View Full Version : The worst film you've ever paid to see?
Bruce
12-11-2005, 01:53 PM
"Lost in Translation" what was all that about :confused:
GULLY
12-11-2005, 08:55 PM
Firstly, may I apologise to Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes fans.
The film "Rising Sun" was the worst film I have ever seen in my entire life and I begrudged paying for it. Saw this film on a first date with my then girlfriend (now my wife) and I have been paying for it ever since :D
Gully :twisted:
Battlefield earth....flatmate wanted to see that.
oh, and notting hill...
w108rna
12-11-2005, 11:05 PM
Most awful film ever is 'Guest house paradiso', spin off from 'Bottom'. I loved Bottom and still do but that film sucked. Followed closely by'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' with Jim Carrey. Again, i love Jim Carrey films but this one was just awful.
Ta ta
Well I didn't pay to see it, my dad did but ET - the most ****e film of all time!
Crying over an alien, you should be ashamed of yourselves!!!!!!
A Yerbury
13-11-2005, 09:44 AM
Eternal sunshine is a magical, origional and beautiful piece of film.
McMONSTRO
13-11-2005, 12:21 PM
Eyes wide shut! Cruise and Kidman, should have been called "try to keep your eyes open"!
Speed 2 - Yes, actually even worse than the first.
A Yerbury
13-11-2005, 05:17 PM
Speed 2 - Yes, actually even worse than the first.
yes but what made you attend???
Paranoid Dave
13-11-2005, 05:30 PM
the tigger movie, yes i paid :eek:
oh and the brady bunch.
dont ask!
CraigMac
13-11-2005, 05:40 PM
The film version of "On the Buses".....Not a patch on the TV series.......
Reg Varney and other British Icons, rip the heart out of this tragicomedic, introspective, look at the lives of London bus crews.
Blakey,s use of " I hate you Butler".....Turgid at best..
Regards
brewhaha
13-11-2005, 06:07 PM
I took my then 3 year old daughter to see Barney - The Movie
Bloody awful, though it did have a character curiously called BJ.
A Yerbury
13-11-2005, 06:35 PM
Latex vixens number 5. compared to the earlier incarnations of this homotragimasterpiece number 5 is the weakest of the lot, very little in the way of character development, some of the leads stand out giving memorable performances but on the whole a bit of a damp squib (whatever they are) thumbs down etc..
ps.Craig I have the origional "on the busses" in Cantonese with directors commentry, truly sublime, cinema verite at it's best.
CraigMac
13-11-2005, 06:55 PM
Latex vixens number 5. compared to the earlier incarnations of this homotragimasterpiece number 5 is the weakest of the lot, very little in the way of character development, some of the leads stand out giving memorable performances but on the whole a bit of a damp squib (whatever they are) thumbs down etc..
ps.Craig I have the origional "on the busses" in Cantonese with directors commentry, truly sublime, cinema verite at it's best.
Alex,
A great review!
The third in the "Biker Chicks" trilogy and quite frankly, the worst in my opinion!!
yes but what made you attend???
Rented it together with a friend. It was really boring to grow up where i did. We'd usually get into trouble instead but had probably got caught one time too many that particular week..
Little Monster
13-11-2005, 07:42 PM
Cabin Fever. Borrowed it off a pal on DVD so didn't pay to see it but it was so bad, I felt I'd paid! That's an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back. Could have lived without seeing Eyes Wide Shut too.
rxtim
13-11-2005, 07:46 PM
2nd & 3rd Matrix films, kind of thought surely the third one would be better than the 2nd, but no!
Yorkie
13-11-2005, 07:58 PM
XXX (Not the porno-cos that was good) but the one with Vin in it, bought it from Blockbuster, one of my ex-friends said it was good, then sold it on.
Yorkie.
Once asked a workmate once to recommend a Video (a what!? Those under a certain age may need to look it up) as he is a big film buff and also asked for something that would be suitable viewing for 'this new bird i am seeing', who is now my wife.
'What sort of thing is she into?' He asks
'Sci-Fi. She's a big Star Wars fan' i reply
'Get Stormship Troopers' he insisted.
So off i go to Blockbuster to shell out my hard earned cash on a video and nibbles. Pick up a large bottle of screwtop 'Vino Collapso' (shes low maintenance my wife!) and off home we go.
The video is utterly pants! The wine and beer made no difference to way we both felt after, and I nearly rang the Samaritans halfway through.
Monday morning comes and in to work i go. I see the so called workmate and politely express my displeasure at his recommendation.
'Alex! That film was the biggest pile of f**king sh*t i have ever seen'
'Yeah! I know' came the reply
Wank3r!
Paranoid Dave
13-11-2005, 10:07 PM
can i add to my list please
lord of the rings.
i saw the first one at the cinema and thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever made, special effects let it down, plot was crazy, over acted and the scene by scene of 'certain death' that somehow they get through before meeting 'almost certain death' and after that.. I refuse to watch number 2 and 3 and still wonder why it got so many awards. Too many geeky nerds out there i reckon.
claicerrig
13-11-2005, 10:11 PM
Keneth Branaghs version of FRANKENSTIN :eek:
Shandy
13-11-2005, 10:44 PM
Blade 3, now that was a waste of a couple of hours of my life i'll never get back. The first one i thought was good, the second not too bad, the third well watching eastenders would probably have been better!
can i add to my list please
lord of the rings.
i saw the first one at the cinema and thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever made, special effects let it down, plot was crazy, over acted and the scene by scene of 'certain death' that somehow they get through before meeting 'almost certain death' and after that.. I refuse to watch number 2 and 3 and still wonder why it got so many awards. Too many geeky nerds out there i reckon.
Oooo now Dave, I have to agree with you there. Boring! In fact my work colleague went with Al for the sequels and I went bowling with her other half - result!
Didge
14-11-2005, 08:35 AM
Not a film I know, but a DVD of a so-called -comedy tv series. I don't watch tv at all, so a mate lent me a dvd of 'LITTLE BRITAIN'.
Now I know that it's 'each to their own' when it comes to films, comedy & drama etc, but this is total drivel, yet people rave about it.
I'm sorry, but a bunch of 'funny' looking characters spewing out a load of so-called catch phrases, does not a comedy make.
I've seen funnier things in the bottom of the toilet bowl.
SAMMYE
14-11-2005, 08:49 AM
Not a film I know, but a DVD of a so-called -comedy tv series. I don't watch tv at all, so a mate lent me a dvd of 'LITTLE BRITAIN'.
Now I know that it's 'each to their own' when it comes to films, comedy & drama etc, but this is total drivel, yet people rave about it.
I'm sorry, but a bunch of 'funny' looking characters spewing out a load of so-called catch phrases, does not a comedy make.
I've seen funnier things in the bottom of the toilet bowl.
Oh... I can't believe you just said that What did you do that for, you total virgin
Don't give me evils
yeah but no but yeah but no but like this is what like britain is like these days Oh, my God! it is sooooooo unfair
This is like, well, sexual harassment! If you like, fancy me why don't you just say so? God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.
But, anyway I have met Blazin' Squad and they said I should definitely come backstage and see 'em and do 'em, and anyway I do know them already because I'm their assistant. And if Rowan Gordon says I'm not then don't listen to him because everyone knows he's mental because he once shoved his knob through Miss Mayal's letterbox.
Oh your so like a 4X4 driverrrrrr!!
Chappers
14-11-2005, 08:54 AM
Down With Love - Renee Zellweger & Ewan McGregor...mum wanted to see it :o
nik_the_brief
14-11-2005, 09:35 AM
Moulin Rouge - 'nuff said!
paul620sie
14-11-2005, 10:19 AM
Dogsville - left after 20mins
A beautiful mind.. had to stop after 30mins.. what was the point of that film ??
also.."Hells angels on wheels" ...with jacko nicholson.
in the "what if" category,
i thought Enigma and Titanic were completely irrealistic. as if it could really happen..i wasnt born yesterday.
Churchill the Hollywood years. Worst crap ever
Shakespeare in Love.
I stupidly sat through all of it.
Even Julie was stunned into (temporary) silence, and she just never stops complaining if I take her to something she doesn't enjoy, so I thought she was actually loving it.
I spent the duration of the film working on my break-up speech.
A Yerbury
14-11-2005, 02:57 PM
Showgirls, despite the hype, salacious write ups and "ban this sick porno filth" (copyright the Daily Mail) this was a most disapointing film?! granted a few performers held their own but overall a big thumbs down...If you are after some bona fide titilation I heartily recommend Latex Vixens number 3, late 90's art house noir at its very best. sublime.
A Yerbury
14-11-2005, 03:08 PM
Shakespeare in Love.
I stupidly sat through all of it.
Even Julie was stunned into (temporary) silence, and she just never stops complaining if I take her to something she doesn't enjoy, so I thought she was actually loving it.
I spent the duration of the film working on my break-up speech.
I thought you two would enjoy the occasional chick flick? okay, the special effects are not fantastic but I quite enjoyed it.
nik_the_brief
14-11-2005, 03:13 PM
I thought you two would enjoy the occasional chick flick? okay, the special effects are not fantastic but I quite enjoyed it.
Chick flick - oh I get it. Ooer missus.
You smartarse punmeister Mr. Yerbury...
Paranoid Dave
14-11-2005, 03:59 PM
SPIDERMAN
after 30 minutes i thought this cant get any worse, and it did, every sodding minute it got worse and the end was so bad i laughed when i wasn't meant to. And then it won all the awards! Why i never trust hollywood.
I thought it might be arty. It's a Scandanavian film about puppets - a tragedy/fairy story.
Unfortunately the main 'character' looked like one of the puppets from Team American World Police, and I kept laughing out loud. There was supposed to be a moving/tear-jerking section at the end but I literally burst out laughing.
A Yerbury
14-11-2005, 05:47 PM
Chick flick - oh I get it. Ooer missus.
You smartarse punmeister Mr. Yerbury...
sorry Beefy, you seem to be confusing chick flick with chic lit? found behind the knees apparently?
confused etc.
Alex.x
Didge
14-11-2005, 06:11 PM
TITANIC, PEARL HARBOUR & ENEMY AT THE GATE.
All potentialy good films about REAL events, but all turned into 'love triangle' Hollywood bullsh*t.
I was particulaly annoyed with ENEMY AT THE GATE, as I was hoping it would be a true historical film of the horrific battle of Stalingrad.
They never learn.
Paranoid Dave
14-11-2005, 06:34 PM
come to think of it didge, lets not blamy hollywood after all, its the americans on the whole as they are so lacking in a desire to watch good films, they love the slush, the changes of anything factual, the chees and special effects. I guess they get what they want. Maybe its us who have to learn not to pay money to watch this crap.
nik_the_brief
14-11-2005, 06:38 PM
TITANIC, PEARL HARBOUR & ENEMY AT THE GATE.
All potentialy good films about REAL events, but all turned into 'love triangle' Hollywood bullsh*t.
I was particulaly annoyed with ENEMY AT THE GATE, as I was hoping it would be a true historical film of the horrific battle of Stalingrad.
They never learn.
Yeah agreed on Enemy at the Gate Didge, especially after reading the book, what a let down.
A Yerbury
14-11-2005, 06:58 PM
come to think of it didge, lets not blamy hollywood after all, its the americans on the whole as they are so lacking in a desire to watch good films, they love the slush, the changes of anything factual, the chees and special effects. I guess they get what they want. Maybe its us who have to learn not to pay money to watch this crap.
Trees Lounge? Buffalo 66? Reservoir dogs? Napolean Dynamite? Pi? The killing of a Chinese bookie? Anything by the Cohen Bros? Point Blank? .....If by American you mean Hollywodd schlock then fair enough but what do you expect? American cinema (like it's literature) is alive and very well.
Paranoid Dave
14-11-2005, 07:53 PM
i did indeed mean shoddywood, not just americana. I am a fan of coen bros and mr spielberg has had the odd classic. There are always exceptions to any rule.
Trees Lounge? Buffalo 66? Reservoir dogs? Napolean Dynamite? Pi? The killing of a Chinese bookie? Anything by the Cohen Bros? Point Blank? ......
Sound like it's time for a thread with good films...?
I'm quite the film conneseuer myself and wouldn't mind a few tips. Preferably independent film since you never hear much of them.
Bruce
15-11-2005, 02:28 AM
when i started this thread i forgot to mention "Cyote Ugly", nice looking dim wimmin but utter crap!
Melnie Mouse
15-11-2005, 08:43 AM
Much Ado about nothing, I went on a date, he was boring and the film was boring and I fell asleep...
Needless to say I never saw him again!
Nonnie
15-11-2005, 08:52 AM
Sideways.
Oh goodness me what a pile of ****. I didn't even bother to watch the end of it. I sat there for quite a while trying very very hard to get in to the story but it was nigh on impossible.
Wasn't that impressed with Artificial Intelligence either. It started off well but for me, lost the plot halfway through. Was very disappointed.
A Yerbury
15-11-2005, 09:26 AM
Sideways.
Oh goodness me what a pile of ****. I didn't even bother to watch the end of it. I sat there for quite a while trying very very hard to get in to the story but it was nigh on impossible.
Wasn't that impressed with Artificial Intelligence either. It started off well but for me, lost the plot halfway through. Was very disappointed.
I agree, my sister loved sideways "ohh you'll like this etc etc" sweet idea but far to happy with its own quirky non hollywood pretensions. Also nowhere even remotely as smart as swingers, which handles a similar theme with aplomb.
remo6966
15-11-2005, 04:57 PM
Lost in Translation was truly a turgid durge of a film, closly matched by the over hyped, under plotted, one gag film that is The Truman Show. :eek: Again first date material with the lady that is now my wife.
Funny how many that happens to. Maybe we feel the need to make up for the poor first date film selection with a life time of guilt.
Actually quite enjoyed Eternal Sunshine, although the start is very slow.
Hated with a passion that starts wars the film that was Moulin Rouge. One of the very few films I have watched for 20 minutes then walked away.
The only two films I have paid to see more than once however were Nine 1/2 weeks, for obvious reasons, (I was only 18) and Roger Rabbitt. (I had several girlfriends at the time). :twisted:
A Yerbury
15-11-2005, 05:21 PM
Lost in Translation was overated, a bit too "aren't the Japs kooky" for my liking, they are obviosly but also very cool (see Mystery train) Murray plays the crumpled/resigned far better in Rushmore and the Royal Tenenbaums.
grunter
15-11-2005, 06:10 PM
the killer dog? :o
abbeyalto
15-11-2005, 06:59 PM
I paid 18 quid for the above video because 'They Live' was fantastic.
It was totally awful from beginning to end, although it did have a frog with three nobs in it.
Bruce
16-11-2005, 03:03 AM
Lost in Translation was overated, a bit too "aren't the Japs kooky" for my liking, they are obviosly but also very cool (see Mystery train) Murray plays the crumpled/resigned far better in Rushmore and the Royal Tenenbaums.
Sorry but Japaneses people are anything but cool, (unless maybe they are on the telly striking a pose with a bloody great sword :D ) i have professional dealings with them and cool isn't a word that immediately springs to mind, polite maybe, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, yes definitely, but not :cool:
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 07:25 AM
Sorry but Japaneses people are anything but cool, (unless maybe they are on the telly striking a pose with a bloody great sword :D ) i have professional dealings with them and cool isn't a word that immediately springs to mind, polite maybe, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, yes definitely, but not :cool:
err perhaps because those are business dealings?! I was referring to "tha kids"
Alex Mifune.
Sorry but Japaneses people are anything but cool, (unless maybe they are on the telly striking a pose with a bloody great sword :D ) i have professional dealings with them and cool isn't a word that immediately springs to mind, polite maybe, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, yes definitely, but not :cool:
they probably think us europeans are polite, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, and that we all look the same.
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 09:15 AM
they probably think us europeans are polite, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, and that we all look the same.
true, a japanese girl I once knew complained that most English men looked like potato's, not me obviously because I have asiatic qualities...alas no sword just yet but my cousin and I once had some very :cool: ninja stars with bruce lee on them. I got him on the elbow btw.
paul620sie
16-11-2005, 10:29 AM
Sorry but Japaneses people are anything but cool, (unless maybe they are on the telly striking a pose with a bloody great sword :D ) i have professional dealings with them and cool isn't a word that immediately springs to mind, polite maybe, uptight, annoying, complete disregard for anybody's personal safety - including their own safety, yes definitely, but not :cool:
I fully agree with that, second only to the Koreans who I have dealt with too much. Koreans are more uptight, anoying etc etc, plus their national "dish" is kimchi (rotten fermenting cabbage). Added confusion arrises because they only have three sirnames for the whole nation; Lee, Kim and Cho!
but the worst film ever is still dogsville!
nik_the_brief
16-11-2005, 01:11 PM
I fully agree with that, second only to the Koreans who I have dealt with too much. Koreans are more uptight, anoying etc etc, plus their national "dish" is kimchi (rotten fermenting cabbage). Added confusion arrises because they only have three sirnames for the whole nation; Lee, Kim and Cho!
but the worst film ever is still dogsville!
Mmm - Kimchi and dog, apparently the Japanese used them to do the vicious jobs that even they couldn't stomach in WW2.
Actually I've met and trained with a few Korean guys when I was more heavily involved in taekwondo training than I am right now and many of them were genuinely nice blokes. Sticklers for regulations and discipline but that's not always a bad thing.
I quite like both Koreans and Japanese as a general rule, it's just that you have to appreciate that they have a completely different mindset to us (generally lazy and decadent) westerners.
CraigMac
16-11-2005, 01:15 PM
My brother once told me that he had hurt his "Japs Eye". But he refused to elaborate any further. I thought this was a bit odd as he's English....
Regards
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 01:43 PM
Is it true that people from Germanland have no sense of humour, wear mullets and like nothing more than jeering.."Ha! For you Tommy Englander zer var iz ovah!"
just curious!
Alex.
ps.Apparently brown boys have big willys!
brewhaha
16-11-2005, 05:01 PM
Is it true that people from Germanland have no sense of humour, wear mullets and like nothing more than jeering.."Ha! For you Tommy Englander zer var iz ovah!"
just curious!
Alex.
ps.Apparently brown boys have big willys!
Yes, its very true about the Germans, I have been to Frankfurt a few times and they are all of the above, but you forgot fat and obnoxious
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 05:23 PM
thank god the uk is full of slender charming people that eat proper food, hurrah for me and us! Are americans fatter than the Germans? are the French more obnoxious than the Germans? or is that Parisians?? this zenophobia is all most confusing! I am putting together a chart.
Craig I hope your brother is better now? was it not a "black eye"? or is that phrase outlawed by the nanny state?! it's political correctness gone bonkers I tell you!
yours concerned bordering on the hopeful.
Alex.x
CraigMac
16-11-2005, 06:15 PM
Gott and Himmel....Give me a nice, spicy Lincolnshire or a Cumberland ring any day of the week!!
The Germans make some of the Vurst sausages I have ever tasted. They even do one thats called a "FlieshVurst" which im led to believe is made of flesh....Now thats what I call bad taste!!
(Ive heard that they do eat each other....for kicks!!) Whacky Jerries hey!!
Alex, Thank you for your concern over my brothers little problem, but he wishes to put the past well behind him and after a dose of antibiotics and some thing to do with an umbrella...the problem with his oriental eye went away...
Regards.
nik_the_brief
16-11-2005, 06:19 PM
(Ive heard that they do eat each other....for kicks!!) Whacky Jerries hey!!
Zany indeed, I watched a very educational film of two nubile young German women eating one another once. It looked quite fun to me...
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 06:29 PM
phew! I am relieved that via robotics your brother made a full recovery, (I think you made the umbrella thing up TBH) modern technology and breakdancing are the way forward I think.
The Germans eat one another? I thought that was the brown boys? perhaps your good self -or Dean, (he is a whizz on the electric highway!) have some pictures of strapping young Germans tucking into the "flesh sausage" ?? if they were wearing SS uniforms maybe that would best illustrate this truly amazing fact? Bikes are great obviously but there is just so much more to learn! Fascinating stuff.
Yours.
Alex.
Wabbitkilla
16-11-2005, 10:16 PM
Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy - pile of poo!
Troy - the steam from the above!
A Yerbury
16-11-2005, 10:25 PM
you're right, hitchikers was abysmal... even genius Sam Rockwell could not salvage that one, still, four in on a dvd was not that great an A bomb to the purse strings...
brewhaha
17-11-2005, 09:26 AM
They (Germans) also have crap beer made from wheat - Weisbier - it coats your throat and tastes horrible
A Yerbury
17-11-2005, 10:03 AM
silly boy, they do drink other varieties of beer......personally I think weiss is nice!
Mrs Soup
17-11-2005, 12:30 PM
Tron - need I say more?
i liked tron ! i was about 10 ! i thought it was fab.. and it has bikes that turn at right angle.
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