Just a thought.....

[Bob Dixon]

I wonder if the forum might call upon the services of two of its most valued members, Craigmac and Nik the Brief to offer motoring related legal advice to the forum . Perhaps Nik and Craig would be prepared to provide a pro bono service to the members [although personally I can`t stand U2]. I 'm sure that Nik is well qualified in this area and I know that Craig has done jam butty service in a previous life.
Perhaps I can start the ball rolling;
Normally when riding my bike I limit my drinking to 5 or 6 pints of 'driving' lager such as Carling or Fosters [unless its a Fridayof course]. What would happen if say, hypothetically, a mate confused the round and ended up buying you a few pints of full-fat Stella for you in error. Whilst you might wallow for a short while in the pecunary advantage you had gained , you might be smiling on the other side of your face as you blow into the policemans bag.
Would your mate's mistake stand up as a defence in court? Please advise.
Also,has anybody ever blown into a policemans bag and what does it taste like?
:confused: :confused:

[dean]

I have been brethalised twice, the police do not have bags, they have boxes. The boxes taste sterile and a bit like bazooka bubblegum. Both times i have had five pints of lager. On the first occasion it was castlemaine, second heineken (this was ten years ago long before heineken upped the ante from 3.5% to 5%)

Both times i was borderline and let go by the plod. I promptly visited both establishments that i had been drinking and questioned the landlords on whether they had been watering down their lager.

does anybody think i might have a case here?

[CraigMac]

Bob,
Why would you be asking advice from Nick the Brief....
Nick owns a chain shops selling ladies foundation wear, but started off the business with the basic knickers and a market stall!!
Hence the name "Nick the Brief"
Your mate is up a brown creek with no means of propulsion....He's looking at a stretch...up at the big house...Hey if you cant, do the time, dont do the crime....Dont drink and drive...clunk click every trip...
Id love to help...but this type of advice costs....Tell your mate to contact me with his bank details...


Dean a normal case consists of 24, unless its one of those Bargain ones containing only 20....which I think a very bad value for money...I always work it out on how much it is per litre...
Regards.

[Bob Dixon]

I have been brethalised twice, the police do not have bags, they have boxes. The boxes taste sterile and a bit like bazooka bubblegum. Both times i have had five pints of lager. On the first occasion it was castlemaine, second heineken (this was ten years ago long before heineken upped the ante from 3.5% to 5%)

Both times i was borderline and let go by the plod. I promptly visited both establishments that i had been drinking and questioned the landlords on whether they had been watering down their lager.

does anybody think i might have a case here?

Dean ,
I would think that you most definitely have a case for trading standards. I would be well pissed off if I had had half a gallon and didn`t test positive. Instead of hounding innocent bikers the police should spend their time cracking down on these rip-off landlords.
Interesting point you make about having to blow into the officer's box, presumably you must have been stopped by WPCs

[CraigMac]

Bob,
You used the term "Pro Bono"
We all know that Cher is an active biker, riding around the streets of Hollywood dressed in her leather chaps with her arse on display!
But the girls still greiving over the untimely demise of her ex husband and one time singing partner, Sonny.
Im certain that she frequents this board and im concerned that you might have offended her with your inference to wheather or not we are pro or anti Bono....The guy had a great career in stateside politics, cant we just leave it that...This is not a political forum.
Your ultra left wing veiws will not be tolerated here!!
Regards..

[nik_the_brief]

Bob - first things first, change your drinking habits. Lager is for girls. It’s the Perrier of the beer world, low priced fizzy water don’t touch the stuff. As for water I’d avoid that too as fish are known to fornicate in it. Guinness is the drink of choice for the educated driver since it’s known to be a ‘meal in itself’.

It is, of course, a well-established scientific fact that eating a heavy meal before or whilst drinking dramatically reduces the debilitating effects of alcohol on the human body. Drinking only Guinness which combines alcohol with food must therefore be totally harmless and have no effect whatsoever on your riding abilities. If you’re pulled by the fuzz blame any positive reading on the breathalyser on your chronic halitosis.

Craig – only very few people know that I am in ladies lingerie it’s very hard for the casual observer to notice when you’re wearing leathers. I’m pretty sure that they suspect it when I’m in a business suit though as apparently it’s de rigeur for most lawyers like the one I pretend to be…

As for pro bono work - I don't do anything if the only offer of remuneration is a couple of dog biscuits.

[Bob Dixon]

Bob,
You used the term "Pro Bono"
We all know that Cher is an active biker, riding around the streets of Hollywood dressed in her leather chaps with her arse on display!
But the girls still greiving over the untimely demise of her ex husband and one time singing partner, Sonny.
Im certain that she frequents this board and im concerned that you might have offended her with your inference to wheather or not we are pro or anti Bono....The guy had a great career in stateside politics, cant we just leave it that...This is not a political forum.
Your ultra left wing veiws will not be tolerated here!!
Regards..

Did I say pro bono? I meant to say pro bonio [but Nik beat me to it], I am apolitical and therefore have no particular political axe to grind, particlarly with fascist, Thatcher-loving ex-filth. I am merely a dog food enthusiast and I bought the gun from Walmart.

[Bob Dixon]

[QUOTE=nik_the_brief]Bob - first things first, change your drinking habits. Lager is for girls. It’s the Perrier of the beer world, low priced fizzy water don’t touch the stuff. As for water I’d avoid that too as fish are known to fornicate in it. Guinness is the drink of choice for the educated driver since it’s known to be a ‘meal in itself’.

Good advice Nik, gratefully recieved. However if I wanted a meal in a glass I`d put some fish and chips in a pint pot, or get a mug of Complan. The Guinness we get over here is faux Guinness because it has had all the goodness pastuerised out of it. Guinness in Dublin is unsullied by such processes and is full of health. It is indeed a meal in a glass, particulary if you`ve just vomited some soda bread and white pudding into it.
Would you and Craig kindly post your nightime contact numbers on the list? If I get a tug from the old bill over the weekend I need to know where I can get hold of you so you can post bail. I`m sure that kid won`t be able to keep his mouth shut............Can somebody tell when exactly does 'no' mean 'no' and not 'yes'? I get confused sometimes......

[dean]

i personally am neither pro or anti bono.

I do have an anti dorothy though. she's not political in the slightest, least not to my knowledge...

maybe i should post one of the spies on stakeout there for a few weeks just to make sure.

[CraigMac]

Bob,
I thought that your anarchist tendencies and loony left rantings would have subsided by now. We both know that your "Pro Bonio" leanings are just a cover for membership of A.L.F..
You also seem to know a lot about soda bread, white pudding and the black stuff....spent some time over the water??.....training courses???
As you know, Dean, his kids and myself have been carrying out a number of covert ops and your activities do not come as surprize to us....
We have found the hidden messege in all your posts....surprized!! You shouldnt be....your dealing with a crack team here.

We have all been there, its confusing.. does no mean yes or yes mean no...The eyes will tell you the truth...but dont let it ruin your life...

[nik_the_brief]

The Guinness we get over here is faux Guinness because it has had all the goodness pastuerised out of it. Guinness in Dublin is unsullied by such processes and is full of health. It is indeed a meal in a glass, particulary if you`ve just vomited some soda bread and white pudding into it.


Fair point that's why I married a Dubliner - the perfect excuse to go over to Dublin at least once a year on pilgrimage to the Gravity Bar to drink enough of the black stuff to turn my s_hite black. That and to eat King crisps and drink vodka and red lemonade. White pudding -mmmm a meal that's almost a drink (if you cook it wrong!)

[dean]

Nik

it's interesting to hear of your union with a member of the dubliners.Which one was it?

I always wanted to marry one of the corrs but my wife wouldnt let me

[nik_the_brief]

It was the late great Luke Kelly, a lovely bloke but such a ticklish beard.

I take it that you were after that fine band member Jim Corr, well apparently he's already taken.

[dean]

It was the late great Luke Kelly, a lovely bloke but such a ticklish beard.

I take it that you were after that fine band member Jim Corr, well apparently he's already taken.

Ratbag. what about the chieftans, any of them single?

[CraigMac]

Im led to believe that Shane Mcgowan is running free at the moment, but I fear that he is not inclined for a "Stroll up Bournville Boulevarde"
Just a thought!

[CraigMac]

It was the late great Luke Kelly, a lovely bloke but such a ticklish beard.

I take it that you were after that fine band member Jim Corr, well apparently he's already taken.

Nick,
Dont you mean Jim Kerr,of Simple Minds fame and Ex hubby of Patsy Kensit, He'd be quite a catch!
Even though he looks like someone has set his head on fire and then someone else has come along and tried to put it out with the edge of a spade!!
Regards

[Bob Dixon]

Patsy Kensit eh?
From Bruce Willis in Lethal Weapon, through to Liam Gallagher and finally on to Seth Armstrong in Emmerdale. She'll be hanging out of Rab Nesbitt next.......