And another one...

[Blah blah]

A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Manchester and sees a card
advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more.

"Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the man behind the desk.

The Job Centre assistant sorts through his files and replies - " Oh
yes here it is. OK the job entails you getting patients ready for the
gynaecologist.

You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash
their nether regions. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their p-b-c
hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination.

There's an annual salary of £85,000 but you're going to have to go to London."

"Oh why, is that where the job's at?"

"No - that's the end of the queue."

[Blah blah]

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said '2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

[Blah blah]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out again and went straight to the mail box. Again she slammed it shut. Angrily she went back into the house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and slammed it closed, harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'

'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'