Christmas is upon us [Archive] - UK Monster Owners Club Forum

Nonnie

14-10-2005, 06:54 PM

Are you crazy???

I lurve Christmas. It's great, you buy presents, you get presents, you eat loads, you drink loads, you see family if you want and sometimes when you don't want (but, hey it's Christmas). There's stuff on TV and loads of parties. With a bit of luck it'll snow. Maybe it's the only time of the year, you actually wish people well or get it back yourself. You get some time off work (mostly) and maybe it's just me but I always thought there was something wonderful about it.

Am I the only one who has magical memories of Christmas Eve and the anticipation of it all? Although I'm nearly grown up now, I still have that feeling.

Jeez this place is turning into the United Kingdom Miserable Ogres Club!

Lighten up and come to mine and eat turkey for 4 days!

Paranoid Dave

14-10-2005, 07:08 PM

you spend too much, you get crap you dont want, see people you wish you didn't have to, for someone who don't like roast and vegies like me the dinner is nothing to get excited over, alcohol... well no thanks. And i have to fit all that into two days. oooh i cant wait.
bigredduke - i work for sainsburys so i know just how long its been on shelf and how long it had been in the stores awaiting display. I have also personally counted every gift, box of cards, wrap and crackers in the store along with a few thousand other things in the last few days.
December 26th - yes 26th - we are requested to work in order to remove all traces of advertising and decorations and swap it for january savings promotion material ready for 8am trade on the 27th.

BOLLOX to that :mad:

Nonnie

14-10-2005, 07:14 PM

Deck the halls with boughs of non-endangered plant species
Fa la la la la, la la la la
'Tis the season to be self-actualizing,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our alternate-lifestyle apparel
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Toll the ancient non-denominational-winter-solstice-holiday carol
Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing log of non-denominational-winter-solstice-holiday-non-
endangered wood before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Play the harp without unnecessary brutality and join the chorus
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Sing we emotionally stable in a collective group effort,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless of the weather patterns despite the effects of global warming,
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Fast away the mature year passes
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hail the new year without any implicit ageism, ye persons
Fa la la la la la la la la
Dance in a non-hierarchical manner in merry measure,
Fa la la la la la la la la
While I tell of non-materialistic, non-denominational-winter-solstice-holiday
treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Paranoid Dave

14-10-2005, 07:20 PM

erm....., yeh

A Yerbury

14-10-2005, 07:21 PM

I love it like I love breasts, good presents (it's all about having a list) meat meat meat, single malts, more meat and 7 days off....and possibly the poseidon adventure. God bless us everyone! however having slade piped trough is a drag, I believe waitrose has a no muzak policy, as do lidl (I go there for bits)

seasons best etc.

Paranoid Dave

14-10-2005, 07:22 PM

we have no music, i call that a blessing.

Nonnie

14-10-2005, 07:25 PM

It is your duty to celebrate all that is good, in people, food and leisurewear.

Rules of Christmas

1. Thou shalt wear a Christmas jumper.

2. Thou shalt watch inane repeats on the telly and complain loudly to family and friends.

3. Thou shalt make thyself sick on sweeties.

4. Thou shalt eat more Christmas pudding than is good for thou.

5. Thou shalt pat thy belly after.

6. Men - They shall be given socks unto them and perhaps a pair of pants from M & S.

7. Women - They shall be given toiletries from Superdrug that don't actually smell so good but it's thought that counts.

Paranoid Dave

14-10-2005, 07:34 PM

are you trying to excite me or make me fear it even more?

Mark Walker

14-10-2005, 08:06 PM

I Love Christmas......but I'm like a big kid....well a fat one anyway.....mind you this christmas will be even better as I am expecting (well my wife is expecting) our firs baby on 20th December.......mmmmmm Christmas Day could be good!

bigredduke

14-10-2005, 08:22 PM

My eldest daughter's (I have 2) birthday is 15th December (11 this year - nearly a teenager oh god!). in our house that is the starting pistol for tree, decorations and associated house bling to be randomly scattered all points of the compass. My wife's usual good taste (I was an abhoration (sic) (certainly as far as my mother-in-law is concerned)) is suspended for the period.

I absolutely bloody hate it and can't wait for January 1st when the whole poxy, tasteless, overcommercialised load of crap is consigned to the loft for another year.

ps my favourite TV programme is 'Grumpy Old Men' - there's just so much to agree with!

Ducati Monster - where the spending never stops!

Pugi

14-10-2005, 08:34 PM

I'm with Dave and bigredduke on this one. I still get free for christmas, but what good is that? I actually rather work to get away from all the frantic people (if I got paid I'd get more money too). Hell on earth is to buy christmas presents and having to visit shops in December, full of hysteria, to do so. Can't get people anything anyway...they have it all unless it's well out of price range.

Bah...I could go Hindu for less. As if anyone remembers anymore why we celebrate christmas in the first place anyway. Silence, prayer and thinking of others my arse.

Paranoid Dave

14-10-2005, 09:44 PM

three blokes in need of a holiday, probably pissed decided it would be a giggle to follow a star, like they could keep up with the earths movement and so know where the hell they were headed during the day, my guess is the pub.
Finally to hammered to walk anymore they got lashed up some more and crashed in a barn rather than face the B&B landlady at 4am in the morning, after some comedy impressions and humerous positions with the animals already in the barn they realise some woman had just dropped one (not in a didge way) and figured it would be polite to offer whatever they had on them as a gift by way of apology for barging in and giggling at her naughty bits.
After some discussion it was suggested they all give something, a ring of gold was a good idea as it was the only incriminating evidence at the pub fight on the way so best lose it anyway, some spices and smelly bits as per normal (eh nonnie) and that was good enough for them.
Apparently the bloke went on to do quite well, probably set up a branch of bodyshop and started a chav craze, but good for him. So over the festive season should you get some tat from argos and a bit of smelly, you know its all tradition and we have three lashed up tourists to thank.

walkingpictures

14-10-2005, 11:55 PM

Bollox to Christmas,I f*****g hate it,bah effing humbug,ain't no fun for us single people....................

Little Monster

15-10-2005, 01:19 AM

I booked the yuletide off today and when quizzed by mein fuhrer re 'cover' my reply of 'I have a mobile phone and a laptop which make a few hundred miles meaningless' seemed to do the trick - hurrah - who says they'll be switched on?? :twisted: .......PLUS who in their right mind will ring me and expect sense and possibly legal advice anyway between xmas and new year???! Pass me my glassed of the mulled stuff and get me some good chuffing pressies this year or I'm on strike!

bigredduke

15-10-2005, 10:08 AM

Things I hate about Christmas (in no particular order): :mad:

It starts far too early
Q How can you tell it's Christmas?
A Easter eggs in Woolies

It goes on far too long

It's in Winter when I don't ride my bike

Horrible cheesy music in every shop, petrol station, pub & restaurant (the 'traditional' offerings by Slade & BandAid being particularly nauseating)

Dire repeats of 'Christmas Specials' on TV

Christmas cards from work colleagues who see you every day (what is the point???)

Aged tinsel around computer monitors in the sad belief that it 'looks festive'

People urging you to 'get in the Christmas Spirit' and when you refuse calling you a 'miserable bugger'

Any Christmas decorations of any description

People wearing 'Santa Hats'

Things I like about Christmas :)

Time off work

My daughter's faces on Christmas morning

When it's over

Nonnie

15-10-2005, 01:11 PM

I am sticking to my guns (festive ones at that) on this.

Things I love about Christmas

All the preparation it takes. I love shopping for things I know people want/need/would like. I love wrapping them up after. I love putting the tree up (it's the 1st december here folks). I love all the tacky lights and the tinsel and the little ornaments I have collected over the years (I can tell you where each of them came from), I love setting up my little Nativity scene, I love getting it all ready, I love the cooking involved, it's an excuse to go completely overboard and buy food I wouldn't usually coz it's pricey but no matter, it's a special occasion, I love staying up late Christmas Eve with the carols on the TV, drinking a nice wine or Baileys and putting all the kids presents together and then wrapping them, I love pretending to be Father Christmas having eaten a little bit of the mince pie left out for him and the carrots for the reindeer and putting a small bit of cotton wool on the glass of milk so it looks like he left some of his beard behind. I love the sound of bells and seriously, I love Christmas carols. I love the atmosphere in the shops and the excitement of it all. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's a wonderful time of the year, you can have a nice cosy house and it can be snowing and really cold outside but you can smell the good food cooking and look at the presents.

I guess you all think I'm completely crackers. Surely I am not alone...

Things I hate about Christmas

When it's over for another year

stuartg

15-10-2005, 01:19 PM

PD. I think your fantastic !!!!!!!!!!!

I have had a really bad week, I'm depressed, unloved, no job, no money. I'm about to be evicted from my house and my 9 children going into care. My dogs just swallowed the keys to my monnie. My wifes been having an affair for 3 years with the next door neighbour and I've found out that my 2 youngest aren't actually mine.

However I read your threads and I feel like the luckiest man alive.
Thanks Dave

sjr999r

15-10-2005, 01:33 PM

i work for Royal Mail,as a night driver,i will finish xmas eve morning and back in Boxing day nite,merry xmas

CK & AK

15-10-2005, 02:46 PM

Things I like about xmas

Lots of grub & booze (we usually hold off the booze till xmas afternoon, when bikes back in the garage)

at least a couple of days off with my hubbie

mates (usually single ones) round to play scalextric/ playstation etc & scoff xmas dinner etc. (often bringing their sleeping bags too :rolleyes: :D )

Family 'blatt' on our bikes for at least an hour (more if poss) on xmas morning - no coppers & not much traffic, all whilst turkey is cooking.

Wot I Dont like

Err, serving up a roastie 'properly' - they can have each bit as its done this year :twisted:

It being stupidly wet or snowy to ride my bike when not at work :(

waiting for AK to wash up..... in a minute.. in a minute.. :mad:

C :burnout:

Paranoid Dave

15-10-2005, 03:29 PM

Things I Like About Christmas

open fire (wish i had one)

cold dark evenings

the sound of the salvation army playing on the street corner

snow, fat chance eh

Things I Don't Like About Christmas

alcohol,

finding a suitable card for my dad, he's not a womaniser, doesnt drink large amounts of beer, like fast cars or play golf. so thats 99.9% of all cards out the question

christmas dinner. I opt for a fry up instead.

presents i dont want from people i wish hadn't sent them, "what the hell am i going to do with... oh it's lovely thankyou" :confused:

not having enough time off work, and not knowing what to do with the time off i have got

Family gatherings of any kind, turning up to a relatives only to find there are more than expected, "so nice to see you again, who are you, i thought you were dead"

being woken up by my dad at 6.00am with a text like last year, he was in austria and forgot about time zones. Great!

'parties' that work try to organise, best avoided at all costs.

cards from relatives, who are these people, and why after 8 years are they still talking to me when i cant even remember who they are or where they live, i think they are cousins and just because they have a family they want to share the joy, maybe i'll shock them this year and actually send one back or even worse, take it out of the envelope rather than leave it with the rest of the 'generic family' cards piling up on the table along side the ones from work.

christmas TV, the lack of any effort from producers and chanels to create something good rather than just a 'special' featuring celebries i try not to watch.

dodgy music, has there been a real 'christmas song' released in the last few years, and cliff richard does not count!

waking up on my own, nuff said

the money i have to spend despite trying not to oh so hard

wandering around the town trying to find a suitable gift that wont cause a look of confusion of a "WTF" type reaction of some kind. I find 'dropping them off' a few days before as I'm 'busy' on christmas day works well as a particularly naff present can be given on grounds you are not there when its opened to see the confusion or hear the "WTF" reaction.

nasty decorations, tinsel is banned, but then decorations rarely see the light in my flat. Although i uesd to put buzz lightyear on top of the tree and even made a fairy dress for him :D

boxing day - its like christmas day only the exitement is just a little less.

Oooh I can't wait.

CK & AK

15-10-2005, 03:55 PM

but then decorations rarely see the light in my flat. .

does anything, when you are on 'creative' mode PD? :D :D

space on sofa for insulting day or so at the 'seasonal' time, if you want mate :D but I am NOT doing a VEGGIE meal - you can do that - after all, you are 'sort-of' family :lol:

oh, and you wouldnt need to bring me a pressie :D

Paranoid Dave

15-10-2005, 04:15 PM

so kind thanks ck, i dont mind pressies for friends, the people you choose to like, its just the forced family stuff that annoys me. See you soon i hope
x

Scotty

15-10-2005, 05:19 PM

thats why they all get chocolates
generic present thats always welcome and easy if a tad expensive all in one 'shopping trip'
humm if i did it this month i might miss the christmass rush

Nonnie

15-10-2005, 07:56 PM

space on sofa for insulting day or so at the 'seasonal' time, if you want mate :D oh, and you wouldnt need to bring me a pressie :D

Hehehehehehe there is a God after all. Thought I was going to have to entertain the miserable fecker! And yes you'd have to bring me a seriously blinging present

xx

BlueHaze

16-10-2005, 05:53 PM

I agree that Christmas is a bit overrated but it does give you the opportunity to snog that bird from personnel with the big duds ;)

bigredduke

16-10-2005, 06:12 PM

Snogging birds is probably not a good idea at the moment!

steviej

16-10-2005, 06:33 PM

F**K ME.............................

PD, why don't you invite Bigredduke round and have a bit of a do....................you could have a mega fry up and a couple o' cans o' pop!!

Seriously though, whatever you do have a gudden!!!
(My god, is it only October, who started this Yuletide thread anyway ;))

Paranoid Dave

16-10-2005, 08:26 PM

I agree that Christmas is a bit overrated but it does give you the opportunity to snog that bird from personnel with the big duds ;)

there are 3 ladies of that department where i work and i wouldn't touch any of them.
and the chances of getting my hands on anything resembling a dud are very slim.

BlueHaze

16-10-2005, 09:25 PM

there are 3 ladies of that department where i work and i wouldn't touch any of them.
and the chances of getting my hands on anything resembling a dud are very slim.

In the cold, sober light of day perhaps, but after a few liberating bevvies and enveloped in the warmth of Christmas cheer you may find that your normal standards become considerably relaxed.

If anyone questions your actions the following day/week and to ease your own conscience just quote the following phrase:
"to fully appreciate good, you must have experienced bad"

A Yerbury

16-10-2005, 09:29 PM

furnish us with some upskirts please Davey, occasionally a 2nd opinion can help with such matters.

Alex Beatle.

ps.New Year? WTF's that all about then?

Paranoid Dave

16-10-2005, 10:09 PM

blue, you forget i dont drink and as for festive cheer... and if you read my hates you'll see i avoid work's do's

Phoenix

17-10-2005, 07:13 PM

erm....., yeh

I love xmas too so ner :p

remo6966

17-10-2005, 07:54 PM

It amazes me how more and more people are becoming uneffectualized by christmas and yet do nothing about it, like tell everyone around them to just sod off and stop ramming their choice to celebrate down your throat.
I've not celebrated it for years, saves me a bloody fortune.
I have 4 teenagers who want for nothing and have never been palmed off with, "we'll have to see what Santa brings". When I give a gift people know it's because I want too. Not because I feel obliged by the time of year. I'm sure they appreciate that a lot more. I don't miss getting aftershave I'll never wear, or amusing socks that stay in the cupboard unless I'm mega desperate because the sock pixie that is a seventeen year old son has knicked all the others.
As for office parties, everyone goes off getting full of turkey while I provide the office cover, then get the time back to do with as I want. Sweet. ;)

You do know more people commit suicide at this time year than any other?
People still get sick and die.
Not everyone as someone to share it all with, the elderly, the single, the divorced. Its great promoting family togetherness but in a country where split families are the norm rather than the exception its no wonder people are going off the idea. Don't suppose the rampant commericialisation helps any. BHS in Nottingham have had christmas junk in for the past month already.

Christmas is like drugs...Just say NO! :lol:

Plum

17-10-2005, 08:55 PM

Well i used to hate crimbo as it was never the same after my mum died. Since meeting my now wife 7 years ago, they actually felt a bit better. The down side to it is its the wifes birthday on crimbo day, so it doesnt always feel special for her. That said, Lani has just turned 3, and last crimbo was awesome. 'Father Christmas' left a snowy foot print trail to the carrot, mince pie and tin of beer left for their consumption, then another snowy trail to the pressies.

Some things just cant be bought and Lani's face on crimbo day is one of them! Christmas is now more enjoyable. Shame she is not a little angel for the other 364 days of the year

BoozyBOB

17-10-2005, 11:49 PM

Plum enjoy it when they are young ...(oo thats poetic )..
i am sure PD was young once and enjoyed it...but i am with him now........BAA HUMBUG i say you spend all that money on food you dont eat then you worry about getting fatter... the best about Christmas is boxing day i go to Scotland for 8 days..and go to the party in the park in Edinburgh for Hogmanay... :bunny:

MilesB

18-10-2005, 10:38 AM

...by going out for a ride on your Bike ;) :burnout:
The roads are empty - OK it can be a bit 'cool', but wrap up properly and you'll be able to hoon along roads you normally dawdle, stuck in traffic.

A couple of year's back we blatted off to Rye on Xmas day morning,, found a pub for a drink, then on the way back to the bikes exchanged relaxed Chrimbo greetings with Paul McCartney - who was just unloading his car :rolleyes: Susan didn't even realise who it was until we'd gotten past - I was proud :D

Miles

Mrs Soup

18-10-2005, 12:50 PM

I'm amazed that for a bunch of generally independant minded folk, everyone feels so pressured into behaving in certain way because of a calendar date.

In the same way as CK seems to have done, we have over the years managed to cut down the B***sh**t too a minimum.

Christmas is for the kids - so in our family we only do pressies for the kids.

We don't go anywhere that involves an overnight stop. We have spare beds so if people want to see us thay are all wlecome.

If there's just us we go the pub for lunch, can't stand eating turkey for weeks on end.

best thing about Christmas

Drinking champagne in the hot tub at midnight on Christmas Eve

Finishing the champagne as buck's fizz Christmas morning (also in the hot tub)

Chill out guys and stick to your guns

Paranoid Dave

18-10-2005, 04:40 PM

I'm amazed that for a bunch of generally independant minded folk, everyone feels so pressured into behaving in certain way because of a calendar date.

Thats the problem, I DONT. But my dad will ask me over one day, if i say no then he'll keep changing the date until i say yes as 'ists only right i go over one day at christmas' dont ask me why? I guess as plum can say for parents its good to be with the kids (whatever age) but for those kids they wanna have fun.
I just want to chill out and have a laugh on a day thats meant to be fun.

Miles, freezing my ass off is not my idea of fun, and on a carb'd 600 the icing wouldn't be much fun, nor would cleaning the bike afterwards in the cold as i have no garage. So a warm house is always a good idea here.

I DO love christmas as a time of year and in theory, i just hate all the imposed crap that goes with it.

A Yerbury

18-10-2005, 06:46 PM

technically carb icing won't happen in icy weather as the air molecules have frozen leaving the air "dry"....indulge me, this piece of tech talk has been buzzing around my brain sans a good home.

thanks.

AY.

mark cross

19-10-2005, 01:17 PM

I DO love christmas as a time of year and in theory, i just hate all the imposed crap that goes with it.[/QUOTE]
I agree with you to a point:
its strange that people who choose to be a bit different than the usual jap choosing fraternity feel that something is being imposed on them. Personally I love Christmas from a religious/spiritual standpoint, but also from a secular viewpoint. I choose to celebrate the way i want and dont let the bits that i dont like bother me. Any time you get time off work and the opportunity to lie in bed is to be welcomed. I love getting and giving presents, meeting friends, going to our local church for Christmas Carols. Christmas dinner with a great bottle of wine. Party nights out and in. There are bits that i dont like, the main one being "christmas music" from october onwards in shops but i just blank it out.
Make your own choice about whether or how you celebrate Christmas, but surely people with the independent thinking capable of buying a Ducati should be able to handle Christmas without feeling it is being imposed on them.
Happy Christmas

jill

19-10-2005, 02:00 PM

I agree with a couple of bods on here. For the last few years I've cut out the present buying part (apart from the few children in my family - I don't think they understand my anti-commericalist anti-religious angle!) and it makes it a fantastic time of year.

You have none of the stress and can spend your spare cash on nice food and fab wine. Buying kids presents is much more fun and you can buy them all and have them delivered from online shops!

I hadn't thought of a bike ride on Christmas morning, but I might try that too this year!

Paranoid Dave

19-10-2005, 02:26 PM

Any time you get time off work and the opportunity to lie in bed is to be welcomed. I love getting and giving presents, meeting friends, going to our local church for Christmas Carols. Christmas dinner with a great bottle of wine. Party nights out and in. There are bits that i dont like, the main one being "christmas music" from october onwards in shops but i just blank it out.

I get 2 days off, i dont go to church, dont like christmas dinner or wine and i'm not into parties. Other than that i'm with you there.