest, how in God's name did you
arrive at THAT answer?"

"Easy" said Forrest "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy
boiled "