the philosophy of intimacy

[Richard_S]

"How much one is able to endure: distress, want, bad weather, sickness, toil, solitude. Fundamentally one can cope with everything else, born as one is to a subterranean life of struggle; one emerges again and again into the light, one experiences again and again one's golden hour of victory—and then one stands forth as one was born, unbreakable, tensed, ready for new, even harder, remoter things, like a bow that distress only serves to draw tauter"

F.Nietzsche

the man says yes btw :D

[Nonnie]

hehe welcome back

[A Yerbury]

whilst looking for a wee jpg of Freddys tache -it was a monster, I happened upon this. Perhaps a tad obvious but I know the feeling all to well.

Alex.
ps. Impressive sword by the way!

[OgriUK]

i like that picture.dont fully understand it like, but i like it.going to re-name it humungous plums and save it..

[A Yerbury]

it's like the never ending and nigh on impossible task that's like life but like a metaphor? like...and stuff.

[Moley]

I can see where you are coming from but where are you going?

[OgriUK]

damn your eyes you got four likes in!!
im off to sulk and kick my dog..

[A Yerbury]

that is the question......

[Moley]

Fix up, look sharp.
Time to start again.

[A Yerbury]

oh dear, are you one of these early bird catches the worm / chin up old bean / less bellyaching / chop chop / just a half for me please / stand tall on the quarter-deck types?

regards.
Alex.

[Moley]

Hello is just fine.

[A Yerbury]

hello and bon nuit

[Moley]

Sweet dreams

[Little Monster]

Richard. Don't misquote people. You know the true extract is as follows:

"How much one is able to endure: distress, want, bad weather, sickness, toil, solitude, Richard S's ramblings. Fundamentally one can cope with Yerbs, born as one is to a tolerant mindset; one emerges again and again after avoiding the UKMOC site, one experiences again and again one's misquotes of famous yet bonkers philosophers—and then one stands forth as one was born, unbreakable, tensed, ready for new, even harder, remoter threads from Richard S, like a bow that distress only serves to draw tauter"

love ya :bunny: :p

[A Yerbury]

I'm still no clearer as to which one of us she prefers? I think it's you Richy dear.....?

Alex.

[A Yerbury]

Correct LM he was a bit bonkers, superman indeed.......
Alex.

[Richard_S]

I actually managed to miss that the first time round (hey its life kiddo) but tbh I am very glad that it has been raised to my attention. It has strengthened an idea that I had earlier ; something along the lines of being one who likes a surprise. A play on words and a slight jab have suited my temperament very well this evening. I may stop the rain for you after all!

bonkers and conkers, jellied eels and half a packet of "real" pork leggings. that’s the way my friend.

fundamental ramble to follow...........

[Richard_S]

is LM an abbreviation for the new strain of enhanced rubber tree I keep reading about? A new fit is one thing (apparently I have lost weight) but i draw the line at predatory uses of science, period costumes involving pigeon shaped stockings and rubber hats without structure.

oh and bikes are great. obviously.

yours reading a copy of "You and your Mustang. A brief guide"

[A Yerbury]

I saw a chap the other day with some words, he laid them all out very neatly and hummed an old beatles song as he did so, I think it was "yesterday" which seemed appropriate at the time.

So it's Texas? Crazy. I shall consult the crystal balls, this is the girl at the end of the rainbow? with the grin and the flat tyre? Go west young man.

yours with a slice of breast and a bit of wing.
Alex.

[A Yerbury]

speaking of all things rubber and ill shapen I happened upon this (as one does) this fellow really is missing the point... nice floorboards though bless!

[Richard_S]

yes, sunny Austin would you believe. I still don't, but hey I did "try" to get the full three weeks. Apparently im just too crucial for the business. What with end of year, the price of chips (£2 a portion ffs), the lack of light in dark tunnels and the general depression that an onslaught of wealthed fools brings it was too tall an order. naturally, being a discreet and sober kind of a chap I left out the large comment opting instead for a small, blueberry one. I gave him the look and he said compromise with his brows. I did a bit of deep thinking (on the spot) and came back with an idea. Blinded by science he was and so shazam kabamm its leather, white pties, sunshine, Johnny c and the occasional hanging. Oh and maybe a go in Old Paso.

[A Yerbury]

On the spot insight, deep thinking and jedi tricks, nice improv, after all it's a sellers market (ouch that pun slipped in and slapped me one, sorry! I didn't mean to blow up the priests etc)

Bring back some of those longhorn car bonnet accoutrements for Boris and the Rosso one, you know it makes sense-although irony can go too far.

Regards.
Alice bands.

ps "although irony can go too far." ar hell, scratch that bad girl out and bring back the whole cow, what was I thinking....

[Richard_S]

aaa haaaa etc.

would it be fairer, all round, if perhaps you published the rest of the shoot? (honest men remember). Everyone has a photo face but that expression does no man no favour. Preferring the new found balanced view / "expletive it" I would like to explore the subject further. Either that or a spot of charades loosely based on popular "pre-millennium" disney characters?

Horns? Cows? Paddocks? Honey? Breasts? Paddling pools? Sunstroke? Flags?

wtf I ask ya. politely.

[A Yerbury]

I found it on boo demolicious, in the comedy porn section. I would post a link but the ukmoc satelite laser system would have me well over the frying pan befor you can say "tweezers"

My own work indeed! at least I would have shut the hallway door, it is not all about blue rugs and small "kitchenettes" although yours is a bit retro thus cool.

Did post millenium tension Walt get it so wrong?

Alexyz.

[Richard_S]

no silly, you misunderstand! (of all people you tart). I was not accusing you of jiggery pokery, but was merely surmising that chance would be right, and that you would probably have the techno ones stored in a folder marked "fork related technical illustrations and such". Like an empty bar and a full pint of "you certainly don’t ahem about" its all about the subterfuge.

a little bit retro? Nice Darts.

Sight may escape some but some see so generally its all good.

plan for tomorrow is a go with my lasso (don't ask) and gentile English elocution.

Yours, waiting for the invention of the reverse cowgirl Smilie.


ps I already know about that wolfenstein chap. It was all about the keys in those days. Taiters etc x

[A Yerbury]

oh dear I am all subterfuged out? perhaps a nice diagram with cross section showing the error of my ways (it's a start). The lasso sounds good, in fact very good..."lasso" hmmm I would start there before progressing to the bolas then boomerang, both of which require foreign genes to really get the best results.

yours riding the wave with eyeballs over my shoulder, like a reverse cow girly, she can simile but rarely smiles...that costs extra, a lot extra.

Alexyzymol.

[Richard_S]

extra costs? As you have asked, I can, and do, proudly put my hand on my heart and say that I have never paid good money to sit anywhere for 13hrs for the sake of the children before. however nature has spoken and the socks will not provide the heir that life generally needs and so I say 100 degrees and a camel like slurp of the chops should be embraced. truth be told she is a sweetheart and its a bit like that. I only hope for a trip to Armadillo Park.

Zymol is expensive for a reason x

[A Yerbury]

Amarillo surely? the others were too blue I am afraid but bunnykins here seems quite harmless...(filed under "starter motor woes)

[Richard_S]

the curse of the nettles. I know it well. Enough to make anyones ear lopsided.

ps. if I say Armadillo then I mean it. Seriously x

[steviej]

Took ones lemur, aka Pigmy, for a jog tonight but tripped over some thin air and fell into the 'Local'.

Got a little high on Grapevine so we decided to vacate the said emporium, at this short æon of time, all hell let loose. The proprietor plumped to harangued my mini-pre-simian-collaborator for having my pink leash too tight on which Pigmy ran amok ripping the Flock of the wallpaper (I thank the supernatural being for highlighting this chance for some new decor). I would have intervened but the sparkly leash was, alas, a tad too tight after all and my poor limbered extremities we're entangled within the blades of the ceiling 'copter, which could easily be seen in the blueish hue of my oxygen depleated phisog.

I never, ever again, made the doorstep of the cosy Monkey Puzzle Treehouse abodie thingy.............
:confused:

[steviej]

Has the spliff gone out???

[A Yerbury]

I have never trusted those helicopter fan things, a bit Edgar Allen Poe IMO and life has enough pitfalls as is. However I am quite partial to a bit of flock?!
I guess it takes all sorts eh?!

Regards.
Alex.

[CraigMac]

A big dog gave me a funny look earlier.....

[A Yerbury]

funny ha ha or funny oerr?....I am guessing the latter. Did you see that new member persons dog with the large head, that was a bit oerr.

Regards.
lexy.

[steviej]

Oi Yerbs, is that you there in your avatar blow dryin' one of the Blue Rinse Brigade....................... :eek:

[A Yerbury]

mistake to make, I have a little less hair than the fellow on the left. Aphex twin? Chris Cunningham? Bjork robot video? the playstaion girl with big eyes?upcoming horror short "Rubber Johhny"? anyway thats the fellow. He is fab.

Alex.

[bod]

Thought I have seen that somewhere (come to daddy)?

[bod]

Prefer Orbital myself....though sad departed from this this world :(

[A Yerbury]

thats the chap, he has a new one out which looks a bit horrific. All about a mutant inbred child kept looked in the cellar......nice.

[A Yerbury]

I liked them too although they were a bit noodly woodly with the one tune that everyone really remembers..oh and the crazy glasses.

Alex.

[Richard_S]

as a man with more than three aspirations to one day having a draw of the aforementioned crazy glasses I would just like to say that spectacles should be orange, counted, scrutinised but NOT weighed.

You cannot tickle a heavyhearted person and after lasts night superb performance of tchaikovsky's 6th I am generally loving it. 1 week until the reminder of the female scent and 100degree bareback.

yours with more than a hint of madness.

Mr. Bombardier 500 x

oh and Steve you may have more than one toke ; according to your lesuire of course.
We like the adventuing type more than we like tagliatelle. Ciao for now.

[A Yerbury]

It is all about the Russians.....pasta is okay as long as it is dressed correctly. I mean how expensive are salted capers, bona fide virgin juice and real mc coy anchovies these days?!

Yours with yo yo ma

not yo mamma.

Alex.

[Little Monster]

I really shouldn't try to skim read your threads after a couple of G & Ts and during the ad breaks - oh well, back to ER (us intellectuals have to rest our brains some time you know) :cool:

[bod]

Noodly woodley..have you no shame Yerbs.
Chime is the one everone remembers but there is so much more to the Orbital experience than that :D
Take one large bottle of Cab Sav,a dimly lit room,amp's wound upto full,and enjoy :cool:

[A Yerbury]

I really shouldn't try to skim read your threads after a couple of G & Ts and during the ad breaks - oh well, back to ER (us intellectuals have to rest our brains some time you know) :cool:

so as well as being small country bankruptingly sexy you can also travel through time? errr ER was on tuesday? or do you have a fancy box?

Alex.

ps sky digi box perv brains.

[Banshee]

in the nick of time...

[A Yerbury]

Could your brain manage an entire sentance Bambino? a paragraph is perhaps a tall order but these innane snippets are all a bit tiresome. There is charm and there is plain annoying...one begets affection, the other a smack.

love, kisses and chokeholds etc..
Alex.

[Little Monster]

so as well as being small country bankruptingly sexy you can also travel through time? errr ER was on tuesday? or do you have a fancy box?

Alex.

ps sky digi box perv brains.

HA HA HA HA can't beat a good box joke. :lol: small country bankruptingly sexy...err...thanks...i think.....

I do have the fancy box you speak of but i have to pay to keep it working!!! (take that Banshee!)

[Banshee]

mm yes please. ;)

[steviej]

I do have the fancy box you speak of ..........

Not seen it............................






.............................yet :eek:

[Richard_S]

paying to keep the box working leads to tears the colour of primrose. its a terrible old business.

oh and Alex bona fide virgin juice isnt cheap for a reason.

It is all about the tree top view afterall.

yours leading a life of alleged moral ambiguity x

[A Yerbury]

I am informed it is all about the big picture, not to be confused with the long view, then again it is all about the details? Do I need compound eye augmentation?

yours with snake eyes.
Alex.

ps the hair meets a bit in the middle, but in a nice way I think.

[Little Monster]

ok, ok, ok

Bansh......funny
Steviej.......funny
Alex.............funny
Richard S ............drugs? insanity? what the f was all that? Is it just me that doesn't understand? :confused:

[Banshee]

leave the man alone, he washes cars for a living and needs his heir of supremecy.. its ok im on his ignore list ;)

[Richard_S]

Richard S ............drugs? insanity?

if its a choice I'll take the latter. My body is my temple etc

funny you should say that, only a matter of hours ago I was reminded of the very same thing. snake eyes are one thing but the "rattle n' roll" upgrade pays higher dividends x

as for you......no, in fact I simply smile a simple smile and aim it in your general direction. We have Valeters at our place (we don’t sell Jaguars afterall) but again if your asking me to choose I take the Zymol over the hammer and denim kit bag. Cheers etc

[Banshee]

thought i was been ignored... xxxx

[Little Monster]

Don't be bitchy banshee. Get down on your knees and sort me floor.

Oh, what i would do for a good valet .................(OF MY CAR BANSHEE!!!!!!!!) . Think i may have to pull out the old dyson this weekend. doh!

[A Yerbury]

Don't be bitchy banshee. Get down on your knees and sort me floor.

Oh, what i would do for a good valet .................(OF MY CAR BANSHEE!!!!!!!!) . Think i may have to pull out the old dyson this weekend. doh!


wait? are you thinking of employing this crook? lock up the silver ware and the knicker drawer...

Alex.

[Richard_S]

thought i was been ignored... xxxx

you are xx

well with the use of the word dyson this one has now gone past the pale.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself etc. Your cats must have the patience of saints and a lack of the bitchiness you describe. However having just checked the notes you do have a sprinkle of something.

long john "an attractive man" x

[A Yerbury]

I know very little about hoovers so I shall refrain from making a comment bar this observation...purple and green really don't go.

Alex.

[Little Monster]

you are xx

well with the use of the word dyson this one has now gone past the pale.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself etc. Your cats must have the patience of saints and a lack of the bitchiness you describe.

long john x

ohhhhhhhhhhhh (*sobs hysterically*), i just don't understand youuuuuuuuuuuuu

I WISH i was employing Banshibles to redo my naff flooring but tradesmen are more expensive than my kind! (no, i'm not a hooker)

[A Yerbury]

tradesman? tradesmans entrance possibly..........

[Little Monster]

tradesman? tradesmans entrance possibly..........

that was a very obvious and easy gag for you Yerby. Had a few too many sherrys? I expect better of you.

[Richard_S]

sounds like one of those Vorderman moments.
one must leave something’s to the imagination.

Im now queued in the lock up dept so all being well I will have the opportunity to perform routine itinerary checks and minor vacuum repairs in the not too distant. I have added this to ensure we stay on track; dysons, desperation and a distinct lack of colour-clashes.

ps one of my colleagues insists that the title should read "Life so far, without the dogging"

woof etc x


understanding is 9/10th of the law.
I prefer the seedless and slightly sour ones. seriously.

[Little Monster]

Richard S. May i politely repeat...............[QUOTE=Little Monster]ohhhhhhhhhhhh (*sobs hysterically*), i just don't understand youuuuuuuuuuuuu

QUOTE]

[A Yerbury]

that was a very obvious and easy gag for you Yerby. Had a few too many sherrys? I expect better of you.


It was, but high wit and cunning wordplay is lost on Bambino, the fool can barely read or string a sentance together so what is the point? At least Berto had some sparkle to him and wasn't a complete pussy......

Alex.xxx

[Little Monster]

Bansh is a gem. Don't be so mean.

anyway, he's gone to bed now. if you're lucky, he'll be thinking of you and your tradesman's entrance jokes.

they really shouldn't have done away with the chat room cos if this was on there, it wouldn't be on record.

[Richard_S]

its always better to be hopelessly lost on the prairie.

the record is always there silly.

and "gems" is a word seldom used in such a poor way. for guidence pass by Tijuana.

[Little Monster]

just off to fetch the final 2 of my six pack

dont go away now.

rich. get your ass somewhere tomorrow so you can join in the ride out on sunday. You can come up here if you like and i'll lock you in the spare room with my feline friends but that's probably the longest way round it all.

[A Yerbury]

Oh it's not on record!? zoinks! I hope Banshee's not going to get too angry... some of you seem quite taken by the lovable japery and all round bum faced trousers down sillyness.....still it takes all sorts as a far more tolerant peson once observed.

Alex.xxx

[Richard_S]

that was me btw back in '79.

i would be teasing to offer a small glimmer of hope as generally I am shagged. However we never say, just like we say "yeah i'll call ya".

ps as we have established that the record is recording i never say that with a lying tongue.

[A Yerbury]

just off to fetch the final 2 of my six pack

dont go away now.

rich. get your ass somewhere tomorrow so you can join in the ride out on sunday. You can come up here if you like and i'll lock you in the spare room with my feline friends but that's probably the longest way round it all.


a lesser man would have made a pussy gag, not me though, my mind is on higer things such as "how much alcohol is in fact in grenadine?"

Alex.
ps not much.
pps not gag literally, that would be cruel.

[Little Monster]

I was once a judgmental c0w but a few 'life experiences' later and i realise that life is too short and unless someone has malice then there's no point to dislike them. Our friend is funny and kind hearted and I'm pretty sure would drop everything to help someone that's shown him even an ounce of kindness - in my opinion, those are the things that matter and that's good enough for me.

plus, i did crush his nads at the weekender for oggling my babies so I reckon i can 'handle' him. :eek:

[A Yerbury]

that was me btw back in '79.

i would be teasing to offer a small glimmer of hope as generally I am shagged. However we never say, just like we say "yeah i'll call ya".


we do occasionally say "just a minute" -it has calming properties and none of the sarcastic/irony bite assosciated with "hang on.........."

Yours with soverigns in my eyesockets.
Alex.
ps do you think that kevin bloke really is doing an H block?

[Richard_S]

slips of the lips like 2pm on Melody FM doesn't it.

it wouldnt surprise me, H always was the soft option. You should see the **** on J. You would never wake up again. no ****.

make sure you have the proper shiney ones, boatmen aren't the gentiles that they once were x

[A Yerbury]

I was once a judgmental c0w but a few 'life experiences' later and i realise that life is too short and unless someone has malice then there's no point to dislike them. Our friend is funny and kind hearted and I'm pretty sure would drop everything to help someone that's shown him even an ounce of kindness - in my opinion, those are the things that matter and that's good enough for me.

plus, i did crush his nads at the weekender for oggling my babies so I reckon i can 'handle' him. :eek:


hmm not angry just indifferent, You used to be judgemental? I used to tolerate fools but as you say life is too short and I no longer collect saddos ....Your friend is funny like a hamster falling out of its wheel, treading in dog poo, reffering to the barman as "Stout Barkeep" in a nasal voice or a dull drunkard wearing a "crazy" hat pulling whilst pulling his trousers down.

bless.
Alex.xxx

[Little Monster]

that was me btw back in '79.

i would be teasing to offer a small glimmer of hope as generally I am shagged. However we never say, just like we say "yeah i'll call ya".

ps as we have established that the record is recording i never say that with a lying tongue.


Hang on a second................I appreciate you probably don't want to appear uncool...............but..............were you even ALIVE then???????????? I'm pretty sure you are a mere whipper snapper born in the 80s ( I shudder at the thought)

[A Yerbury]

these days it's less about the shiny party shoes, bar the snakes but they don't really glow- more the well fed zymol nourished footwear.

Alex.
ps and lo, they sell it in hellfords, how local.

[Richard_S]

Classy Fluff. inspired once again. nice darts, cheeky knocks at the door and a assorted collection of ladies, some of which do smile as they ask if its for your pipe x

oh and get yourself some silk white spatz, the abserloute ticket for groovy ones although as we both know Mammoth related comfort is also high up the list.

alive as opposed to dead? stand or deliver! As you know I am 46 and 10 months. its like groundhog day but without the misguided humour. the requirement of kool kat status depleated with snow in years past. I prefer a more warm blooded animal these days I dunno one step forward, two right and then crikey you get the termite!

[A Yerbury]

You simply must give moby **** a whirl bubbles. The syntax of hang on usually goes a bit "haaaang on" one clips the on for delayed emergancy notification whilst the hang is hung like a busy man frozen in a tea-cup of formaldehyde. It's true.

As always vanilla tops the charts allthough a black pig is always a curiosity.

Alex.

[Little Monster]

You simply must give moby **** a whirl bubbles. The syntax of hang on usually goes a bit "haaaang on" one clips the on for delayed emergancy notification whilst the hang is hung like a busy man frozen in a tea-cup of formaldehyde. It's true.

As always vanilla tops the charts allthough a black pig is always a curiosity.

Alex.

Oh dear. Is it just me or is this lot just random words strung together? I really think that you and RichS have your own languange - talk about speaking in tongues. Perhaps once the beer wears off i shall understand but i doubt it! Bless ya.

when the beer runs out, i am off to bed cos gotta go to work tomorrow (boooooooooo). approx 150 centilitres left........ be warned. :(

[Little Monster]

80 cl left :eek:

[Richard_S]

the delayed emergency notification 'on' thing sounds fascinating and a poke in a good direction I concede. Whilst discussing both "emergencies" and "poke" I picked up some blend 500 earlier. did a few, loved it, had seconds and then with a look of pure curiosity had a stroke and found the chest (or rack?) of humility.

Five seconds later I glance a glance that says "eggs, women priests, books without the title '****' all feature strongly on the list of one timers"

one time for the brothers etc

too many CL's left. german ****e.

I say again "surprise". And yes it is you :burnout:

[A Yerbury]

should that not read chest of humidity? excuse me as I am a bit new to all this?

Random? Random chat? that would be daft! We just take your grandma out, jazz up whats left and remove a few predictable pro nouns. I am now going to line up my bearings and wave up some lidl horlicks. tasty.

good night young lovers everywhere.
Alex.xxx

[Little Monster]

Oh dear Richy babes.............. i swear yerbs, steviej and very few others understand you..........

the beer has run out so offline i go.

it's been.....................emotional.........

I love you all, mwoia, mwoia,

[Richard_S]

i tilt my hand crafted stetson of buffallo dreams to you sir, and just for the record, you can take a cow from a man who has none if you go for the model with "turbo boost".

and yes I did say humility x





save the last 5cl for the pillow moment!

goodnight and godbless etc

[Richard_S]

just a brief one to keep you updated on my crazy weekend capers……

I have had an impromptu "Travis Bickle" kind of a day. Yes its true, for a good six whole English hours, I had the hawk in my house. Minimised the wonk factor as best I could in my condition and then went on to enjoy 'stroking the line' meticulously and purposefully on the veranda. I found my self at ease even whilst thumbing through something heavy and so it does appear to have had at least half a purpose.

It started as a disaster, I knew I should have avoided the bathroom but I was cheated and the cutting implements were obviously possessed. One small slip led to another (I blame the choice in background ambience) and then before you could say bugger it was mohawk or die. Life is awash with these black choices.

Unfortunately I have to go outside tomorrow and so she has just come off.

I now have very little hair and the excuse to aquire a good texan shako. rough and smooth etc.

Yours humming the theme tune for Oren Ishii with a lemon twist. x

ps nobby picked up his cavallino rampante on Saturday and after activating "sport mode" we enjoyed ourselves immensibly. Apparently tomorrow its burnouts in Kinghtsbridge. Shades and cravat obligatory. Obviously I will offer guidence in the art of keeping the back wheels firmly at the back. It can be tricky business and the whole "F1" shiffter could have been a mistake. Of course you may ignore that comment as I am simply a jealous fool.

its all about the soridid stash of Zymol and the art of negotiation.

[A Yerbury]

whilst not the new black the plan seems to have come together, congrats and funny hanshakes all round -I only hope Boris does not become too peeved.

yours with a bacon sandwhich, it's a bank holiday so I am slumming it like..

Alex.

[Richard_S]

your right if it had been my 80 large it would have been Nero with Sabbia daytonas but under the circumstances we shall let him off. Somewhat surprised that you missed the irony of the sport button, perhaps the pinkie has briefly addled your tentacles?
I am nipping out for some sun cream and tweezers and possibly one or two new sweats. We do like a holiday and I always go looking for the upgrade

Yours with 395 bhp x

[A Yerbury]

don't speak to me about sport buttons, give me an egg, a spoon some sack-cloth and it's Linfords at dawn. The main reason I was late yesterday was nostril hair, 2 weeks on site and I had gone a bit castaway (not like ms Peel either...) all sorted, stage two involves little henry, we did have a kirby but unlike the zymol the yanks couldnt cut it..

yours with 51.9 bhp and some stickers.

Alex.x

[Richard_S]

well you were right about my moody Bavarian. Wont start, wont fire and all I get is a ne nor noise reminiscent of alarm bells of a previous life. I had no idea Boris was alarmed until now but this morning he is not a happy german chap.

I even washed him yesterday and so there can be no weight to the deprived / long in the tooth argument. The AA told me to feck off as I am not 3/4 of a mile away from home, and despite my hardy offer of a push apparently its all about the cover expansion. Curses.

[A Yerbury]

Coax the old corporate bruiser into life with an alluring LED ripspeed gear-knob in faux billet, the shock alone should get his juices flowing?


Best wishes
Alex.

[Richard_S]

Boris can stay in hell for the time being as Isabella is now on her way.

I may push him up the road a little later and use my cunning powers on the ever so polite yet bureaucratic Automobile Association. I will be on hand to provide slaps at appropriate moments and when asked, deny all knowledge of the locality.

yours crossing swords with the establishment x

[A Yerbury]

I was once given a nice pull by an Isobella, a plan hatched? yes, it is absurd but then most things are.

drive safely and let me know how one scores on the fanny magnet-o-meter.

I am now going to paint a wall.

Alex

[Richard_S]

well it is on the verge of giving me goose bumps ; I have tried to ignore the wobble factor and embrace the "perhaps she just cant talk" ouchy mentality spike but I am vaguely twitchy. I could just be being a girl (we all have days off) but the trip could well turn into something completely different at this rate.

Worst case scenario I head into Vegas for some cheap liquor and playful disco bunnies. I'm flying in 48hrs (the sequel would also be worse) and so, hey, plenty of time to make some sort of plan, however how half-****ed.
What is it about girls? Terrible business all round but I already knew that. Perhaps its simply a blind panic inducing dominatrix tactic. Either that or I am indeed kippered. Plan B includes tents, wack crystal and an elephant gun. Id like to blame Mr Y-dA for this latest "odd" decision but he was right. Im sure at some point I will know that. Best not too look silly until it clicks.

being a generally clumsy kind of guy, I managed to misdial the first time round and had a rather prickly interlude with another Texan girl. Obviously I acknowledged and then thanked the man, put my J-irons esq. hat on and gave her a bit of love. It was a moment despite the long distance rate. It seems that self induced incompetence comes at 6p p/mintute in the dusky hours and so once again we find a buffer however flimsy.

so there we go. It could be a world of pain or it could be pleasant. I am packing for either eventuality. We kiss the air and mosey on by either way, one just hopes for fortune and some shelter and a couple of cheeky ribs.

yours with a situation x



ps Postcards are on standby. Quills packed however.



ppss Alyssa if your reading this please be assured that I am as "cool as ice" and NOT a big softie. More importantly though pick up the phone......or move. I’m coming and this could be your only chance. Seriously.

[A Yerbury]

when spiders hatch they throw out a web and just let nature run its random course, these days Virgin has nintendos on the pews so we must be doing something right. 6p sounds very reasonable ? please forward his number for when the days shorten and the horlicks is not quite enough.

I think the tent is a wise move, and lots of big guns obviously, failing that Mr Fodder lives probably 10 hours greyhound away and has a swimming pool?
Provided the Englishmen abroad approach is adhered to I do not forsee too many hiccups? Any more travel guide tips needed simply attach a "post-it" to a fresh hatchling, I shall be watching the skies for the usual thunder claps and balloons in need of adoption.

Yours with the keys to the safe and off to score a "jack up kit"
Alex.

ps.your monkey suit "rocks" as they say.
pps.Alyssa if you are reading this, he has changed! so pick up the phone bitch.

[Richard_S]

well we can all take our seats again, I am red faced and generally doing a camel.
Just rung and hey bosh she says "black or white?". Excuse my repeated absence this evening, I will be mostly practicing the "reverse monkey" and sipping cognac. Stand clear King Don is only 5,533 miles away. Texas time on toast.

I say show me the hot tub, give me the look and teach me how the mustang is ridden.

bravado aside I am actually ****ing loving it! Seriously

[A Yerbury]

Looks like she read the post ye of little faith, I don't have much to do. but when I do. I do it well. We had a small person at work today, quite rude in fact so the little tinker slotted right in and his cutting in was.. pretty good for a six year old.. no doubt paid in full with a bag of haribo and a cuff round the lug holes. I think that now I have atmospherically absorbed 7 lb's of pollyfiller and a gallon of "moroccon bliss" emulsion thus saving a pretty penny on fake tan and acid peels.

have a nice time and bring me back something dead and shoe-shaped. Naturally the children will miss your claws against the window and the cellar will look quite bare for a couple of weeks but what's fourteen days between chums eh?

Yours with a dog, with a weight problem, with a quiff.....photos to follow. Promise.

Alex.
ps. once more it's all about the red, black and white...cheers.
pps. edited due to not being able to spell moroccan..I can now obviously.

[Richard_S]

your right hootieman, GP insignia is certainly not cricket but atleast the mammary frontage is generally respectable. I would etc.

One must embrace some occasional crazy-knitted compromise - and yes that does include me. Apparently the hand stitched tribal bedspread is being valeted in a remote sweatshop, south by south west of Dallas presently and will be unavailable for the duration. From what I’m told its all got something to do with a slightly worn buffalo motif. It must be a chick thing? As a proper chap, I simply took a proper breath and calmly quipped that we would just make do with the Persian silk stand-ins. Like the Murphy’s I'm seldom bitter and always go bug-eyed in a sweetcorn relish fashion (as you know it IS all about the giant disneyland) at the opportunity to get deep, down, dirty and wildly flexible whilst adjusting the shade of my slumber.

yours with a dozen red sunflowers, a well thumbed 'Daily Texan' puzzle book and a hand blended
pineapple / coconut juice surprise. (bendy straw and kittens included)

Yee-Haa etc x

[DesmoDog]

A big dog gave me a funny look earlier.....

As I was no where to be seen at this time I can only assume that you're talking about a big dog in the rapper stylee. Such looks should be avoided as what you consider "funny" can probably be interpreted as "I'm going to kick yo lilly ass" - worse still, he could be that little skinny bloke of Radio 1 fame, who shouts a lot after 9 on a Saturday night. If it's him you might get wounded in the crossfire.

Soooo nice to see lively debate once again.

Is it time to watch a Bergman film yet?

[CraigMac]

I am familier with that chap on Radio 1, is his name Westworld?....anyway, he shouts quite a lot, as do most of his guests who also make up rhymes to backing tracks.......some of them are quite rude!!!
I get the distinct impression that most of these chaps are into gardening and gardening equipment, as they keep on mentioning "Hoes" or is it "Hose"....They seem to have a lot of issues with "Weed"....every commercial growers nightmare!!
My way of dealing with weed is a liberal dose of Mulch around the base of each plant...works wonders!!
I recommend "John Innes No3" a great allround compost.....

Desmodog, no it wasnt you....this was a real dog and had a very strange look about it.

Regards

[DesmoDog]

Well if it was a real dog with a strange look about it are you sure it was indeed a dog? Do you live in the city? Perhaps it was something else, like if it has horns it could be a cow - that would look strange if you thought it was a dog. In the country they have loads of things that have four legs (sometimes less, but that's another story) and aren't canine. Failing that, stay off the Romulan beer.

[CraigMac]

Desmo,
Hartford is bit of an inner city ghetto, but in the country....sort of.....
We had a spate of "Tagging" incidents recently, when a number of the Weaverham crew, well two of them to be precise, came onto the Hartford turf and "scripted" the bus stop......fortunatly it was in chalk and washed off in the rain, Im glad to say that the Hartford gangstaz have not been up for reprisals.......as yet.....
My eldest son keeps me informed of whats happening on the "Streets".......

Re the Big dog, it was standing in a field and now you mention it, it did have horns, which reminds me......Robert Deniro has just signed up to play the lead role in the life of Harold Shipman......Im led to believe that the title of this epic is going to be "The Old Deer Hunter".......
By the way Romulan beer tastes out of this world.......

Regards...

[steviej]

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