Thinking of starting smoking

[Bob Dixon]

You know when people talk about food and you start to get hungry.....well all the talk about Craig's smoking has made me think I`ll give it a try. When I was a schoolkid I was never hard enough to smoke, but now I`m in my thirties I`m thinking 'What the heck, may as well give it a go!'
I watched a very interesting documentary released by the British American Tobacco Corporation which was very infomative. Apparently smoking can be quite beneficial; it will help toughen up your arteries, which can only be a good thing, and it can also help increase blood pressure, which sounds good to me.
The big question is ; Which brand? and of course filtered or unfiltered? I`m up for this, tell where I start...........

[stuartg]

You know when people talk about food and you start to get hungry.....well all the talk about Craig's smoking has made me think I`ll give it a try. When I was a schoolkid I was never hard enough to smoke, but now I`m in my thirties I`m thinking 'What the heck, may as well give it a go!'
I watched a very interesting documentary released by the British American Tobacco Corporation which was very infomative. Apparently smoking can be quite beneficial; it will help toughen up your arteries, which can only be a good thing, and it can also help increase blood pressure, which sounds good to me.
The big question is ; Which brand? and of course filtered or unfiltered? I`m up for this, tell where I start...........

Bob you could start by buying some green rizlas and some golden virginia and some grass from your local, friendly dealer. As you get braver you could progress onto king size papers for those really macho spliffs and then onto something chemically enhanced like skunk, about 15 times stronger than standard cannabis.

But then again you could be sensible and not bother at all !!!

[Fosse Foxfight]

You know when people talk about food and you start to get hungry.....well all the talk about Craig's smoking has made me think I`ll give it a try. When I was a schoolkid I was never hard enough to smoke, but now I`m in my thirties I`m thinking 'What the heck, may as well give it a go!'
I watched a very interesting documentary released by the British American Tobacco Corporation which was very infomative. Apparently smoking can be quite beneficial; it will help toughen up your arteries, which can only be a good thing, and it can also help increase blood pressure, which sounds good to me.
The big question is ; Which brand? and of course filtered or unfiltered? I`m up for this, tell where I start...........
I f you do feel the need to suck pathetic litle smouldering fires then you will need to seek out preferably Chinese or Russian fags. In the absence of these Players Navy Cutr are I believe still available although sadly I'm not sure that Capstan Full Strength are. If you can get your hands on some then Germain Dark Shag is a rolling tobacco and I believe the strongest legal tobacco you can buy. But if you havent smoked until now you should just like a large bonfire with some vegetation and plastic and newspaper and with the aid of a piece of pipe inhale the resultant smoke. This will help you catch up although you will end up with less mature arterial deposits and may just suffocate or die from carbon monoxide poisoning quickly as opposed to the slow lingering death that long term smokers enjoy

ta ra

[A Yerbury]

Dear Bob, another benefit you overlooked was this "dizzy" sensation? resident GP and all round cake muncher (man with a bike? on a red bike? with a duke???) anyway.... according to him it is the "nicotine" in cigs which causes this dizzy headrush sensation? which is grand news! as in the past I have had to rely on sex or heroin to attainin this sensation, both more expensive than 20 superkings (..although not by much! cheers Gordon-liddle bit ov polytix there, yes-in-deed mrsThatchmrsThatch..)

A.x

ps.stick with it Bob, the first few are a struggle to get down, you may feel like throwing up, breathing will be difficult and your throat will feel a bit funny afterwards ....but before long you will be puffing along with the bigger boys.

[CraigMac]

Bob.......JUST SAY NO.....

Even though you have pointed out some of the benifits of smoking, ive now been made aware of some of the pitfalls and im led to believe that its not very good for you, Ive heard that smoking makes you eat more clotted cream, makes you have problems with your anus, leading to the daily use of anusol, which in turn leaves you with stained fingers....not very nice hey!!

Having said that, smoking does make you cough a bit, which helps get that tar stuff off your lungs....so its not all that bad!!

Someone also pointed out that if we were made to smoke, then god would have put a chimney on our heads, which is just ridiculous.........

I hope this helps you make your mind up....

Regards.

[Fosse Foxfight]

Someone also pointed out that if we were made to smoke, then god would have put a chimney on our heads, which is just ridiculous.........

I hope this helps you make your mind up....

Regards.
Conversely if God hadn't meant us to smoke he wouldnt have invented emphysema and lung cancer....ya didnt think about that did you?

ta ra

[A Yerbury]

Bob.......JUST SAY NO.....

Even though you have pointed out some of the benifits of smoking, ive now been made aware of some of the pitfalls and im led to believe that its not very good for you, Ive heard that smoking makes you eat more clotted cream, makes you have problems with your anus, leading to the daily use of anusol, which in turn leaves you with stained fingers....not very nice hey!!

Having said that, smoking does make you cough a bit, which helps get that tar stuff off your lungs....so its not all that bad!!

Someone also pointed out that if we were made to smoke, then god would have put a chimney on our heads, which is just ridiculous.........

I hope this helps you make your mind up....

Regards.

Craig I hear that alcohol has cleansing properties? would you reccomend a large glass of vodka with ny cornflakes as I wish to flush my system like that Carol Vorderman.

A.

ps.Bob, if we were meant to do that then god would have created mankind with choirboys pre-attached.

[steviej]

If you want to smoke some proper sh!t, as it were, just follow the lonely dog walkers in the park; I think they call it 'Dogging', and await for the familier wretching stench of Mutt Poo. You then, without delay, kindly offer to 'take it' off their hands. Once with the acquisition, steal away to ones abode and place the tender turd on top of the radiator in ones vestibule and let it dry. (the quality aroma also aids in keeping them pesky bible bashers away) When totally dry you can use it in them proper roll-ups. For a 'Toasted Tobacco' effect just roast in the oven, gas mark 6 for 23 mins.

Another use for this treated Mutt Poo, is Snuff. A mate of mine had some dog sh!te all over his shoe the other day but he had failed to smell it. After using my Snuff his nose cleared immediately and he smelt it right away. Excellent stuff that snuff................:freak:


TTFN

[Bodybag]

Two pitfalls everyone has overlooked.

1. You'll have to buy an open face helmet. I tried to smoke with a full face one but kept burning my forehead!

2. As a result of the open face helmet you'll have to a. ride really slowly or b. burn your face once you're up to speed on your bike.

Neither of them are that stylish although I can understand your boyish excitement about smoking. I get like that whenever a girl talks to me. Probably why I'm still a vir....:confused:

Anyway hope this helps.

[stef]

How about sniffing crack ?
I quite enjoy the odd crack now and then, although in recent years, i have been sticking to just one supplier. if you dont know too well the person who is providing you with their crack, it could be pretty hairy, especially around leeds.
Some people have been known to lick crack, but i find that a little "advanced".

[Plum]

Listen to Soap Bar by Goldie Lookin Chain. This should help you decide on what sh1t you wish to smoke

[steviej]

How about sniffing crack ?
I quite enjoy the odd crack now and then, although in recent years, i have been sticking to just one supplier. if you dont know too well the person who is providing you with their crack, it could be pretty hairy, especially around leeds.
Some people have been known to lick crack, but i find that a little "advanced".

MMMmmm, I do confer. I find this pastime quite exquisite. Although when it gets a little damp it can lead to chapped lips for both supplier and suppliee (is that a word) and the only thing that eases the soreness is to partake in more crack, thus the downward trend takes hold and addiction is not that far off.:dizzy: :dizzy:

PS my crack dealer doesn't wear a leed...............:gromit:

[mark cross]

[QUOTE=stef]How about sniffing crack ?
Be carefull, especially on building sites

[spacemonkey]

Ya big bunch of jessies... baccy is for wimps, real men sniff formaldehyde. That totally clears your head. But there's nothing quite like opening up a green, putrefied postmortem and taking a deap breath through both nostrils. The effect stays with you all day....

Smoking? Pah....

[A Yerbury]

Ya big bunch of jessies... baccy is for wimps, real men sniff formaldehyde. That totally clears your head. But there's nothing quite like opening up a green, putrefied postmortem and taking a deap breath through both nostrils. The effect stays with you all day....

Smoking? Pah....

could you sue the deceaseds family for passive smoking? anyway I've seen csi and they put a little blob of pva glue up their noses, now that is proper hard.

[Mr C]

Try starting on the Patches and building up to cigarettes

[steviej]

Try starting on the Patches and building up to cigarettes


:idea: For a TOP HIT, you could chew the Nicotine Gum, fix a Nicotine Patch on and smoke a Capstan Full Strength at the same time............................:dizzy: :freak: :dizzy: :freak: :dizzy:
.....................if that don't do it, don't do it!!:p

[manwithredbike]

[QUOTE=A Yerbury] resident GP and all round cake muncher (man with a bike? on a red bike? with a duke???) anyway....

eh??!! what's all that about ?

anyway.... , spacemonkey - formaldehyde is actually one of the many ingredients in fags!!! could dead body sniffing be a ladder drug eventually leading to fags or do most sniffers keep it as a harmless social pastime.

[A Yerbury]

[QUOTE=A Yerbury] resident GP and all round cake muncher (man with a bike? on a red bike? with a duke???) anyway....

eh??!! what's all that about ?

anyway.... , spacemonkey - formaldehyde is actually one of the many ingredients in fags!!! could dead body sniffing be a ladder drug eventually leading to fags or do most sniffers keep it as a harmless social pastime.

It makes perfect sense, I was quoting you with regard to constrictive blood vessels, you sounded a bit Dougie Howser MD hence resident gp, however there are a few people with similar names man on a bike, big red duke and another one I forget (why not just use a name??) anyway I knew it was the cake bloke hence the cake refference. Hopefully you can suss out the rest, it was all nonsense as we were talking the craic (which you have perhaps twigged by now) any more confusion I am available for a walkthrough.

Rgds.
A.

[spacemonkey]

[anyway.... , spacemonkey - formaldehyde is actually one of the many ingredients in fags!!! could dead body sniffing be a ladder drug eventually leading to fags or do most sniffers keep it as a harmless social pastime.

Hmm... yes I know...

In December I was approached about 'starring' in a government propoganda 'commercial'. It was an anti smoking campaign. The idea was that I would be interviewed in my garb in the embalming room discussing the safety measures we have to take to avoid formaldehyde exposure, then at the end the interviewer would 'inform' me that formaldehyde was a major ingredient in fag smoke, and I would have to act suprised that eejits breath it in willingly. Well, first of all I turned it down straight away as I don't agree with this governments poxy propoganda, and also didn't want to appear an idiot infront of the nation on prime time TV. In the end word was passed on to the Institute and we told them to take a running jump, and none of us would appear in said propoganda. Toss pots... :thumbsdown:

[Fosse Foxfight]

Hmm... yes I know...

In December I was approached about 'starring' in a government propoganda 'commercial'. It was an anti smoking campaign. The idea was that I would be interviewed in my garb in the embalming room discussing the safety measures we have to take to avoid formaldehyde exposure, then at the end the interviewer would 'inform' me that formaldehyde was a major ingredient in fag smoke, and I would have to act suprised that eejits breath it in willingly. Well, first of all I turned it down straight away as I don't agree with this governments poxy propoganda, and also didn't want to appear an idiot infront of the nation on prime time TV. In the end word was passed on to the Institute and we told them to take a running jump, and none of us would appear in said propoganda. Toss pots... :thumbsdown:
Sounds like a missed opportunity.

[spacemonkey]

Maybe, but I have morals, and I hate the nanny state.
At the end of the day, I don't believe there is one person who doesn't know the dangers of smoking, but that doesn't stop them, and no amount of preaching will. If the government was really serious about it they would enforce a total ban on them in this country, but think of the tax revenue they would lose...

And I'm sure there are many other opportunities awaiting me to appear an idiot in front of the nation... That's why I never go on Millionaire.. in case they ask me a £500 question on football or something...:twak:

[manwithredbike]

the revenue generated is huge but the hidden cost to the nhs and industry by smoking is even more huger. (new word). i suppose it keeps people like me in a job.
one prob is that the tobacco industry and the politicians are a v. cosy couple. we the brain dead masses pay the cost while they cream the profits. same in most major industries, oil etc.

must join the queue and do me lotto, would never risk that £500 question on national tv.

[Little Monster]

Bob, the girls will really really fancy you if you smoke so hop to it. You'll look really cool, boys will fear you and girls will be in awe. It's clearly a no-brainer. :dunce:

[STIVH]

Bob ...........................................get a pipe!












you can cough, spit and moan to your hearts content and still keep the bugger unlit and no one's the wiser.........?

[CraigMac]

Bob,
I just wondered how you were were going on with the smoking?

Regards

[Fosse Foxfight]

Bob,
I just wondered how you were were going on with the smoking?

Regards
It seems he did it so well after all our well honed advice that he passed over yesterday after a short fight with cancer and emphysema:cry:

He will be missed probably

ta ra

[steviej]

It seems he did it so well after all our well honed advice that he passed over yesterday after a short fight with cancer and emphysema:cry:

He will be missed probably

ta ra

A chat with you and somehow death loses its sting...

Hey Sean, do you have a leaning to meet the Grim Reaper by any chance ar'kid................................:on: :on: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle: :chuckle:

[Fosse Foxfight]

Hey Sean, do you have a leaning to meet the Grim Reaper by any chance ar'kid

Aaaaaah, the Grim Reaper eh? A character much maligned and misunderstood. Feared in the dark ages and personified in medieval times as carrying a scythe and wearing sinister robes, said to appear to take away those meant for the netherworld. Turns out these days that he actually prefers power tools and instead of the robes he prefers a decent set of D.ickies overalls and has expanded his repertoire from merely reaping to other agricultural and even domestic gardening tasks, including fencing and decking.

ta ra

will some ****ing body sort out this censoring......ya couldnt even talk about **** Turpin, or **** Dastardly if the need arose

[steviej]

......ya couldnt even talk about **** Turpin, or **** Dastardly if the need arose


Well for one, I've never heard of C0ck Turpin or C0ck Dastardly.............:eyepopping:


Were there's a will, there's a dead relative..........:roger: Ooops now I'm at this Grim stuff:dizzy: