monty python

[lenny]

monty python and the holy grail or life of brian . both brilliant whats your view on the films . my best bit is bridgy of death WHAT IS YOUR NAME , LENNY. WHAT IS UR FAVORITE COLOUR , BLACK. WHEN IS NONNIE GOING TO SOUTHWORLD , ??. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:scratch:

[Bodybag]

What are you on about? Crazy fool!! LIFE OF BRIAN!! He's not coming out, he's been a very naughty boy!!

[bigredduke]

It's got to be LoB!

[Paranoid Dave]

would happily avoid either of them

[MrsJel]

It's got to be LoB!
Agreed.

Lenny, have you played the Holy Grail game on PC? Came out on Win95 (shows how old it was) - v. funny.

Carole

[Nonnie]

Hey Lenny and Linda, what were you doing last night?! I'll be at Veloces for midday Saturday or down at the pier in Southwold about 1ish. You can tell me all about it then!

p.s. Life of Brian.

[bad-yeti]

Life of Brian is just classic.

Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Mr. Cheeky: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
[Next prisoner]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...
Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

-------------------or best ever!!!!!!!!!!------------------

[holy music]
BABY BRIAN COHEN:
[crying]
WISE MAN #1:
Ahem.
MANDY COHEN:
Ohhh!
[whump]
Who are you?
WISE MAN #1:
We are three wise men.
MANDY:
What?!
WISE MAN #1:
We are three wise men.
MANDY:
Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
WISE MAN #3:
We are astrologers.
WISE MAN #1:
We have come from the East.
MANDY:
Is this some kind of joke?
WISE MAN #2:
We wish to praise the infant.
WISE MAN #1:
We must pay homage to him.
MANDY:
Homage? You're all drunk. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!
WISE MAN #1:
No--
MANDY:
Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
WISE MAN #2:
No, no. We must see him.
MANDY:
Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
WISE MAN #2:
We--
WISE MAN #1:
We were led by a star.
MANDY:
Or led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!
WISE MAN #1:
Well-- well, we must see him. We have brought presents.
MANDY:
Out!
WISE MAN #2:
Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh.
MANDY:
Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh, anyway?
WISE MAN #3:
It is a valuable balm.
MANDY:
A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.
WISE MAN #3:
What?
MANDY:
That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
WISE MAN #1:
No, it isn't.
MANDY:
Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
WISE MAN #3:
No, no, no. It is an ointment.
MANDY:
Aww, there is an animal called a balm,... or did I dream it? So, you're astrologers, are you? Well, what is he then?
WISE MAN #2:
Hmm?
MANDY:
What star sign is he?
WISE MAN #2:
Uh, Capricorn.
MANDY:
Uhh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
WISE MAN #2:
Ooh, but... he is the son of God, our Messiah.
WISE MAN #1:
King of the Jews.
MANDY:
And that's Capricorn, is it?
WISE MAN #2:
Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.
MANDY:
Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.' [sniff]
WISE MAN #1:
By what name are you calling him?
[holy music]
MANDY:
Uh, 'Brian'.
WISE MEN:
We worship you, O Brian, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Brian, and to the Lord, our Father. Amen.
MANDY:
Do you do a lot of this, then?
WISE MAN #2:
What?
MANDY:
This praising.
WISE MAN #2:
No, no. No, no.
MANDY:
Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
[WISE MEN leave]
Look at that. Hoo hoo hoo.
[WISE MEN return and grab presents]
Here! Here! Here, that-- that's mine! Hee. Hey, you just gave me that! Oh.
[whump]
[holy music]
BABY BRIAN:
[crying]
MANDY:
Shut up.
[smack]

That's all from me right now. Haw haw haw

BY

[bad-yeti]

Okay one more ;)


------------------or------------------



Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah".
[Everyone gasps]
Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself!
Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
Jewish Official: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?
Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!
Jewish Official: Was it you?
Stoner: Yes.
Jewish Official: Right...
Stoner: Well you did say "Jehovah. "
[Crowd throws rocks at the stoner]
Jewish Official: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "
[Crowd stones the Jewish Official to death]


LMAO

BY

[SazzaG]

I'm Brian and so's my wife.

[Bodybag]

That's right, sir... sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, thank you sir.

[Bodybag]

BRIAN
Did you say -- ex-leper?
EX-LEPER
That's right, sir... sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, thank you sir.
BRIAN
What happened?
EX-LEPER
I was cured, sir.
BRIAN
Cured?
EX-LEPER
Yes sir, a bloody miracle, sir. Bless you.
BRIAN
Who cured you?
EX-LEPER
Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. You're cured mate, sod you.
MANDY
Go away.
EX-LEPER
Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.
MANDY
You could go and get yourself a decent job, couldn't you?
EX-LEPER
Look, sir, my family has been in begging six generations. I'm not about to become a goat-herd, just because some long-haired conjuror starts mucking about. Just like that. "You're cured." Bloody do-gooder!
BRIAN
Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
EX-LEPER
Ah yeah, I could do that, sir yes, I suppose I could. What I was going to do was ask him if he could ... you know, just make me a bit lame in one leg during the week, you know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse to be quite blunt, sir, excuse my French but ...
BRIAN
There you are.
EX-LEPER
Thank you sir ... half a denary for my bloody life story!
BRIAN
There's no pleasing some people
EX-LEPER
That's just what Jesus said.

[Bodybag]

... http://www.angelfire.com/movies/closedcaptioned/briafilm.txt

Or this one

... http://www.angelfire.com/movies/closedcaptioned/grail.txt

[bad-yeti]

I'm Brian and so's my wife.

http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/blackeye/lol.gifLMFAO yes, I forgot that one. http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif
Yep
BY

[JMo]

... let's not go to Camalot, it is a silly place...

May favorite famous last words: "Aw f*ck off, it's only a bunny..."

xxx

[lenny]

only a bunny f*ck that ,run away:shocked: :shocked:

[SazzaG]

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

[SazzaG]

People called Romani they go the house...


Sorry, on my own tonight. Must go and do something more productive.

S

[gjfevans]

Cake or death?

[MrsJel]

How shall we f**k off?

Splitters.

[Banshee]

Bloody peoples front of Johdea. splitters

And while we are on the subject from now on i want to be called Loretta.

[gary tompkins]

I ask you what have the Romans ever done for us?

....errr....the aquaducts?