QE2 Cruise………We’re Back! Part 1

[Didge]

Well, after 12 days of cruising the Med on ‘Queen Elizabeth 2’, we unhappily, are back. I say unhappily, because those 12 days flashed by like it was only half that.
To say we enjoyed it, would be the greatest of understatements. It was in fact, the best holiday Jan and I have ever experienced, and we would say to all of you, if ever you get the chance in life to experience a cruise on a Cunard ship, do it. You will not regret it. Yes, it seems expensive, but for what one gets, and experiences, it is not.
All temperatures are shown in the proper way. That is ‘Fahrenheit’. I wasn’t brought up on that foreign bloody Celsius or Centigrade rubbish.
Sunday 16th July 13:00
Our friends drove us into the Cunard terminal building in Southampton. As soon as the car had stopped, a porter appeared with a trolley, unloaded our luggage, and took it away for x-ray scanning, and loading on board ship.
We went to the check-in area, and joined the (then) small queue. They had about 25 check-in desks, and when it was our turn, the woman took our photo, checked tickets/passports etc, and gave us a plastic ‘Boarding Card’. This card was all we needed to do anything on our trip. Our passports would remain locked in our cabin safe, as this card would act as passport at all our destinations. It was all that was needed to pay for anything onboard, such as drinks, duty-free stuff etc, as an account was set up for each passenger, which was either settled at the end of the cruise, or you could register your credit/debit card with the ship’s Purser, which is what I did.
We sat in the waiting area, (smoking upstairs) for an hour or so, then, when boarding started, it proceeded quickly and efficiently.
We then used our Boarding cards for the first time as we boarded the beautiful Queen Elizabeth 2.
We were shown to our cabin (5212) by a steward, and found our baggage there waiting for us.
Our cabin was lovely. Twin beds, big double wardrobe, a floor to ceiling mirror, a dressing table and mirror with 3 draws, chest of draws with 4 draws, toilet/shower room, and of course the porthole. (I’d paid a bit extra for an ‘outside’ cabin, as it is so much nicer than the inside ones).
The cabin was spotless, and remained so for the duration, thanks to our cabin steward Jun. He came in every morning, whilst we were at breakfast, to clean, make the beds and change the towels etc, and then again whilst we were at dinner, to prepare the beds for the night.
After unpacking, and putting everything away, we proceeded to explore our new temporary home.
Although she is now almost 40 years old, she really is a beautiful ship, inside and out. Yes, she is showing her age in places, but she is so regal in many ways. It is really not possible to describe her in words. One must see and experience for oneself to truly appreciate her beauty.
We went on deck to watch the casting off at 17:00. Two tugs pulled her 70, 327 tons slowly away from the pier. They then disengaged from the ship, and she started to power herself out of the harbour.
She sounded her horn (3 long blasts and one short), then started slowly forward.
The sound of her horns is wonderful. Very deep, with a slight rasp, and you can feel the sound on deck.
Had to go through life-boat drill, as is a legal requirement.
At 18:15, it was time for our first meal, so we proceeded to our restaurant. We met our two waiters, Unni and Arnaud for the first time, also our drinks waiter Maxim, and we soon had a very friendly banter going with them. Something I suspect they don’t get a great deal of, considering the amount of snotty snobs on board.

[Didge]

The food was absolutely wonderful, in both flavour and presentation. The plates were ALWAYS placed in front of us with the Cunard crest at the top.
Whilst on the subject of food, this is the days eating times.
08:00 Breakfast
12:30 Lunch
16:00 Afternoon Tea
18:15 Dinner
23:00 Midnight buffet.
On top of this, there is 24 hour room service. Is it any wonder that I gained 4lbs?
I have to say though that we never bothered with afternoon tea, despite my love for it, as it just was all too much. I did attend the midnight buffet a few times I have to admit.
All food, including room service is included in the fare, so you only have to pay for alcohol and soft drinks. Everything is priced in U.S. Dollars.
After dinner, we looked around the ship some more, walking along the open decks and enjoying the sea air.
Early to bed, as we’d had an exciting and long day. Slept soundly.

Monday 17th July
Got up, and Jan experienced, for the first time in her life, a view that was nothing but sea all around us.
We were now in the notorious Bay of Biscay, and it’s almost like a mill pond. Whilst at sea, at midday, the ship blows that wonderful horn……..3 long. Shortly afterwards the Captain makes a daily announcement, giving details of position at sea, weather and other details. He mentions today, that the Bay of Biscay is the calmest he’s ever experienced.
Temp. in the 80s.

Tuesday 18th July
Still in the Atlantic, still in the 80s and still stuffing our faces.
A brilliant Caribbean band called Fusion play several times of day and night at various locations on the ship.
Went in the Grand Lounge to watch a comedian called John Martin. Very funny. Holds the world record for non-stop joke telling. (101 hours 39 minutes).

Wednesday 19th July
We are now in the Mediterranean Sea, and as the day goes on, we can feel the temp. rise.
At 14:00, there is a talk in the theatre by John Martin, the comedian we watched the night before. It’s a talk about ‘Operation Anthropoid’, the 1942 assassination of Reinhardt Heydrich, a particularly arrogant and nasty little Nazi.
As a WW2 anorak, I have to attend, despite knowing all about it, or so I thought.
John explains his interest in this particular subject, is to raise awareness of the brave men involved, as very little is known about them outside the Czech Republic.
Very, very interesting, and I came away realising that I hadn’t known as much as I thought I had concerning the men who brought about Mr Heydrichs demise.

[Didge]

Thursday 20th July
Arrive in Naples at 06:00.
I have booked only two tours on this cruise, and one of them is for Naples. ‘Panoramic Naples’ as the tour is called, lives up to it’s name. We get some wonderful shots of the surrounding areas, including Mt. Vesuvius across the water.
The drivers, and particularly the scooter riders, are bloody mental. The roads are chaos, but it seems an organised chaos, as everything keeps moving, and we don’t see any nasty crunches. (To Jan’s utter amazement).
We leave Naples at 17:00. Temp. has been in the high 90s.

Friday 21st July
We reach Civitavecchia at 06:00. It is from here, that those who wish to visit Rome can do so.
We decide against it. We really can’t be arsed to do a 3 hour round trip, and spend hours walking in the 98 degree temp. Everyone who went, that we spoke to, seemed to wish they hadn’t, as most found it very uncomfortable.
Jan stayed onboard, and I went for a stroll ashore. Sat down with a nice coffee, and did a bit of ‘mad Italian’ watching. I do have a soft spot for the Italians, and they have some lovely women.
We left Civitavecchia at 17:00 with the usual 3 long and one short from QE2’s horn.

Saturday 22nd July
Arrive at Portoferraio on Elba island at about 08:00. QE2 anchors off-shore as she is unable to dock here. This is her maiden stop at this port, and thus generated much interest amongst the locals who were coming out on everything from jetskies to large yachts to see her up close. This went on all day and was nice to experience.
Two platforms are lowered to 5 deck, and secured. Her six tenders are also lowered, and will continuously be going to and fro from the ship all day, to take us ashore and back.
Jan and I board a tender after breakfast, and thanks to the wakes left by various ferries etc, enjoy a rather bouncy journey to shore. You’d pay good money at a fun fair to experience a ride like that. we thought it was a great laugh.
Get ashore, and we instantly fall in love with the place. Despite the heat, we walk for ages visiting various interesting old buildings and places. Get some lovely photos of the place.
Sod crowded and stinky bloody Rome & the Vatican, This is my kind of place. If you’ve never been here, and get the chance, then do so. Elba Island is really quite lovely and interesting.
Back to the tender for another hairy choppy ride. Woo hoo. Love it!
Get some great water level shots of the QE2 as we approach her.
Leave Portoferraio at 18:00.

Sunday 23rd July

Arrive at Cannes 07:00. Like Portoferraio, QE2 cannot dock here, so it’s back on the tenders to reach shore. Yippee!
Bit of a bummer. The sea is nice and calm, so not such a fun ride to shore as yesterday.
Not really impressed with the place to be quite honest. Just a rich man’s playground really.
Lovely beaches though, and the water is so warm. Jan takes her skirt off, and with a top that barely covers her knickers, she jumps in the water. She’s such a tart.
Back on a tender to the ship, and Jan has the decency to put her skirt back on before we do so. I can’t take her anywhere.
Leave Cannes at 18:00.

[Didge]

Monday 24th July
Arrive at Barcelona at 07:00. Unlike all the other ports, we are only here for 7 hours, as it’s a long way to our next port of call. As a consequence, I don’t get to see a great deal. Poor Jan stays on board with a migraine. Fortunately, it’s fairly mild compared to what she normally suffers, and thus she was able to get out the next day after seeing the ships doctor. A very nice and (as one would expect on QE2), knowledgeable South African.
Leave Barcelona at 14:00.

Tuesday 25th July
Arrive at Gibraltar at noon. We have booked a tour of the rock and caves, so we are looking forward to this.
Tour bus takes us to the cable car station. Whilst in the queue, I notice something quite gross. I point it out to Jan. The bloke in front of us is wearing tan coloured trousers, and there is a fly walking around the arse area. Occasionally it flies off, then immediately settles back on his bum region. You can almost hear it sniffing. I said to Jan that I reckon he hasn’t ‘wiped’ properly, thus the fly can smell ‘dinner’, but frustratingly cannot find it. We’re trying to stifle fits of laughter. Because of our badly disguised mirth, and the fact that there are too many people behind us, I am unable to take a photo of this botty crime.
When we reach the top of the Rock, we start to take photos of the apes, and the wonderful views, it is then that we notice ‘Mr Skiddy’, scratching his bottom. Not lightly, but having a real good 3 finger jab and poke. That did it for us, and we cracked up laughing. People were looking at us as if we were mad. They obviously are not as observant as us. We stayed well away from ‘Mr Skiddy’ for the rest of the tour.
The views were spectacular, and when we entered the caves, the temperature dropped dramatically. The caves are awesome, but unfortunately, as caves usually are, they are also fairly dark, so the photos of them are not great.
After the tour, we decided to go into the shopping area, and buy a few things. I took a photo of Jan with a Gibraltan ‘Bobby’, and then it was back to the ship.
Left Gibraltar at 23:00.
There was a big deck party on the sun deck as we left. Great stuff.

[Didge]

Wednesday 26th July
A bit depressed now, as we know that we’re on our way home. Weather still very hot, with a strong warm breeze. There is a bit of a swell, and Jan starts to suffer seasickness. Took her to the doctor who gave her an anti-seasick injection. It virtually knocks her out, but as I said to her, rather that than nausea.
She spends most of the day in bed, but feels well enough to come to dinner that evening.
The waiters put on a big display, holding huge sparklers and marching around the restaurant.
After dinner, Jan goes back to bed.
At 23:00, I go alone to the Lido, where the chefs have made a huge display of food and ice sculptures. The central piece, is a huge dragon carved from ice, and is a good 15 foot long. Now, THAT’S impressive. Took loads of piccies obviously.

Thursday 27th July
Jan feeling MUCH better, and refreshed. She says she wants to start packing today, and doesn’t want me under her feet. So for part of the day, I’m banned from the cabin.
Packing complete, and we just relax on deck.

Friday 28th July
Back in Southampton. What a bummer. Our 12 days have gone so quickly, but we’ve loved every minute. (Not counting Jan’s migraine and seasickness of course). Will we do it again? Of course. We’ll probably travel on Queen Mary 2 next time, who knows.



FOOTNOTE
We took over 300 photographs. Thank Christ I bought that 1Gb card.
On board the QE2, there was the ‘Queens Grill’ and ‘Queens Lounge’. We also noted a lot of other ‘queens’ onboard. A fair few of the crew, and a few passengers. Nothing too camp or mincing, but they could not escape my trained eye. It comes with having worked with so many ‘nice boys’ over the years. A shame really, as I like the good old fashioned mincing queens. They tend to be a right laugh.
There was a female member of crew that was quite frightening. Obviously a body builder, we named her ‘Miss Steroid’. Not to her face obviously, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be writing this. She walked like a bloke, and was more ‘diesel’ than the ships engines.
Would have taken a photo, but I wanted to live to enjoy the cruise.

[Didge]

http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3mu8.jpg

Note the sign to the left.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3n1v.jpg

http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3ogp.jpg

http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3on6.jpg

http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3otg.jpg

[Didge]

This is a modern cruise ship, the 'Millenium'. Very glitzy I know, but if you put this type of ship on a block of concrete, it would look like a hotel.
Do the same with the QE2, and she would still look like a ship.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3t6d.jpg

A donut, courtesy of the Italian Coast Guard. The Italians are even nutters in the water.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3q08.jpg

Anchored off Portoferraio.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3rl5.jpg

A Royal rear end.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3sw0.jpg

[Paranoid Dave]

flippin ell you scrub up well Didge, Jan too obviously but i never doubted that ;) Glad you had a great time, hope the next few days and weeks aren't too depressing in comparison.

[Didge]

http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3ux2.jpg

One of QE2's 6 tenders.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3v2q.jpg

Our 'Stateroom' In Cunard speak. Cabin to the rest of us.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3var.jpg

A View from the 'Rock'.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3vo1.jpg

Jan with Gib Bobby.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3vvl.jpg

[Didge]

Ice Dragon.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3wk2.jpg

Some of the tons of grub on display.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3y3l.jpg

Our wine waiter Maxim.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3yh4.jpg

Our dining waiters Unni & Arnaud.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3yp5.jpg

Official Photo.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3z1k.jpg

The end of a wonderful 2 weeks.
http://i7.tinypic.com/21e3z9y.jpg

[Headhunter]

Didge,

Sounds and def looks like Jan and yourself had a fabulous time! :drunk:

Not green eyed at all.

[bad-yeti]

What a wonderful account.

Seems like you guys had a truly wonderful time, so glad to hear it.

Ahhh maybe I'll try it myself one day.

Nice photos by the way :)

[Lady-Bob]

A shame we have no photo of 'Mr Skiddy'!

Doesn't Arnaud look like he should be Scrapps' brother!?

[Pugi]

Jan looks lovely in the pictures. No idea who she had around her arm though...never, ever, seen him before.
Never had a thing for cruises, its'a always been one of those things that only 'old' people do, but I am now reconsidering. It's seems nice to be able to enjoy the travelling bit too, and being pampered all the way! I suppose the only thing holding me back would be those snotty pr!cks you can never get away from (even harder on a ship), the price (for a student) and the inferiority of the Fahrenheit temperature readings.

[McMONSTRO]

Great Pics and an interesting account of what was obviously a great holiday, never done it myself, but the girlfriends off to the Med on one late september, so who knows what next year may bring! I'll tell her to keep an eye out for flies though!

McMonstro

[benson]

SO pleased you had such a great time - and as for Mr Skiddy....a great story...

However Didge - as for your comment about the mincing old queens - who's the fella in the black tux then??? he he he :woot: :woot: :woot:

[Didge]

However Didge - as for your comment about the mincing old queens - who's the fella in the black tux then??? he he he :woot: :woot: :woot:


Oooooh! Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.:gay: :biggrin:

[benson]

:chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle:
:ymca:

[Darry]

Great read, Didge.

Can't believe that the bloke in the pictures and that dodgy looking bloke I met at Reigate hill are the same person.

So Happy for you guys that it all went so well.

Darry.