Useless Biking Accessories?

[desmo]

Whats the most useless biking accessory that you have ever bought or been given?

Mine are.

1. Scottoiler - either didn't work at all or dumped oil all over the rear tyre.

2. Visorcleaner - little bottle of liquid with a sponge on it - smeared like hell.

3. My Mrs had some stick on rabbit ears on her crash helmet (sad or what)

[neilbaldry]

i never had the ears on helmet. but what about all the stickers given away in the mags? i hope no one puts them on their bikes!

[retskcid]

Scottoiler!! :eek: I wouldn't be without one, it keeps the back end free of corrosion!

Here are mine, that I can think of (in order)

1. Oxford digital clock - didn't last six months
2. Glove liners - made no difference
3. Uprated (Ohlins!) shocks - On my 2000 Daytona I couldn't tell the difference! Just bling IMHO!
4. Visor anti-mist products
5. Frank Thomas jackets (mine leaked) - I refuse to buy anything with the name

[jerry]

frank thomas products are crap , over hyped.

[banditloon]

frank thomas products are crap , over hyped.

:thumbsup:

I had a £250 F T gortex jacket back in '97. Bought it, took it back 2 days later as the poppers had come off. shop refused to give me a refund, I set up camp, finally got another jacket (different colour) that lasted 8 months, then the poppers and zip broke. I didn't shop at J&S or buy FT stuff ever again!

Oxford Micro Clock... First sign of rain, it broke!! Stupid poxy thing!

Yamaha Diversion 600.... Ok it's not biking kit, but it was truly awful!!

Muc Off, the stuff eats your bike!

4. Visor anti-mist products

What about the coloured inserts for visors! They are pants too!!

[Didge]

Muc Off, the stuff eats your bike!



You're supposed to rinse it off mate.:biggrin:

[banditloon]

You're supposed to rinse it off mate.:biggrin:

:chuckle:

Not my bike luckily ;) My mates RSV Factory needed new headlights after a spray of muc off ate through the plastic headlight lenses. The joys of always on headlights and the pink stuff.

I think it takes the laquer off of carbon fibre as well!! So the pink stuff will never go anywhere near my bike now. Back to the two bucket rule for cleaning ;)

[bigredduke]

I once bought a helmet with horns attached.

[banditloon]

I once bought a helmet with horns attached.

Were you a Viking?

[bigredduke]

I once bought a helmet with horns attached.

Sorry! You said Biking accessories! (I'm a bit hard of hearing)

[banditloon]

Sorry! You said Biking accessories! (I'm a bit hard of hearing)

:chuckle: :D

[Chaos Inc.]

Flashing wheel valve caps. Aaaaaaarrrrggghhh!

[banditloon]

Flashing wheel valve caps. Aaaaaaarrrrggghhh!

I forgot about them!!! Wow they were great. I watched the front cap fly off my Blandit at 60mph ish. Still flashing away as it disappeared over my head....

Ah, another one.. Motrax allycators... if you don't locktite the small screws in, they last about 5 minutes on a Monster before the vibrations make them fall apart.

[banditloon]

but what about all the stickers given away in the mags? i hope no one puts them on their bikes!

You can tell when a bike has been dropped and the fairing is scuffed though,as there will be an Arai sticker over the scuff ;)

[Didge]

I can't fit any accessories to my Buell. When it's idling, it looks like it's got 6 mirrors on each handle bar, and the indicators flap around so much, I'm sure the bike is on the verge of entering into a hover.
Can you imagine how long a clock or sat-nav would last?:(

[banditloon]

AH HA!!!!!! Another thing I've wasted too much time and money on...

Castrol Chain Wax... It never comes out of the can!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Nonnie]

Um, here goes.....

My Dainese trousers were actually a bit tight when I bought them but you know how it is, Oh, I'll slim in to them, of course I will. Then when I got them home and next tried them out on the bike, I realised I couldn't actually "get my leg over" without feeling that I had cut off the circulation to my legs so I had to leave the button unpopped and make sure I'd zipped it right up good and proper, then of course, I never did lose the weight (oh come on, who the **** does) so eventually I ended up riding around with half of the zip done up on the trousers but then Plan B was to ensure I always wore a long top to cover the "dignity gap" and the trousers did have a privacy panel so I didn't look like I was flashing or nothing but then........I put on some more weight (those damn wardrobe fairies) and it got to the point where the zip got stuck and then broke and I had great difficulty getting them off so I have given up and am saving up for some bigger trousers. Funny how the jacket still fits so I guess it's just my ass that is appreciating in value.......

I was also bought a Fender Extenda which has NEVER been out of the packet.

That's all for now but tell me why my garage is full of stuff nobody has ever used?

[banditloon]

Um, here goes.....

My Dainese trousers were actually a bit tight when I bought them but you know how it is, Oh, I'll slim in to them, of course I will. Then when I got them home and next tried them out on the bike, I realised I couldn't actually "get my leg over" without feeling that I had cut off the circulation to my legs so I had to leave the button unpopped and make sure I'd zipped it right up good and proper, then of course, I never did lose the weight (oh come on, who the **** does) so eventually I ended up riding around with half of the zip done up on the trousers but then Plan B was to ensure I always wore a long top to cover the "dignity gap" and the trousers did have a privacy panel so I didn't look like I was flashing or nothing but then........I put on some more weight (those damn wardrobe fairies) and it got to the point where the zip got stuck and then broke and I had great difficulty getting them off so I have given up and am saving up for some bigger trousers. Funny how the jacket still fits so I guess it's just my ass that is appreciating in value.......

Are you still trapped in them?? :p

I was also bought a Fender Extenda which has NEVER been out of the packet.

They are actually quite useful, especially on old shape SVs, they do keep some of the rain water off of the front cylinder sparkie :) (as long as you make sure the thing is bolted to the mud guard and not stuck on ;) )

[Nonnie]

Are you still trapped in them?? :p

No luckily but I have just remembered the MOST useless accessory EVER.

When I first started biking I didn't know anything at all about my bike and I went out and bought a magnetic tank bag.

I've got a plastic tank! Beat that!

[banditloon]

No luckily but I have just remembered the MOST useless accessory EVER.

When I first started biking I didn't know anything at all about my bike and I went out and bought a magnetic tank bag.

I've got a plastic tank! Beat that!

:chuckle: :chuckle: excellent :D

[Nonnie]

:chuckle: :chuckle: excellent :D

Yeah I'm such a twat.

[Julie]

i never had the ears on helmet. but what about all the stickers given away in the mags? i hope no one puts them on their bikes!

I love stickers! Not on my bike tho - but i put them in my garage ...

if you have got any spare - i'll have em

[retskcid]

Hahaha, I'm there with the leather trousers so tight they're never worn! On the other hand I've had my Furygans for 10 years - elasticated waist! :mand:

Fake stick on carbon fibre - I still have it in the wrapper if anyones interested.

And emergency tyre inflator - does it feck!!

[neilbaldry]

nah ive not got any, i did get some with my PCIII but i just stuck them on my brothers tool chest!

[Blind Alan]

I reckon the ashtray fitted on mine is pretty bloody useless.

[fatbloke]

Whats the most useless biking accessory

Pedro,,,,,

[Nickj]

That's got to go to my rev counter which has been in permanent sleep mode almost since I got the bike.
Got a decorative scott oiler, nice puddle by the rear wheel, still it's waterproofing the mud on the drive nicely.

[desmo]

Ah just thought of another,
One of those small waterproof atlas that go in the see through bit of my tank bag.

It was good a few years ago, but now that I am a middle aged Mr McGoo, I have to stop, take off my gloves & helmet & put my glasses on to read the bloody thing.
Then, once kitted back up again, I forget all the road numbers that I have just looked at!!!

[gremlin]

frank thomas products are crap , over hyped.

apparently there are only 2 man made things visible from space,
1: the great wall of china
2: the returns section of frank thomas
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[bigredduke]

Ah just thought of another,
One of those small waterproof atlas that go in the see through bit of my tank bag.

It was good a few years ago, but now that I am a middle aged Mr McGoo, I have to stop, take off my gloves & helmet & put my glasses on to read the bloody thing.
Then, once kitted back up again, I forget all the road numbers that I have just looked at!!!

Oh the joys of being closer to 50 than 40! I'm shortsighted so I usually wear contact lenses when riding. The problem is that I then need reading glasses to see closer (including maps & text). However, if I'm wearing glasses I have to take them off to read. Either way, I have to stop & bugger about generally! Anybody ever come across a prescription visor?:scratch:

[gremlin]

i believe you can get prescription goggles

[Julie]

i believe you can get prescription goggles


very good for off roading and mtocross.

[YoungDucS4R]

Ah just thought of another,
One of those small waterproof atlas that go in the see through bit of my tank bag.
It was good a few years ago, but now that I am a middle aged Mr McGoo, I have to stop, take off my gloves & helmet & put my glasses on to read the bloody thing.
Then, once kitted back up again, I forget all the road numbers that I have just looked at!!!

And I thought it was only me!!
Big big ditto's on all of the above!!

G

[DavidEJM]

Oh the joys of being closer to 50 than 40! I'm shortsighted so I usually wear contact lenses when riding. The problem is that I then need reading glasses to see closer (including maps & text). However, if I'm wearing glasses I have to take them off to read. Either way, I have to stop & bugger about generally! Anybody ever come across a prescription visor?:scratch:

How about one lens in and one out?:idea:

[neilbaldry]

you know, the british military have prescription respirators, so im surprised someone hasnt invented inserts to put in prescriptions lenses for helmets.................

i mean with the helmets that have the slide down sunvisors, you wouldve thought that it would be possible to adapt it to work with lenses......

[Didge]

Pedro,,,,,

Seconded.......and butt-ugly to boot.

[jerry]

Sexy beautiful pillions..... they ruin the handling on the road.... but improve it in the bedroom.

[Devil Child]

Sexy beautiful pillions..... they ruin the handling on the road.... but improve it in the bedroom.

Actually, we improve grip on the road and helpfully lower the bike a couple of inches so it's easier for the rider to reach the floor http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/images/smilies/innocent.gif

How do you get the bike up to your bedroom?

[cakes]

How do you get the bike up to your bedroom?[/QUOTE]

There's no way I'm shifting that thing up the stairs!!

I guess we better start looking for a bungalow.

[Pedro]

Pedro,,,,,


Mmmm, very funny....

But maybe these will help you get you little leg over the numptystrada...


http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g190/Monsterped/NumptySteps.jpg

[yeharrr]

Federation flags on long telescopic polls to attach to Harleys so the short sighted old duffers can find their bikes in a crowd.

(must confess..i've got a harley, no flag though...spent the money on neons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)