Cruising The Caribbean On The QE2. (Part 1)

[Didge]

We booked this cruise back in Oct 2006, and because we've sailed with Cunard once before, we got some nice deals on it.
The itinerary was thus:-

April 2007
21st Embark at Southampton.
22nd - 26th Crossing the North Atlantic
27th New York
28th At sea
29th Fort Lauderdale
30th At sea
May
1st St. Thomas
2nd St. Kitts
3rd Grenada
4th Barbados
5th St. Lucia
6th Antigua
7th - 9th Crossing the Atlantic
10th Ponta Delgada (Azores)
11th - 12th Crossing the Atlantic
13th Disembark at Southampton.

Stayed with our friends, Vince and Barbara in Bognor the night before, as we did on the last time.
Barbara was in her last week of pregnancy, so when we got back, there'd be 3 of them to welcome us home.
Vince drove us down to Southampton, and we entered Dock Gate 4. As we drove to towards the embarkation area, the QE2 funnel appeared over the building.
As we got out of the car, our luggage was taken from us, we checked in, and in less than 10 minutes we were onboard the QE2.
The cabins (state rooms in Cunard speak) are numbered thus:- 5XXX for 5th Deck, 4XXX, for 4th deck, 3XXX for 3rd deck, etc etc.
We were booked in Mauretania cabin 5070, an outside cabin. When we were shown to the cabin by the steward, the door was locked. So he took us up to the Pursers office, and that's when we got a nice little surprise. We had been upgraded to Coronia 3172 (outside). Not only was this two decks up, but it was much larger, and had it's own little sitting room with a couch and dressing table.
On entering our new cabin, there to welcome us, were two silver buckets, each containing a bottle of bubbly, and a letter to each of us, welcoming us back on board. How nice was that?
We got everything unpacked and put away, and then proceeded to celebrate by knocking back the said bubbly.
The QE2 pulled away from Southampton dock at 17:00.

Quaffing.....
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[Didge]

The next 5 days were spent crossing the North Atlantic enroute to our first destination New York. I had never been to the USA before, and Jan had only visited New York once before, many years ago. I was really looking forward to it. In the meantime, the days were spent relaxing, and enjoying the on board entertainment.
It was during this time, the first day in fact, that we noticed something. Although many of the passengers were roughly in our age group, the majority of them seemed to be 70 plus. "Oh no", we thought. "The ship's full of geriatrics". There were walking sticks, zimmer frames (with & without wheels), wheelchairs, and even a couple of those electric scooter things that more and more old people use to terrify pedestrians with. Why the hell old people with infirmaties, go on a cruise that consists of anchoring, and then tendering to shore at most of the ports of call, is beyond me. There are so many other cruises, that dock at all ports, which would be much easier for them. We thought, "This is going to be fun". Our fears were well founded.
They took over the bloody lifts most of the time, so on the odd occasion you needed to use one, you usually had to wait ages, and then once you got on, it was stopping at every bloody floor. Whenever a show was on, they'd all get there about an hour early, so they could take the best seats etc etc. This is what I call the 'Queuing outside the Post Office an hour before it opens' syndrome.
On top of all this, there was a rather large contingent of (mostly) loud Yanks on board also. Two of whom, were in the cabin next to us, and they spent most of their time bickering to each other. One night, I thought that a few rather loud and raucous farts might shut them up. It didn't, but we got some strange looks the next day.
If I got bored, I'd pass the time by walking up behind a group of people, stop, and gently squeeze out a few silent guffs. Wait a few seconds for the gas to completly clear the cloth, and then carry on walking until I reached a point where I could observe the results. The look on some peoples faces ranged from disbelief to one of near complete neausea. Laugh? I nearly shat. Not literally, but you know what I mean.
I also did this in the lifts from time to time. Let one go just before I reached the floor I was getting off. I'd have my finger ready on the button, so that as soon as I got off, the doors would close, and the lift would go down / up, complete with it's load of my unloaded gas. I can only imagine the reaction from those who got on it next. Of course, I was taking a big chance in doing this, as there was, on the odd occasion, people waiting to board the lift as I got off. I just made sure I was out and gone before they could properly see who I was, but I reckon a few people must of sussed me out.
Anyway, the food, as always, was bloody excellent, and there was plenty of it. One NEVER goes hungry on a cruise. Our waiters were two Indian blokes, Rajid and Nivans. They were bloody great. Really professional and courteous. Within a few days, they learnt that Jan and I were a little more 'down to earth' than most on board, and they seemed much more relaxed with us than with others, which was nice, but they still remained very professional.
Part 2 to follow.....................