There is a small part of London that is forever.....

[Nonnie]

Biker friendly now I've sorted them out. Last night on the way home, Emily's Driver and I stopped off at the Tesco round the corner from me parents to fill up. As soon as we pulled up, the security guard pounced upon us and told us we had to pay first. Then he started wandering off shouting (i discovered he had an ear piece thingy which went someway to explain the apparent madness). I was a little confused and wasn't sure how to pay for petrol first when you don't really know how much you need especially when you never set the trip thing like me. I asked a car driver whether they had had to pay first and the answer was no. I threw down the gauntlet (well, actually my gloves) and marched off towards the shop. I asked the petrol pump operative why I had to do pay first when car drivers didn't and mentioned generally they have a petrol gauge to help them out. I was told it is because they had a biker drive off last week. Oh, says I. Right, with about 8 quid maximum then compared to the 40 odd quid a car driver can get out of them. But do the car drivers have to pay first? No! Surely the ratio of car drive offs to rider drive offs must be in favour of car drivers. I told the security guy he could have my helmet to hold if he switched the fuel on. This was not good enough, I then laughed and said, well, how about the keys then? I can't ****ing drive off then can I?
I eventually got my way and filled up and then paid but the urge to ride off was nearly overwhelming.
I wonder, have I lived in the sticks too long? Some places still have a man who will fill it up for you!

[andy pea]

It's a pain isn't it!
Same thing happened to me here recently so I just went elsewhere for fuel - Not sure if it's a Tesco policy?
I'm quite happy to take me lid off but asking for money upfront is taking the pee!

[BoozyBOB]

never had this at 'Tesco'...and only once been asked to remove my lid before payment...(the others know how ugly i am)....but as you say what will a bike rider get ..£8 max....

[Pedro]

Write to Tesco and complain, a local guy did this and got a grovelling apology.

I use our local Tesco all the time for fuel and never remove my lid or gloves and they have no problem so I guess it's a peculiar to "high risk" areas.

[JMo]

I do think that if you remove you helmet (I always do, it's only courteous) then there shouldn't be a problem...

I even had this the other day (at a Shell garage in Essex) when I was driving my diesel 4x4 with a bike trailer loaded with two bikes behind it! - like I was going to drive off in a hurry like that...

Having had to walk into the shop, to ask what exactly was the problem? I looked increadulously at the the toss-pot behind the till and said words to the effect of "Do I look like a f**king chav in a Nova?"* and stormed out...

*actually, those were my exact words...

Still, the BP on the opposite side were their usualy charming selves - and Nectar points to boot!

xxx

[slob]

A mate of mine had the same thing at a petrol station in Dudley, he used the 'how often/biker vs. chav in hot-hatch' argument and they relented, he also wrote to BP and complained bitterly, they wrote back blaming the franchisee and saying it wasn't their policy.
I was asked to pay in advance for a meal(because I was sat outside on the terrace) on my way up to the first DesmoDue round at Cadwell. I just laughed at the waitress and asked 'Have you ever seen a biker trying to leave in a hurry?... helmet, gloves, leathers, luggage etc.'

[lord vader]

mobile phones!!!
I had a jobsworth yesturday who insisted in shutting off my deisel pump everytime my collegue had a phone call!!! given that he was in the car with the doors closed and i was filling with deisel add that to the fact that we are both on call some 10 minutes passed and 3 phone calls before i got to a full tank.
I'm Led to beleive that on one occasion many years back an explosion in a petrol station was thought though not proved to be a result of one of them new fangled mobile telephone devises that resembeled a small cottage. Yet i with 10 years in the motor trade have to be told by some dribling halfwit from portsmouth that answering a mobile phone in a deisel car is DANGEROUS!
arrrrrrhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
I think a programme called Brainiac recently showed it was infinaty more DANGEROUS to wear nylon Clothes.

[steviej]

.............I think a programme called Brainiac recently showed it was infinately more DANGEROUS to wear nylon Clothes.



Yep, I remember that programme, the 'Team' placed around a dozen mobile phones in a small caravan doused with a couple o' gallons of petrol........... Nothing happened.

Then they got somebody to dance around in a nylon suit whilst the team rigged the caravan with some copper wiring, and from a safe distance Mr Nylonman poked the wire with the end of his finger.


KABOOM one less caravan to congest our roads :D

As for Petrol Station policy I'm afraid I'd take my custom elsewhere....... :p

[DesmoDog]

jobsworths - where would we be without them eh? Bless em. I love them I do, I treat them as a pressure release valve. There's nothing better than a polite discussion on exactly why they are following their chosen path. Of course, you really don't want to upset customs and excise, who I have found to be dilligent jobsworths and also are bereft of any humour. Sign of the times I suppose. Hey ho

[Mrs Soup]

I never bother with the jobsworth, my usual line is "there must be some mistake here, please call the supervisor/manager and I'm sure we can sort this out ". Usually works.

[Little Monster]

i've never had any of these problems but am looking forward to it when i do. i can never be @rsed to take my helmet off - discourteous or not - it's all too much faff and makes my ears sore!

[spacemonkey]

Ah, the old mobile phone blowing up the petrol station chestnut...

A reliable source investigated this and found not a single case worldwide of explosions caused by mobiles, but interestingly discovered something far more sinister.... It turns out that the mobile if held near the pump itself can intefere with some machines and not register as much petrol on the counter as it should. This HAS happened on many occasions, althoug I don't think it works on all machines, but this is the probable true reason, but I can't imagine motorists turning off the mobiles so that they don't get free petrol, can you? Hence the myth spread by petrol companies of exploding petrol stations.... Incidently, when I start a car or bike it produces more sparks than a mobile yet I am still alive too...

I used to go to a local Tescos near my work where i would fill the bike on a daily or so basis so was a well known customer. Never took my lid off, as it is a pain in the arse when you wear glasses and are in a hurry. Anyway, one day some old git is covering the till, and he insists I take my helmut off. I point out that I always come here and am known to them and obviously not a risk which the other assistant agrees with and that there is no sign on the door asking me to do so. No, he won't have it. I ask him if he as any idea how much hassle it is, which he replies with 'I'm a biker too' blah blah blah. No, says I, that's a C90, and that doesn't make you a biker, a motorcyclist maybe, but.... Anyway I toss the money at him and asks him to take it or leave it and that I won't be back here again and they have lost a good customer. I go to the other one now and they are hapy to take my money, helmut or not.

[A Yerbury]

If I dont take it off I will apologise then make black visor "eek! who turned out the lights" remarks with arms flailing behaviour as I stumble into pyramids of cat food or pringles, they love that. Actually I don't do that.

[Nonnie]

Alex if you did that, it would make shopping a much better experience. I may do it next time.
My favourite silly thing was when I went to Framlingham Castle. You get these big orange tape phone things that you listen to the history commentary on yes? Walking along the top of the castle wall I made the silly Nokia tune and shouted and I mean shouted "HELLO! YEAH..........FRAMLINGHAM.........YEAH........IT'S CRAP......"
Made me laugh anyway.

[A Yerbury]

Next time I am in Framlington I may just do that it sounds like a "classic"
Alex.

[Richard_S]

The Pringles stack survived, lets leave it there, move along etc

I'm with Steve, feck em all in the eye with a sharpened 2b.


ps Tesco ate my babies. Steer well clear.

[Little Monster]

If I dont take it off I will apologise then make black visor "eek! who turned out the lights" remarks with arms flailing behaviour as I stumble into pyramids of cat food or pringles, they love that. Actually I don't do that.

you should definitely do that. in fact, i need to get myself a black visor so i can do that. :D

[A Yerbury]

We should all do it together? (not that obviously but I can be bought) ....

yours falling up the stairs and probably saying "whoops"

Calamity jon.xxx

[Little Monster]

We should all do it together? (not that obviously but I can be bought) ....

yours falling up the stairs and probably saying "whoops"

Calamity jon.xxx

easy tiger!!!!

we should tho, then run off to framlingham and do the nonnie gag too.

what else? what else? :bunny: :bunny:

[A Yerbury]

There is a picture of a young Mr Sellers playing air guitar, we should all do it like that and as often as possible. I hear that koalas are quite a laugh although I am yet to be convinced. Perhaps Riiiichy has the guitar hero snap to hand?

A Prankster.xxx

[Little Monster]

There is a picture of a young Mr Sellers playing air guitar, we should all do it like that and as often as possible. I hear that koalas are quite a laugh although I am yet to be convinced. Perhaps Riiiichy has the guitar hero snap to hand?

A Prankster.xxx

'Being' Madonna complete with portable head set mic thingy (otherwise known as a bendy straw cleverly placed behind the ear) is a popular one come lock in time at my local in manc - we're crazy kids up here you know. :o

[A Yerbury]

'Being' Madonna complete with portable head set mic thingy (otherwise known as a bendy straw cleverly placed behind the ear) is a popular one come lock in time at my local in manc - we're crazy kids up here you know. :o

You all sound quite positively bonkers great mate.

[gary tompkins]

Only had one garage pull the pay first stunt on the bike, but it was in a well dodgy central London borough in the small hours. Spotted through the steel bars on the serving hatch that the bloke had a baseball bat propped against the wall next to the till, so thought 'fair play' and lobbed him a fiver for enough juice to get me home.

Another thing that always winds me up (usually my local BP), is when the place is queued out the door with punters trying to cough up for petrol, and they only have one knob end working the till. You usually find his mate has had a sudden urge to restock the fridge with Sunny Delight, or do an urgent stock take on dog biscuits - GAAAAH! :mad:

[JMo]

Another thing that always winds me up (usually my local BP), is when the place is queued out the door with punters trying to cough up for petrol, and they only have one knob end working the till. You usually find his mate has had a sudden urge to restock the fridge with Sunny Delight, or do an urgent stock take on dog biscuits - GAAAAH! :mad:

What's worse that that is the local Tesco metro filling station on the way to Bury Hill is now the village supermarket with petrol as a sideline it would seem... one old foagy behind the till serving dozens of shoppers their bread milk and newspapers, while you join the huge queue just to pay for a fiver of petrol...

Humph.

xxx

[A Yerbury]

"yeah kids today! and whats this bloody internet thing all about? I dunno...Sushi! I'll bloody sushi them... they come round ere with their ladeda "oooh just a jar of red pesto and some organic ****ake" ways... chardonnay this, marscapone that, the worlds gone mad."

[Fosse Foxfight]

some organic ****ake" ways... chardonnay this, marscapone that, the worlds gone mad."
Can ya get organic bukkake at the gas station then? :eek:

and where I buy my bloody groceries has sod all to do with you, you bloody oik with your sweat stained gloves and your swaggering gait.

[spacemonkey]

Bloody townies. Oh, and isn't it fogeys?

[Richard_S]

Can ya get organic bukkake at the gas station then?
you can if your big in Japan.

[JMo]

Bloody townies. Oh, and isn't it fogeys?

Possibly - or even fogies (like hogies?) - who knows - I don't think it's a real word anyway... personally I like the vowl sound the OA together makes...

xxx

[A Yerbury]

We all like a bit of O and A, what are hogies?

yours a bit confused?
Alex.x

[JMo]

We all like a bit of O and A, what are hogies?

yours a bit confused?
Alex.x

You are a bad bad boy Benidi ck...! (I've only just realised what I'd written x)

It's always nice to see O and A come together... x

As for "hogies", they are a sort of soft bread roll I believe - very nice for making hearty sandwiches with... I'd like to think it was a colloquial term, perhaps from Scotland?, but I fear the wrath of those inflected with such regional accents... ahem.

xxx

[A Yerbury]

I am quite a fan of hearty anything...broth, stew, ale, women and certainly sandwiches. I will have to try some.

yours with butter not marg.
Alex.x

[cgreen]

absolute bull****, just because one biker rode off was probably a nicked bike anyway with some toerag chav on it :twisted:

Personally never had a problem with my tescos but if I got that attitude I would take my custom elsewhere.

end of the day like you said its about 8-10 quid odd depending on the bike whereas cars which do this can fill up a lot more (I have a golf diesel and when empty will take £48) What they probably meant by pay first was use the "pay at pump" thing where you bung in yer card first and it "authorises" you to put in so much petrol (usually 60 quid or so max) but then if you are paying cash thats out of the window.

[A Yerbury]

too right! as you say at the end of the day some chav in a stingray is gunna ring up loads more than say a monster, it's all bs IMO. I dunt reckon it was pay first because b4 ive hada pay fisrt and it wasnt one of em that you just put yer card in! no the geezer said "pay first" so I had to pay first! :burnout:

[Richard_S]

The quintessential spearchucker moment.

Now I'm oiled, keep me from the rats etc

yours with a clean brow and an underground aquarium x

[A Yerbury]

28 days my fiend, this is no laughing matter.
Alexander_Y

ps. was that Doris earlier? she sounded different? have you changed her in some way, shape or form?

[Dave in USA]

Can't remember the last time I pumped & then paid...over here 99.9% of gas stations just have (working) card slots where you stuff your debit card in...enter your PIN number & pump away till your full, then it spits out a reciept & awwwwaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy you go :D