gremlin
25-01-2007, 04:18 PM
Noah 2007
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NOAH IN 2007.....
The Lord came to Noah, who was now living in England and said, “Once again the earth has become wicked and will face punishment, so build an ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the drawings and said the job had to be finished in six months, then it would pour down. Six months later the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no ark! Noah he roared, “Where is the ark?”
“Forgive me Lord, but things have changed….let me explain.” I needed building regs and I have been arguing with the fire brigade about a sprinkler system. Also, my neighbour claims I should have obtained planning permission to use my garden as a temporary building site. He claims the ark would spoil his view. Then the department of transport demanded a costing for moving power lines to clear the passage for the ark’s move to the sea, despite me saying the sea would be coming to us.
Another problem was the Equal Opportunities Commission, who insisted I had to get a good ethnic cross-section of workers and on this score the Trades Unions waded in (if you’ll pardon the pun Lord) and insisted I could only use accredited workers with ark building experience. To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized my assets, claiming I am trying to leave the country with endangered species.
So forgive me Lord, but it really would take ten years to finish at this rate. Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you are not going to destroy the world?”
“No,” said the Lord. “The British Government is beating me to it!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOAH IN 2007.....
The Lord came to Noah, who was now living in England and said, “Once again the earth has become wicked and will face punishment, so build an ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the drawings and said the job had to be finished in six months, then it would pour down. Six months later the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no ark! Noah he roared, “Where is the ark?”
“Forgive me Lord, but things have changed….let me explain.” I needed building regs and I have been arguing with the fire brigade about a sprinkler system. Also, my neighbour claims I should have obtained planning permission to use my garden as a temporary building site. He claims the ark would spoil his view. Then the department of transport demanded a costing for moving power lines to clear the passage for the ark’s move to the sea, despite me saying the sea would be coming to us.
Another problem was the Equal Opportunities Commission, who insisted I had to get a good ethnic cross-section of workers and on this score the Trades Unions waded in (if you’ll pardon the pun Lord) and insisted I could only use accredited workers with ark building experience. To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized my assets, claiming I am trying to leave the country with endangered species.
So forgive me Lord, but it really would take ten years to finish at this rate. Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you are not going to destroy the world?”
“No,” said the Lord. “The British Government is beating me to it!”