Thinking of taking things too literally.....

[A Yerbury]

I mean why not? that way my life should be a lot less confusing? :ukm:

Alex.

[Bob Dixon]

[QUOTE=A Yerbury]I mean why not? that way my life should be a lot less confusing? :ukm:

Yerbs, Don`t take this too literally, but would please get rid of your avatar, I find it creepy and disturbing............could you please find an alternative which reveals more of your inner self? Don`t keep hiding behind the mask.

[A Yerbury]

[QUOTE=A Yerbury]I mean why not? that way my life should be a lot less confusing? :ukm:

Yerbs, Don`t take this too literally, but would please get rid of your avatar, I find it creepy and disturbing............could you please find an alternative which reveals more of your inner self? Don`t keep hiding behind the mask.

that is my real self, layer upon layer of studied pretence, cool self regard, vacuity personified and devoid of anything remotely substantial or worthy of merit. I find this helps? how do you get through the day?

Alex.x

ps.attn 11 year old monster owners, it is not clever to "blow ones head off" as handguns are now illegal in the uk, paracetamol and alcopops are however available from most good corner shops.

[benson]

Pragmatic language disorder for all - good idea Alex...A mosy under-rated impairment!

In fact a colleague and I were talking, in a scholarly kind of way, yesterday about the strange things we have come across (sic) in our many years of work - PLD being one of them - the world of the too literal - the utterance "go to the toliet and wash you hands" once had a devastating effect on a 14 year old I once taught.....

I like you avatar btw - tres amusant:roger: (wishing I was a pirate)

[benson]

:banghead: "Dressing apraxia" is also a good one - where the client only dresses one side of her/himself...Rare but inordinately funny...

[A Yerbury]

:banghead: "Dressing apraxia" is also a good one - where the client only dresses one side of her/himself...Rare but inordinately funny...

L-R or up down? one way is funny, the other is the nadir of mirth!

[CraigMac]

I tend to dress to the right......

[steviej]

I tend to dress to the right......
I tend to dress to the left...............
..............are you left handed Craig??

[A Yerbury]

Bob, have you been taking things too literally? I mean the other day you were banging on about some like really old book and stuff? I'm all for rediscovering the classics but at my own place please!? and not here! (this is a bike site, for bikers and bikes and biker related things) the point I am making is that I don't appreciate you ramming moby **** down my throat.

Alex.x

ps.I dress to the left occasionally north by north west.

[steviej]

L-R or up down? one way is funny, the other is the nadir of mirth!

Does this mean that the 'Funny' way equates to the zenith of dolor!!!! :scratch:

[steviej]

.....................the point I am making is that I don't appreciate you ramming moby **** down my throat.Alex.x

But he has composed some classic tunes........hasn't he??:scratch:

[DesmoDog]

I do, at work. I find it the best method to really cause upset without breaking any rules, or laws.

For reading material I suggest down and out in London and Paris by some dead bloke and written quite a long time ago. It reads well though.

[CraigMac]

I tend to dress to the left...............
..............are you left handed Craig??

Stevie,

Most of the time, im right handed, but I tend to play snooker/fire a gun left handed, but I can also do it just as well left handed.

My Dad is a catholic and my Mother is a protestant, do you think this would explain my partial ambidextrousness....ness...ism....

PS....Im not a snooker contract killer/hitman, just in case anyone was thinking of hiring me to "Take out" Steve Davis....

Regards

[steviej]

For reading material I suggest down and out in London and Paris by some dead bloke and written quite a long time ago. It reads well though.

Excellent choice young man, may I suggest 'The Road to Wigan Pier' as a follow up..............:thumbsup:

ps: the 'Dead Bloke' was Eric Blair, no less...........Tony's great-grandfather..............NOT!!!!

[A Yerbury]

Stevie,

Most of the time, im right handed, but I tend to play snooker/fire a gun left handed, but I can also do it just as well left handed.

My Dad is a catholic and my Mother is a protestant, do you think this would explain my partial ambidextrousness....ness...ism....

PS....Im not a snooker contract killer/hitman, just in case anyone was thinking of hiring me to "Take out" Steve Davis....

Regards

Craig, I'm sure your mother has a heart of gold but this is a bike site, we will have none of that vulgarity here.

[DesmoDog]

Is that like "the road ahead" - Where Billy Gates told us all about his vision for world domination?

[steviej]

My Dad is a catholic and my Mother is a protestant, do you think this would explain my partial ambidextrousness....ness...ism....Regards

:eyepopping: :eyepopping: WOW, my Dad is a bloke and me Mam is a split arse mechanic :eyepopping: :eyepopping:

TTFN

[steviej]

Is that like "the road ahead" - Where Billy Gates told us all about his vision for world domination?

Nay lad, 'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac (deceased)...............

[CraigMac]

Im led to believe he's quite good at that book thing stuff...

[A Yerbury]

she's good, and quite fruity if one is 11!


A.
attn 11 year old monster owners, ban this sick filth etc.

[spacemonkey]

it is not clever to "blow ones head off" as handguns are now illegal in the uk

As you are now taking things more literally I cannot allow you to remain uninformed of the facts concerning handguns. You see, when that incident involving a nonce-groomer to the gentry going nuts in Dunblane occured, the pressure group, Mothers Against Reason lobbied those old doffers in parliament with lies, much in the same way the Rambler's Association have with off road driving/riding, which resulted in a knee jerk reaction banning handguns. This however only covered cartridge handguns, not muzzle loaders, so old cap'n'ball revolvers are stil available with the correct permits etc if you want to play Clint Eastwood, and are thus NOT illegal. This removal of handguns from LEGALLY entitled law abiding owners prompted Mothers Against Facts to proclaim that they had removed guns from the streets (I quote..). However, this law only applies to law abiding subjects and not criminals who are free to carry whatever fireams they can get their little mitts on, which is why gun crime has absolutely shot through the roof since Mothers Against Freedom won their lobbying. No doubt much the same as this NERC nonsense which will do absolutely nothing to stop illegal off road riding/driving anyhow...

ps, Shotguns, which are more readily available are better for doing this, but considering how far the trigger is from the barrel end (which is in the mouth-not very hygenic) is considered clever if you can blow one off.

pps, Clint only used a cap'n'ball Colt in The Good The Bad etc but it was actually a Richards conversion, which any fool will know enabled it to shoot with cartridges instead, thus making it illegal in this pit of a country.

ppps, Eric Blairs book is ace. I particularily like the one about the pigs too.

[A Yerbury]

I have been warned about using high velocity hunting rifles re:doing oneself in? apparently the recoil takes the face off, leaving one in a bit of a pickle, thanks for the tips though.

A.

ps.if you ever join one of these shady nudge nudge gun clubs that don't exist then let me know as I quite fancy shooting some guns, lots of guns.

[DesmoDog]

I can help you there sir. A short flight to a deniable airfield in Northern Europe could sort you out mate.

PS I think it's shotguns that are notorious for that, a case of reaching for the trigger tilting the head etc, why on earth they don't take to the thing with a hacksaw is beyond me.

[A Yerbury]

I can help you there sir. A short flight to a deniable airfield in Northern Europe could sort you out mate

cool, I can see a "meet" happening, would you recommend the famas g2 or something else?

[spacemonkey]

High velocity rifles certainly make a mess, but at least the barrel is shorter and can thus fit in the mouth with trigger within reach. Having found a few self inflicted victims I can say that the bones of the face indeed seperate. This is however not the recoil, but the muzzle gasses that cause the most damage. A high velocity rifle will blow the head away due to the explosive nature of the gasses combined with the explosive nature of High Velocity rounds. Not pretty. A shotgun on the other hand will normally totally mince the brain and seperate the cranial and facial bones, but in my personal experience, not always blow the brains 'out'. In other words, the pellets are contained within the remains of the cranium. The blood etc etc blows out the ears and cheeks etc but the movie method of en exploding head doesn't really happen. I have also been involved in many 9mm bullets to the head and again, the bullets have tended to rattle around the cranium rather than blow the head off as in Hollywood flicks. They only make tiny holes on the entry too. Brain is mash though. The preferred method for covert dispatchment is two .22 shots to the base of the cranium form a semi auto pistol, silenced or not. They merely rattle around the brain killing the victim but not leaving a mess at all and bugger all noise. The KGB preffered the 7.62 caliber for it's weapons and they developed a special cartridge for asassinations that contained the gasses within the cartridge when shot and thus no noise was produced. A certain TV celeb that was alledgedly involved with Russian Mafia (or not to be more exact) was killed by two 7.65 shots to the base of the skull. Her 'murderer' was set up with a 9mm pistol they dragged out of the canal. Alledgedly, possibly etc etc etc....

I think I really must get out more....:freak:

[spacemonkey]

cool, I can see a "meet" happening, would you recommend the famas g2 or something else?


French crap.....


Heckler and Koch all the way. Although I prefer something more primitive like the Martini Henry in 455/57 caliber. That'll teach 'em....

[A Yerbury]

thats a date then, flintlocks at dawn. Did you see Mr Clarkson being silly with a H & K? he missed (himself)

[spacemonkey]

I di unfortunately. What a total utter plonker. Didn't do the gun culture any favours at all. Shame he didn't hit himself...