View Full Version : Let's have some fun!
Nonnie
10-10-2006, 05:37 PM
I put my car in the Freeads online thing to sell it. I got this today by email.
Hello seller,
I represent a client who is willing to purchase this car the stated price £ 495, I would like you to send me some pictures immediately so that i can fully asess it Also,be notified that if the vehicle my client requirements,then we do have a deal.The vehicle to be shipped back to London here.I would greatly appreciate it if you could send me the picturesimmediately.Plsget in touch through this Email address,also feel free to call on my number
below anytime.
Thanks..(070-240-35153)
Now, I do believe it might be a scam as it just looks, smells and tastes like one. I think it will be one of those Let's send a huge cheque and pocket the dfference type one.
My reply...
Hello buyer
Please find enclosed more pictures of the Ford Escort. As you can see it is in remarkable condition for it's year and well worth the money.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Seller
Now call me a cynic but I think it's a load of old crap. Therefore I feel some fun coming on.
bigredduke
10-10-2006, 05:46 PM
I would say that you are selling on behalf of a friend who works for the fraud squad who is too busy dealing with internet scams to sell it himself.:spin:
Nonnie
10-10-2006, 05:53 PM
A ha! Yes. I do actually have a friend who does really do it so it wouldn't really be even a lie!
Haha!
Nonnie desperately awaiting the next thrilling scamming email because I'm probably a bit sad
Darry
10-10-2006, 07:51 PM
The number is a non-geographic number too!
"Having an 070 number allows you to choose where your incoming calls are directed. Personal Numbers can be used to divert calls, allowing you to have a service that ‘follows you’ wherever you are. For instance some days you may wish all your calls to be directed to your office number and on other days directed to either your home or mobile.
The 070 number becomes your personal number for life even if your landline or mobile number changes.
Ideal for Sole traders or individual businessmen these numbers save time and money on returning calls and checking voicemails.
The solution allows you to control the destination of your calls via the phone or the web. "
benson
10-10-2006, 08:07 PM
Maybe it's from Kazakhstan??? I so can't wait to see that film....
Nonnie
10-10-2006, 08:21 PM
Thanks for your reply,i will like you to get back to me with the last ask price..urgently
I just got this. What does it mean? Why is it urgent? Is the world about to implode? I don't understand and frankly urgent to me generally means nothing.
benson
10-10-2006, 08:23 PM
It's Kazakhstan I tell you!!!!! Be afraid - very afraid - in an urgent sort of a way!!!:cool: :cool:
Nonnie
10-10-2006, 08:25 PM
Cripes! I will ask him if his name is Borat. I haven't replied to the last email yet and I will be sure to ask.
bigredduke
10-10-2006, 08:58 PM
I would post his number on a few dubious sites offering ladyboy sex sessions or some such unatural practices and let him deal with the consequences!
I would post his number on a few dubious sites offering ladyboy sex sessions or some such unatural practices and let him deal with the consequences!
Brilliant! :chuckle:
Gilps
11-10-2006, 11:05 AM
I would post his number on a few dubious sites offering ladyboy sex sessions or some such unatural practices and let him deal with the consequences!
I can't find any. Do you have any web addresses I could try. I'm just researching a book that I'm thinking of writing one day, perhaps.
Nonnie
11-10-2006, 02:52 PM
OMG! What's going on? I got this today from somebody else. It's a scammers only website I have obviously advertised my car on.
Hello
Am Interested in your Advert placement for sale and i want you to get back to me with this question if you are interested in selling it to me
(1) Last Price
(2) Condition
(3) Pics
Mode of Payment
My mode of payment will be cashier check or money order
Pick Up
I have a shipping company who will come and pick it up
Get back to me with details today
I will be Waiting for your Fast Reply
Best Regard
Roy
Nonnie
11-10-2006, 02:55 PM
Oh FFS Another ****ing one from a ****wit. OK, Bored now. I want to do something else.
Hello seller.
Im Joshua williams by name ,I came accross your contact details through web directory concerning the used car you have for sale and im highly interested in purchasing it.I will like to know all the details about the car before proceeding with the payment.....
1. How long have you owned it?
2. Why are you selling it?
3. Last Price?
So, your swift response to these required information would be highly entertained before proceeding to the next stage. The method of payment is Cheque. Kindly email back, if it's still forsale. Hope to hear from you asap.
Regards.
squiffything
11-10-2006, 03:15 PM
Hang on a minute Nonnie by the accent in the type they all sound a little eastern block. This means that they are all just down the road from you picking veg in the fens! They sound perfectly honest and willing buyers if you ask me. Just ask polish Bob if he's paying in cash or does he have a sister who could come and slave for you for a five year stint as a trade for the car
Nonnie
11-10-2006, 04:22 PM
I've just started work Squiffy with an organic chocolate company. In deepest darkest Norfolk, I am working with 4 Latvians (and a dead woman of unknown nationality), but 4 Latvians? How? How do they even know where Norfolk is? It's bizarre I tell you, bizarre. Still, they might come in handy for translation purposes!
Incidentally, one for you, like your signature, the company's motto is Everyone needs a little booja booja now and again. Hmmmmm.
p.s. I can eat their chocolates while I work and today had a shed load of champagne truffles.
benson
11-10-2006, 06:02 PM
I so love this thread.....
I think your work mates might be your potential buyers???
Champagne truffles - yummmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!
Nonnie
11-10-2006, 06:44 PM
I'll take the up for sale car to work tomorrow and see if I can drum up a little interest there then. Yes, the champagne choccies were fantastic. I am going to get you a box of them Rachel. I do believe you could get drunk on them.
benson
11-10-2006, 07:03 PM
I LOVE YOU NONNIE!!!!! Chocs for me - chocs for me!!!!
So - perhaps we should investigate whether it is in fact possible to get drunk on liquer chocs - I have onnly tried that once before and i was very very sick but I could be persuaded to do it again in the name of the advancement of science.
I have had SUCH a long day that actually I only think it would take half a cointreau choccy to tip me into tipsy land!!!!!
Nonnie
12-10-2006, 06:13 AM
Hello Seller,
My Name is Peter.
I'm a citizen of United Kingdom,but I have all my business with my family in United State of America. I have the intention of purchasing your advert for sale. I'll pay you with a UK cheque,and wait for the pick up once the transaction has been sealed. If this is okay with you,do get back to me with your LAST PRICE so that I can forward the payment to you.
Regards,
Peter.
Nonnie
12-10-2006, 06:13 AM
hello,i came across your ads on the internet that you which to sell
ur Ford Escort 1.6LX,which am interested in buying
from you. pls get back to me with the following details if still
available forsale.
the pics
it,s age
your final asking price.
i will like you to get back to me asap.
Bret Cahill.......
Nonnie
12-10-2006, 06:16 AM
Blimey what a lot of effort. I think it might even be the same person.
Thoroughly bored of the whole thing now. I don't even bother replying..Long gone are the days when you could advertise things in the paper and have someone buy them without trying to scam you out of the item and more.
Julie
12-10-2006, 06:21 AM
ohhhhh go on reply - i'm loving this thread x
Nonnie
12-10-2006, 06:49 AM
Oh go on then. Help me draft a response to them all. Something along the lines of..
Dear Sir or Madam ****wit,
Yes, I have a car for sale, no I don't care if you are a UK citizen. I don't understand what the phrase Last Price means, if you mean what is the least I am willing to sell the car for then at least ask me that but I expect your command of the english language is a little iffy to say the least. I don't want your cheque as it will never clear, it will be on quite a nice piece of paper that I imagine probably does look an awful lot like a real cheque but it isn't is it? You are a scamming no hoper who wants something for nothing and instead of going out and earning a decent living, you decide to sit behind your pc and try and pull a fast one.
Now, **** off and do something much more productive with your life.
Yours faithfully
xx
Julie
12-10-2006, 07:23 AM
Love it nonnie...
MilesB
12-10-2006, 07:52 AM
I don't understand what the phrase Last Price means, if you mean what is the least I am willing to sell the car for then at least ask me that but I expect your command of the english language is a little iffy to say the least.
I thought it was just me didn't understand the phrase :dunce: .
Just wondering how many more you are gonna get.
benson
13-10-2006, 09:16 AM
Dear Borat,
Thank you for your recent reply to my advertisement. Your finances are however I presume somewhat more flawed than Paul Robinson's excuses.
Yours,
Nonnie
scrumpster
13-10-2006, 11:15 AM
I'll take the up for sale car to work tomorrow and see if I can drum up a little interest there then. Yes, the champagne choccies were fantastic. I am going to get you a box of them Rachel. I do believe you could get drunk on them.
And where are mine??
Me aka Roy.......:thumbsup:
Nonnie
13-10-2006, 11:17 AM
Well, I was eating the Norfolk Toffee Apple Crumble ones yesterday and I didn't like them much. I'll get you a box of good ones Scrummy.
scrumpster
13-10-2006, 11:20 AM
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLoooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvve eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! I have in fact been investigating your said range on the web, tasty, very tasty :thumbsup: and that's without sampling them!!! :D
Nonnie
13-10-2006, 03:02 PM
Dear seller,
I hereby wish to in form you that i am interested in the purchase from your advert i saw on the internet today, Kindly give me your best offer.Will you accept a MONEY ORDER as payment? If you dont acept it do not e mail me back..ok I have Brother of mine who will be ready to
send you payment by post when we both finally agree on terms. If its still available forsale,and provide the details below...
YOUR NAME...........
ADDRESS FULL .....
TEL. NUMBER.........
LAST PRICE...............
your respons will highly appreciated.I will like you to call me on my mobile number 0731840116.Hope To hear from you again..........ok
Regards,
Dammy
squiffything
13-10-2006, 03:13 PM
Dear R. S. Wiper
Your response to my advert to purchase my prestige motor vehicle is a little bewildering. I do not understand your request for my final asking price. the asking price is printed on the advert and having taken quite some time researching the market and considering my options this is my final asking price.
If you are asking what my best offer price would be then I would have to say three times my final asking price. I could not expect to get any more than that but by all means supprise and delight me if you want to offer more.
I will gladly accept from you a large amount of cash provided it is delivered to my solicitors who will then process this on my behalf check its authenticity and confirm to me once the bank have given them the all clear. In doing this I will require a valid address and telephone number three forms of identity confirming who you are and that you occupy the said address and I will want to carry out a full investigation of your id with the CIA, FBI, Interpol, Scotland Yard and Bert the local Bobby who rides his bike through the village on the way to the local pub on a wednesday evening.
If your preferred choice of payment is by way of a cheque then I will require this to be sent to my solicitors and again this will be presented for clearance. Your bank will be contacted and the IRS will be asked to audit your account to establish that the funds are available and not in anyway subject to any form of hold or charge.
I am happy to deal with your agent as I know it is not always possible to get away from those pressing engagements that so often take up your time however my agents will want to meet them in person three weeks before collection and satisfy themselves on my behalf that they are accptable trustworthy sorts suitable to drive this type of classic automobile.
Finally I will need your family history including the addresses of your most immediate family members to whom my said agents can call upon should, heaven forbid, something go wrong during the course of our negotiations. This is only a precautionary measure on my part as you will appreciate there are some very untrustworthy dishonest dubious characters in this world who have been known to try and "scam" unwary innocent car sellers using the most stupidest ways of trying to steal there vehicles or off load monies obtained from unmentionable actions.
I eagerly await your reply.
squiffything
13-10-2006, 03:18 PM
Ther you go hun thats how a legal bod might deal with it.
Oh and the account will be prepared for the advice given and despatched via my agents for immediate payment
A pleasure doing business with you and i await your next set of instructions.
Yours sincerely etc etc
Nonnie
13-10-2006, 03:34 PM
Hehe. I like having legal friends.
I am going to send it. Urgently. Immediately, that sort of thing!
Nice one.
I'll pay you when they pay me!
squiffything
13-10-2006, 03:45 PM
Anyway apart from chief choccie taster what do you do for the latvians and the dead woman
Nonnie
13-10-2006, 03:50 PM
What do you mean apart from tasting the choccies? There is no other point to me being there. Oh but sometimes they make me do other stuff. I look very attractive in my hairnet and white coat.
But! I am hoping I can jump ship soon for the chance to dress up as a hedgehog and at other times a teddy bear to teach young children how to cross the road safely!
squiffything
13-10-2006, 03:54 PM
lmao now why does that not supprise me. Hey you know you said you have a clear sky and loads of stars on one of the other threads have you got room to house a telescope for me 1M long tube and 8" diameter its a biggun but i have to find a temporary home for it for a short while
oh and also is your all weather bike cover still being unused for the winter?
Nonnie
13-10-2006, 04:02 PM
oooh! Yes! I'll house the telescope if you don't mind us using it sometimes? We would be very careful (I really mean that)
And yes you can mind the outdoor cover for me (I don't mind if you use it :))
squiffything
13-10-2006, 07:07 PM
ok you're on I'll sort it for November and of course you may use it thats the whole point of having one. as long as if we're over your way we can have a look now and again. The cover would be a real bonus my poor bike has to sit in the garden all year and she does get cold in the winter
Nonnie
14-10-2006, 04:03 PM
Goodday,
my name is james, i was just searching via the site, when i saw the ad you place on your car, pls i will like you to give me the price and the condition so that we can start transaction soon.
Expecting to hear from you soon.
Regards.
+447031849714
This is my favourite so far. When the email came in, it came in as being from a David McLaren not James. hehe. Up the scammers. Yeah, right up the scammers.
Nonnie
15-10-2006, 07:49 PM
HELLO
My name is caple,i am intrested in buying your
(Ford Escort 1.6LX - )which the
price is stated above,please i will like you to inform me
about the state of condition,the last price you are
selling the ads and the resent pics of the ads,also i will
like you to reply me quickly because i need it
urgently.............regards
Oh **** off and die, the lot of you. I'm losing the will to live.
Tigerlily
15-10-2006, 08:05 PM
Have you had ANY genuine, half-literate buyers reply to the ad?
Nonnie
15-10-2006, 08:40 PM
No, nope, nada, zilch.
Can you believe it? It would be funny (actually it is) except for the fact that I am now thinking the world is full of scamming, illiterate, grammatically incorrect (aarrgghh I really hate that) bastards from bastardland.
No, nope, nada, zilch.
Can you believe it? It would be funny (actually it is) except for the fact that I am now thinking the world is full of scamming illiterate, grammatically incorrect (aarrgghh I really hate that) bastards from bastardland.
They are and I work with a couple of them.......
Though I can hand on heart say, neither of them are looking for an Escort car.
Sorry chuck.
Nonnie
15-10-2006, 08:42 PM
Do they want to buy a car?! haha.
Oh, you edited it. Bummer.
p.s. Your scarf is nearly ready. I am so slack. What with the working, the childcare, the wedding planning and the dealing with illiterate scamming gits, your scarf has sadly taken a back seat. Sorry.
Do they want to buy a car?! haha.
Gone are the days when people come around your house, sneer at your garden, kick the tyres of your car and then actually buy it.
Have you tried Ebay? :mand:
Nonnie
15-10-2006, 08:45 PM
Gone are the days when people come around your house, sneer at your garden, kick the tyres of your car and then actually buy it.
Have you tried Ebay? :mand:
Twice. It isn't even a pile of ****. Honest.
Twice. It isn't even a pile of ****. Honest.
Aww don't get me feeling sorry for you, I'll end up buying it for my daughter, she starts her driving lessons in January. :p
Nonnie
15-10-2006, 08:48 PM
If I've still got the reminder of this sad, sorry, sometimes sordid tale, then Mand, my dear, you can have it for her!
If I've still got the reminder of this sad, sorry, sometimes sordid tale, then Mand, my dear, you can have it for her!
:chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: I may just keep you to that!
benson
15-10-2006, 09:53 PM
Sorry that no one seeesm to posess the sense they were born with when it comes to buying the car... When I was selling my fireblade I had a number of similarly irritating calls from obvious scammers and it's just disheartening.... ANYWAY - I recommed re listing the car complete with the telephone number of someone you hate.....:rolleyes:
squiffything
16-10-2006, 06:22 AM
Oi don't even think of putting my number down!!!
Nonnie
16-10-2006, 03:05 PM
hello,
i saw your ads about selling of your mentioned
item...i will like to know the best price of it...with
the present condition...ok
+447031919231
+447031919239
It's that old Best Price nugget again isn't it? Next!
Good day ,
My name is Daniel Scott, I Saw your advert and i'm interested in buying.Pls Kindly update me on the present condition of it and i will like to know the
following as well ;
1) If it's still available for sale?
2) what is the final asking price ?
3)where it's located?
Also,recent pictures of it will be of immense help to me. I await your
response soon.
MY mode of payment will be cheque,hope you are ok with that..
Sincerely,
Daniel Scott.
Do you know what? You can **** off as well.
p.s. Your scarf is nearly ready. I am so slack. What with the working, the childcare, the wedding planning and the dealing with illiterate scamming gits, your scarf has sadly taken a back seat. Sorry.
The scarf! Oooo the scarf! I understand all the above except for the wedding planning. I am still waiting for Hugh Jackman to sweep me off my feet..... :heart:
Nonnie
16-10-2006, 07:01 PM
Serious question...I was asked at work today who would win a swordfight, me or Jonny Depp. I said, obviously I'd let him win. Mr Depp wasn't available for my forthcoming nuptials, why don't you ask Mr Jackman? I hope you will be very happy together.xx
Serious question...I was asked at work today who would win a swordfight, me or Jonny Depp. I said, obviously I'd let him win. Mr Depp wasn't available for my forthcoming nuptials, why don't you ask Mr Jackman? I hope you will be very happy together.xx
You see it wouldn't work between Hugh and myself in reality, I would insist that he dressed up as Van Helsing all the time. May get a bit hot in the Summer.
vBulletin® v3.8.3, Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.