Bobs been pulled off!?

[A Yerbury]

Hmmm it seems that the "Banned" post has indeed lived up to its name!! the irony of it all eh!? It does seem vulager to continue under the "writ large" slogan of "humour" Here be punchlines and all that, but when in Rome...beat up the romans etc..So if anyone can think of any Common Bonds, Hip Hop poly media cross plugs or multi platform marketing oportunities involving former members of the Happy Mondays then stick them up here. None of your "carbon fibre chat" please mr Dixon lest you blind us with your science.
Alex.x

[dean]

I too was a little boy lost this morning when i visited my favourite web forum, eagerly searching for the banned thread to see what juicy morcels where left while i'd been away on covert garden surveillance overnight. I think that the original purpose of the post (what was channel 4's three most taboo pieces of TV) had been somewhat diluted in to jocular banter about obscure accounting practices and various cooking tips using carbon fibre (good for the digestive system , i'm told)

There's irony here, but i'm blowed if i cant spot it.

[CraigMac]

Its a bit like switching over from BBC2 to chanel 5, but I'll give it a go go!
I feel, i'm coming over all romany.....having to pitch up here.....These surroundings are a bit different.....
Ive got some spare Tarmac left over from a big job in random chat!!

[dean]

so, does this mean that because this is not in random chat, then we can say the same things without being taken to task etc?

[SAMMYE]

My thread is still up! Feel free to post any information that we might not know about you :D :D but no silly talk now!

[CraigMac]

I dont want to say the same things...I dont want to say the same things. Its like repeating things....in fact theres a lot of it about...

[Banshee]

Never stayed on that long as you know, so this is what it looks like, are you going to put up posters of that cuban bloke?

[SAMMYE]

Never stayed on that long as you know, so this is what it looks like, are you going to put up posters of that cuban bloke?


tee hee :D Jodie Marsh would be better

[A Yerbury]

Never stayed on that long as you know, so this is what it looks like, are you going to put up posters of that cuban bloke?

alas no, its a che free zone but top points for spotting a cliche moment, we do however put up with suburban blokes so feel free to swan about a bit. Craig it does seem a bit strange this Humour zone, although perhaps more akin to flipping over from tiswas to swap shop just as ones parents enter the room. Im off to beat some snotty nosed kids and have a **** under some tauplaulin. Heres a custard pie in your eye.
AY.
ps there is no need to use these :lol: :lol: things boys, we are all men here and comedy is a serious business.

[A Yerbury]

so, does this mean that because this is not in random chat, then we can say the same things without being taken to task etc?

hmmm the balls are in your proverbials dean, I suggest scouting the perimeter fence with a few nob gags first, A 24 ban is not a pleasant thing -despite being pulled off by a frenchman for 24 hours neither Craig or myself had sex with that marsupial- although it did force me to be a bit more constructive with my time....Forged french driving documents anyone? (I'm joking)
Alex.xyz

[SAMMYE]

ps there is no need to use these :lol: :lol: things boys, we are all men here and comedy is a serious business.

:( :mad: :rolleyes: ok ok not promising but I will give it a go! maybe if you used them a bit more you wouldnt be so misunderstood

[CraigMac]

Ohhh..I still feel a bit strange in here.....Im getting urges to tell St Bernard of Manning type gags.......My Mother in law was so fat........

[A Yerbury]

.....hmmm well the only people who misunderstand me (and a few others) seem to be infantile berks that have dificulty understanding the subtle nuances and charms of written English unless they are presented with multicoloured cartoons and telly tubby speak? How tragic. The fact that I may not appear on some peoples christmas card lists bothers me not one jot, as shhhhh!!!! I have to whisper this sam come closer............."They dont sound very interesting" So by not using smilers it's a handy way of seperating the wheat from the chav, sorry "chaff"
Alex.
ps. however I have noticed some people using them as pacifiers/disclaimers HMMM crafty eh!? so for all the whingers out there please think of this as a nice big fat lolly pop in the gob to keep your collective mouths shut :D

[A Yerbury]

Ohhh..I still feel a bit strange in here.....Im getting urges to tell St Bernard of Manning type gags.......My Mother in law was so fat........

there there, relax craig, I am sure that nice mr "bobsequious" !*!*!*!*s on (tee hee) will be along soon to take you in hand, unless he is still fawning over RAF men in !*!*!*!*pits. I suspect the censor may have put the boot in there but you know what I mean.

[nik_the_brief]

.....hmmm well the only people who misunderstand me (and a few others) seem to be infantile berks that have dificulty understanding the subtle nuances and charms of written English unless they are presented with multicoloured cartoons and telly tubby speak?

Eh fecking oh Yerby Werby! :D

[A Yerbury]

Thank you nik, that is a bit scary! so now lets all gather round for some group sex..sorry "group hug"
Alex "call me bubbles" Yerbs.

[Banshee]

Feck off bubbles :p

[Banshee]

was thinkin of starting a book on how many posts till this thread is shut, but me thinks Terry would win.. ;) :D :rolleyes:

[CraigMac]

Chaps, has anyone seen Dean or is he still pretending to be a covert obs specialist.....thats my manor.....
I was just thinking, do you think he's a real dean and if so what university he's in charge of....No wonder the fees are so high!
Not that im bothered.....and another thing along the same lines....Has anyone got a degree....I don't possess one of those things....although I do have a ruler which is quite uniformley graduated...
Im curious....not in a rude way....just so you all know....Im happily Married..
Regards.

[nik_the_brief]

Chaps, has anyone seen Dean.....
I was just thinking, do you think he's a real dean and if so what university he's in charge of....No wonder the fees are so high!

I believe that his other half is named Pearl - they were very successful in cinema advertising for many years, even had their own catchy little theme tune... :D (for the sake of clarity)

[A Yerbury]

was thinkin of starting a book on how many posts till this thread is shut, but me thinks Terry would win.. ;) :D :rolleyes:

Banshee dear boy, look up the words fawning and obsequious.
Alex.
"bitty" oh dear oh dear............

[A Yerbury]

Chaps, has anyone seen Dean or is he still pretending to be a covert obs specialist.....thats my manor.....
I was just thinking, do you think he's a real dean and if so what university he's in charge of....No wonder the fees are so high!
Not that im bothered.....and another thing along the same lines....Has anyone got a degree....I don't possess one of those things....although I do have a ruler which is quite uniformley graduated...
Im curious....not in a rude way....just so you all know....Im happily Married..
Regards.


what with his covert operations anything is possible? although he does sound a bit brainy so maybe he is one of them university things that you said before? zoinks! I hope he hasnt been rumbled by that "luke" kid!?
Alex (6 degrees of seperation)

[dean]

behind the bike sheds,a bit of discreet observations in to the girls changing room, i come back and it all seems to have gone a bit lord of the flies.

This means we can do what ever we want?!!!

Right!

Does anybody know what the reccomended service would be for my S4, it's done 4.5k miles (1000 over the last year), would you reccomend my belts being changed or just checked over. I'm just a bit concerned as i am taking it to the isle of man in june and i didnt want to have any problems over there.

Oh, and chain lube, whats the best chain lube.

What about insurance, i use bennetts at the moment, mainly because i have a two bike policy, does anybody have other two bike policys, and if so what prices do you get?

[A Yerbury]

I loved lord of the flies but when piggy got his hands on the ring it was a bit touch and go for samanderic. How did you manage to locate your self so close to a school dean? lucky sod. As for the technical stuff I am not too sure, have a word with Bob Dix, he's a bit of a wizard at all this technical lark.
yours with a poisoned brolly.
Alex.

[DesmoDog]

What the...why the hell is everyone talking about planes? Is this thread going to be banned? While we're on can anyone tell me the best way to polish my helmet? I've managed to get it free of the flies but the scratches are more difficult.

[nik_the_brief]

What the...why the hell is everyone talking about planes? Is this thread going to be banned? While we're on can anyone tell me the best way to polish my helmet? I've managed to get it free of the flies but the scratches are more difficult.

Sorry to hear you got it caught in your flies - that must've made your eyes water!

As for scratches, my best advice is that you cut your nails to prevent any repetition of such damage. :D

[DesmoDog]

What? No, it was the visor being slightly damaged that did that. A little crack on - no no no, can't say that! The thought police or Barbara Windsor might be watching and this entendre is going to far.

But hey, one technical posting today from our yerbs is studiously ignored yet we get three postings about planes. Quel the hell?

[A Yerbury]

What? No, it was the visor being slightly damaged that did that. A little crack on - no no no, can't say that! The thought police or Barbara Windsor might be watching and this entendre is going to far.

But hey, one technical posting today from our yerbs is studiously ignored yet we get three postings about planes. Quel the hell?
I shall alert nanny, just you wait and see.

[queen_gpants]

Thank god I've found a thread where there's no mention of bloody areoplanes!

What's going on, for some reason Ithought this was the UKMOC but now we seem to have turned into the nerdy train, plane and automobile spotting club!

and what's all this about banned being banned, has someone else been kicked off here?!

I was enjoying that thread, I didn't find it offensive, in bad taste or anything else....what the f uck is going on? :mad:

Someone please enlighten me! :confused:

[nik_the_brief]

Thank god I've found a thread where there's no mention of bloody areoplanes!

What's going on, for some reason Ithought this was the UKMOC but now we seem to have turned into the nerdy train, plane and automobile spotting club!

and what's all this about banned being banned, has someone else been kicked off here?!

I was enjoying that thread, I didn't find it offensive, in bad taste or anything else....what the f uck is going on? :mad:

Someone please enlighten me! :confused:

Me too QGP, I was very keen to discover more of the back garden espionage exploits - oooer missus!

Threads disappeared now - don't know what went wrong but I note that Berto and richard_s appear to have been temporarily guested again.

[CraigMac]

Celeste.
Banned was just the usual suspects having our normal laugh, not at anyones expense. Just the usual knockabout stuff.
I would appear that its not to certain peoples taste...so off it goes and there you have it.
and now we have planes trains and automobiles, which once again is not to everyones taste, but then again, im not harrassing the powers that be to make it go away.
But thanks for your support and on behalf of the contributors to the late lamented post. I will give you a big kiss (I cant find one of those kissing smilie type chaps) sorry....an X will have to suffice.
Regards
Craig.
PS...Bringing peace and love to the world....like one of those hippies.....who is undercover.....hiding in your garden.....and going through your bins.....like Dean and his trusty kids....

[queen_gpants]

Aaawww big X to you too :o

I only read "banned" yesterday, I spent a good half hour reading the thread from start to finish and I giggled the whole time, there was some very intelligent humour going on and I loved it!

Makes you think whoever pulled the plug on that one must be devoid of any sense of humour what so ever or it was just a bit too intelligent and they didn't get it!

I better my coat as I suspect I'll get banned for that comment now too! :rolleyes:

[Didge]

Aaawww big X to you too :o

I only read "banned" yesterday, I spent a good half hour reading the thread from start to finish and I giggled the whole time, there was some very intelligent humour going on and I loved it!

Makes you think whoever pulled the plug on that one must be devoid of any sense of humour what so ever or it was just a bit too intelligent and they didn't get it!

I better my coat as I suspect I'll get banned for that comment now too! :rolleyes:

Oooh! 'ark at her talking through a mouthful of rope! Don't let me catch you tied up like that, as there's nothing I like better than a 'captive' audience.

[CraigMac]

Celeste.
As one of the contributors to that thread, I will once again thank you and give you another big kiss.....in fact have two...XX.(nik, your not getting one, because your a chap and that would make me look soft)
I too was laughing my head off at some of the posts and I know that the boys concerned with it, enjoy making people smile....some of them will not admit this, because they think there hard....( well I know that I could batter them with a gladiator pugil stick)
I know that there are a few more of you out there who enjoy the tickle as well....So pop in sometime and enjoy.....You can even join in......its not that exclusive.
Regards.
Craig.

[marchesini]

Celeste.
I too was laughing my head off at some of the posts and I know that the boys concerned with it, enjoy making people smile....

Not to turn this thread into the "off topic and apologies, I digress" appreciation society, I have to say the recent turn of events in the humour department has me tuning in on a much more regular basis - keep up the good work fellas (and gals). Loved the 'creche' gag - that's a keeper.

best regards

simon

[A Yerbury]

excellent, a swelling in our ranks! crivens! a lady an all!

[DesmoDog]

A swelling you say?

[dean]

seems like a bit of appreciation here, how queer!

[A Yerbury]

It's a shame that this is like just an internet thing eh? because other wise we could all meet up and be great mates like those cheeky rakes in the "Boddingtons" adverts! forever getting into scrapes involving beer smuggling and the like. Alas no...still maybe in a parallel universe we are a bunch of Guy Ritchie funster sparrows!? having a laugh and "thwacking" Bob Dixons cheeks in the showers with our towells after some 5 a side fun? hoofing up a bit of charlie that Deans kids have got from some of the 2nd years, getting greased up and stuck into our bikes as Craig casts dispersions over miss julys Norks on my Pirreli calendar. Richard_S chuckling over his lager top "oi oi lads, this is my first pint today!" (when he has really already had two!!!!) In the mean time this is all we have so please dont pull us off!?!
Allesandro peccorino.
ps, and remember that theres nothing more sinister than ministers in dresses..

[queen_gpants]

Nice avatar Alex

I used to go to school with Nick Moran, he was in the year above me and we were in the drama club together.

He was one of my first love's (albiet for about a fortnight) and we spent many a happy hour canoodling (?) behind the bike sheds, well actually it was a quick snog and fumble but I was a bit of dreamer in those days!

Funny how life turns out, he's a movie star and I get paid to sniff stains....oh well :rolleyes:

[A Yerbury]

Co incidentally I once had a brief fling with an inflatable doll!? she used to love nothing more than being ti........(this has been censored on the grounds that it is a bit naughty) You smell sheets for a living? well thats gotta be better than getting pissed up with Guy Ritchie and some slapper from all saints, probably.
AY.X

[queen_gpants]

Co incidentally I once had a brief fling with an inflatable doll!?

I went to a party once where one of the blow up dolls was kidnapped and held to ransom, despite the organisers plea for her safe return they never did get her back in one piece


You smell sheets for a living? well thats gotta be better than getting pissed up with Guy Ritchie and some slapper from all saints, probably

No! Let me get one thing straight ok, I DO NOT sniff bed linen, no matter how much money I get paid! Wiffy mattresses, dodgy stains on bathroom carpets but no bed linen! :eek:

[Richy Rich]

What the...why the hell is everyone talking about planes? Is this thread going to be banned? While we're on can anyone tell me the best way to polish my helmet? I've managed to get it free of the flies but the scratches are more difficult.

My missus has scatched her volvo, can anyone help?

(This humour/jokes section seems to be having a terrible effect on me.) Funnily enough, on my way here tonight, I saw two nuns on a motorbike, or were they in a cucumber patch, !*!*!*!* my minds gone blank again.

Just thought I should add to the swelling of the shambling mound.

[queen_gpants]

rich if you've got a swelling on your shambling mound you should either:

1. tell your wife to buy some immac

2. go and see a doctor

:D

[A Yerbury]

my ex Girlfriend "claimed" to have a nasty scratch on her clio... I had a look but I could'nt find it?...women eh!

[Richy Rich]

rich if you've got a swelling on your shambling mound you should either:

1. tell your wife to buy some immac

2. go and see a doctor

:D

When I accellerate between 40 and 60 mph I sometimes do a bit of wee in my pants - maybe he could help with that too?

[A Yerbury]

When I accellerate between 40 and 60 mph I sometimes do a bit of wee in my pants - maybe he could help with that too?

Richy I had a similar problem, I found that by removing the speedo the "wee" part of my brain (sorry I am not a doctor!) was bypassed? this worked for a while....but now thanks to French conformity laws I have just had to attach a new speedo! in kilometres! so now I keep sh itting myself!?

Alex "160 on the clock" Yerbury

[CraigMac]

Rich, Your going to have a big problem matching paint. The paint technician is going to have to examine a sample to get it matched.Is it a modern Volvo?
Most of these a re "Colour Coded".... I would take along a part that is easily removed, say a mud flap, or a petrol flap....Infact Id let the missus take them both down.
She can then ask the guy to examine her flaps, it would save a lot of time.
Regards
Craig.

[Richy Rich]

Thanks for that boys, where else could you get such quick and constructive help. Perhaps we need a seperate thread for medical problems.
I would however like to go back to Celeste's mention of Immac and share an interesting personal story that you fellahs may like to emulate.
A year or so ago I had a rather degrading operation on my dangly underparts which meant that I had to use lots of Immac. This all felt strange at the time but afterwards I felt so goddam sexy I can't tell you. I nearly ended up having sex and everything.

[CraigMac]

You have obviously gained a lot of pleasure from your recent experiment and thats good!
To save you from any embarresment, the new name for immac is Veet...
I don't know how I know this as im covered in body hair.....a bit like a silver backed gorrilla.....but I actually live in a house and eat meat.
But I dont like misty days.
Regards.

[stef]

my ex Girlfriend "claimed" to have a nasty scratch on her clio... I had a look but I could'nt find it?...women eh!

is it the clio you couldnt find ? have you looked behind that bush ?

[dean]

i've tried it around my privates, and can heartily reccomend it. Make sure you get somebody who knows what they're doing though. I almost lost a Niag at a local emporium.

[CraigMac]

Dean,
What regiment are you in?Maybe I shouldn't ask.
Its all coming together now, I should have spotted it, with the covert ops., surveillence and intellegence gathering. Have you done any tours "overseas"....Youl'l know what I mean..
Any way, your obviously carrying a rank and in todays namby, pamby climate. I dont think you should be arseing around like this with your privates...Leave that behavior to the mess.
Regards.
Craig.

[Richy Rich]

To save you from any embarresment, the new name for immac is Veet...
I don't know how I know this as im covered in body hair.....a bit like a silver backed gorrilla.....but I actually live in a house and eat meat.
But I dont like misty days.
Regards.

I too am a very hairy fellah - does it mean we're a few million years behind on the evolutionary path? In these days of back, crack and sack waxes this does seem to be a little repulsive to many chicks. I suppose on the plus side by the time they find the full extent of the problem it's too late.

[queen_gpants]

Richy I had a similar problem, I found that by removing the speedo the "wee" part of my brain (sorry I am not a doctor!) was bypassed? this worked for a while....but now thanks to French conformity laws I have just had to attach a new speedo! in kilometres! so now I keep sh itting myself!?

boys have you considered purchasing man size nappies, not only will they save you spoiling your upholstery from unnecessary spillages, it will also lessen the chance of some poor unsuspecting inventory clerk having to sniff the offending stains!

[CraigMac]

Ah, that old evolution chestnut. I dont subscribe to that, as I prefer to buy at the local Newsagent. Delprado though do some great mags, which are stunning value. But youv'e got to buy the whole set, as a part, built "Mary Rose" is worthless.
But back onto your gorrilla/hairy fella point. Evolutions not my bag. Having said that, I often get the urge to throw feaces at groups of people who stare at me.
Strange, but true.

[queen_gpants]

In these days of back, crack and sack waxes this does seem to be a little repulsive to many chicks.

Bring back hairy men, that's what I say!

Nowt wrong with a bit of superfluous fluff on your man, in fact I can be found most evenings stroking Radars tummy fluff....maybe I should be saying this on Sammye's "information we might not know about you" thread :rolleyes:

[CraigMac]

Celeste,
Great suggestion, The only problem is that a lot of us guys wear tight fitting hipsters....The bulge of the nappy would be unsightly.
Im more of a sheath catheter and bag man, when the need arises.
Copious amounts of Brut or old spice normally masks any smell.
But thanks for the tip....it shows you care.
Regards.

[Richy Rich]

boys have you considered purchasing man size nappies, not only will they save you spoiling your upholstery from unnecessary spillages, it will also lessen the chance of some poor unsuspecting inventory clerk having to sniff the offending stains!

I know everyone needs a hobby and everything but why would an inventory clerk sniff stains - sorry to be a bit slow.

[Richy Rich]

Having said that, I often get the urge to throw feaces at groups of people who stare at me.
Strange, but true.

I'm still a bit scarred from Sammye's post about the that super blow job that ends in pooing your pants. Call me old fashioned but we could do without that kind of talk around here.

[CraigMac]

Rich,I apologise, I understand that your sensitive.

[dean]

By pure coincidence (or maybe not?) i have noticed that today is immac relief day. I have my red nose bursting with joy as a sit proud at my desk, are you all wearing yours?

[Richy Rich]

Rich,I apologise, I understand that your sensitive.

Can we get back to body hair now. My pubes are generally very scruffy but on the top corners I have a little ringlet on each side. My ex-girlfriend used to tell me they were my best feature.

[CraigMac]

Rich.
I dont mean to pry, but are you circumvented?
What with the ringlets and the volvo estate...Do you live in Prestwich.
Im curious.
Regards.
Ps. Ive just noticed a thread on Rocker Wear. Imagine my surprise. I assumed it would be about faded denims with turnups, winckle picker boots,leather studded jackets and quiffs....Not even a mention of a flick knife.

[SAMMYE]

I'm still a bit scarred from Sammye's post about the that super blow job that ends in pooing your pants. Call me old fashioned but we could do without that kind of talk around here.

Dont knock it till youve tried it Philistine Monkeyboy!

[Richy Rich]

Rich.
I dont mean to pry, but are you circumvented?
What with the ringlets and the volvo estate...Do you live in Prestwich.


You're right to be circumspect and the circumference of my hooter is indeed larger than most, however, it's just circumstantial old boy. I'm actually a genteel.

Still trying to think up a reply to Dean's excellent Immac Relief Day gag.

[Richy Rich]

Dont knock it till youve tried it Philistine Monkeyboy!

I'm not from Palastine either thank you.

[CraigMac]

Dean,
How do we get involved....sponsored depilation...I believe that there are some women over from south america...I heard some mention of Brazilians...
Whats this about then?
If I can help in way.

[A Yerbury]

By pure coincidence (or maybe not?) i have noticed that today is immac relief day. I have my red nose bursting with joy as a sit proud at my desk, are you all wearing yours?

Sadly I may not get to see any of comic relief! I was really looking forward to watching the nations number one funny woman and fanny fancier Victoria Wood fingering her organ as Jonathon Ross says funny jokes! ho ho....excuse me, my red nose is going to the right a bit....hmmmm now thats what I call relief.

[A Yerbury]

Dean,
How do we get involved....sponsored depilation...I believe that there are some women over from south america...I heard some mention of Brazilians...
Whats this about then?
If I can help in way.


I hear that deforestation is a big Problem in Brazil?

[CraigMac]

Alex,
I didn't know that.
I did know that Deforest Kelly played the ships doctor, "Bones" In the original Star Trek.
Interesting eh.

[A Yerbury]

perhaps a picture of someone in vulcanised rubber deforesting kell brooke is in order? knowledge is power and all that....

[dean]

Dean,
How do we get involved....sponsored depilation...I believe that there are some women over from south america...I heard some mention of Brazilians...
Whats this about then?
If I can help in way.

Thanks for the offer, i personally have collected one and a half tesco bags full of pubes for my local YMCA (i dont know what they do with it, make mattresses or something)

I am also doing a sponsored shave tonight down the local pub. I will be showing up with my clippers at about seven, i have had signs up for the last three days inviting all the local women to come down and i will shave them (no blokes, that would be weird)I will then donate the proceeds to my local immac rep.

should be a great night, expecting a good turn out, cant wait.

[CraigMac]

Has anyone else noticed, how some people, especially in the entertainment industry have strange names. What were the parents thinking, to give there child such an odd name.
One that springs to mind is the rapper, Snoop Doggy Dog. What were Mr And Mrs Dog thinking about to burden him with such an absurd christian name.
Or should there be a hyphen in it Making them the Doggy-Dog's.
Your thoughts,
regards

[Bob Dixon]

have a word with Bob Dix, he's a bit of a wizard at all this technical lark.
Yerbury.

Yeah yeah yeah, see, you all come crawling back when you need something. I see you`ve been running around like head chickens without the Alpha male around to keep you in check....
Now then Dean; Chain lube....you need...wait for it...boot polish, lots of loverly boot polish. Liberally dose the chain , preferably with Kiwi Parade gloss black. This will sort it out. While you're at it full the sump up with it.....oh and some carbon fibre, not pre preg mind, only wet lay up will do to protect those crank bearings.Wrap the cams in pre preg though......
Belt change; dead easy if your mechanically adept, potentially catastrophic if you ain`t. The Haynes 916 book tells you all you need to know. Don`t buy belts from Ducati dealers...they charge you an arm and a leg, but them off one of the specialists who do spares on the web, should cost you £20 odd quid and yes , I would do them. Belt changes should be an annual job.
If you can`t get hold of any Kiwi Parade Gloss black for the chain then get some Oxblood, failing that I find that leopard's fanny batter does the job in an emergency, can be tricky to obtain in your neck of the woods, wherever that is.
:bunny:

[CraigMac]

Dean,
I assisted in a charity venture such as this with a hole load of air hostesses at Manchester Airport. It was far to cramped to do it inside the plane. So I had them all lined up underneath...I had to be very careful though with the undercarriage..what a day!
Regards

[dean]

please to say that after recent distribution hiccups (mainly due to problems with road haulage contractors, incidentally...) leopards fanny batter is in plentiful supply locally. so i'll give it a try.

Have got some ox-blood somewhere, about a pint and a half actually. I use it for a local pagan ritual, mainly because it's more oily and dosent smell or taste as bad.

Craig, regarding funny celebrity names, Reese witherspoon. Why did the witherspoons family, whose pubs undoubtedly sell cheaper kronenbourg than any other pubs i know, name their daughter after my next door neighbor's little boy?. He's a little geek. it just dosent make sense.

[A Yerbury]

the beauty of ducatis is the "twin cylinder" system, simply run the belts untill one of them tears. that way you get your moneys worth out of the belt and the bike still has a perfectly good cylinder? ....but if you want to fund stu spareshacks cosmetic enhancements and offshore investments every two years then so be it.

[A Yerbury]

for years we have been led to believe that character actor, all round mr nice and loose footed southerner Kevin Bacon is some kind of "Hollywood star" well the above may well be true but he's called...."kevin bacon" its absurd?! IMO
AY.

[dean]

the beauty of ducatis is the "twin cylinder" system, simply run the belts untill one of them tears. that way you get your moneys worth out of the belt and the bike still has a perfectly good cylinder? ....but if you want to fund stu spareshacks cosmetic enhancements and offshore investments every two years then so be it.

OFF TOPIC!

Do you mind. Unless you wish to discuss male pattern baldness, swine or charity balls then take your techno babble and find a plane spotting site.

[A Yerbury]

OFF TOPIC!

Do you mind. Unless you wish to discuss male pattern baldness, swine or charity balls then take your techno babble and find a plane spotting site.

An oversight....lashings of humility....horsehair shirt....what a silly boy...dont stick it in too far sir....hail mary...etc
Alex.
ps If you are Off TOPIC might I suggest a milky way? or a Kinder egg?

[Richy Rich]

The fellah who has the shop next door to me is called Kevin Large. With a name that you'd think he'd defo be a celeb but no. Double bummer for him eh.

[Fodder]

I knew a Kev Large from my schooldays, he was neither a Kevin or particularly large but his talent was deniable. Hollywood possibly beckoned until he failed school miserably and joined the army. :bunny:

[CraigMac]

for years we have been led to believe that character actor, all round mr nice and loose footed southerner Kevin Bacon is some kind of "Hollywood star" well the above may well be true but he's called...."kevin bacon" its absurd?! IMO
AY.
Alex,
I agree, most of the time kevin is just trying to get his mug on the screen in every shot!! He's a ham actor....
And as for his mate, 24 star and allround camera hogger, Keeper Sutherland, well I saw him in goal at a celeb footy match and he was no good at all, he doesn't deserve that name for sure!
Regards.

[A Yerbury]

Could someone please post something entertaining/diverting here please? I would but I am too busy touching myself.
Alex.

[Richard_S]

I was outed as Superman yesterday by my 5 year old cousin.
Intuitive these kids you know.

We also had a heart-warming rendition of "ketchup on your cornflakes" - the modern, jazz tip vibe, classic beat combo newage and wave track. I had a good old go with my mate Croc and a little bit of "a ha, I’ve got you trapped between my legs and I'll never let go" cackle cackle etc etc. It was then time for some home cooking, a spot of light conversation and a cheeky blackcurrant surprise or 2. The evening then migrated into stone the police, red eyeballs, big bass and a very uncomfortable chair. Saving grace I hear you ask? Damn straight, and in the form of a chocolate based Muller corner.

I had three evenings all rolled in to one but made the final and crucial mistake this morning. I got home by 9.30, stayed up for a few minutes and thought "hey, your up" but then in a weak moment I talked myself into a cheeky hour. I have just got out of the bath and when I’ve cooled down will be digging out the decadent pots and pans and giving little miss Kashmir pants a run for her money.

good news btw. I'll get the sun seeker washed off and then maybe even a new lick of paint. we don't feck about do we.

[A Yerbury]

thank 'lil baby jesus and mama diablo, a sane chappie come to brighten the battleship grey. Received umpteen msgs but orange charge an arm, a leg, another arm and chunks of kidney just to read the damn things...apologies. Uk in 5 weeks then the serious business of fu cking about begins in earnest (I havent spoken to Earnest about this but he's game for a laugh hahahahaha) these digital cameras are rather bollocks compared to 6x4.5 Bronicas? I've seen the future and, like the present, it needs a bit of a slap. Form a queue kids, daddys coming home, he's had a word with the headmaster, he has a sword, and the kittens are upside down in the canal. Plus ca change.... Anyway it's dinner and wine time chez moi so untill next time don't cut corners with origami prophets unless you want to loose your illusion. Snip. I'm (a real gone) kid.
AY.xyz

[marchesini]

Alex,
I agree, most of the time kevin is just trying to get his mug on the screen in every shot!! He's a ham actor....

The more I thought about this, the more I realised that this was not an isolated incident - thay all get my goat. They're all not really who they are on the telly, they are all just pretending - like it's just some big game - well grow up, they aren't children anymore - they should go out and get proper jobs on a farm like that Paris Hilton and Nicole Rich Tea or at least help with the war effort and help put together some shells in a factory up north with Rachel Weisz (sp) and Anna Friel.

Granted, I take your point about that Bacon fella but at least he is from the carnivorous part of the food chain whose role in this circle of life is to provide for his nearest and dearest - there was a film about his youngest - Babe, I think it was - where he got lost in New Pork City or something. Anyway, it's these jumped up weeds that get a little bit too ambituous for their cabbage patch - take that Brussel Crowe, thinks he's really hard and popular but no-one really likes him. Obviously, he'll learn and mellow as he matures but at the the moment, he's very green and bitter - he's just trying a bit too hard to be popular.

Anyone remember that Mad Max movie where foil was in short supply and they were fighting over who controlled it all - the world's supply of alternative food preservation had all but disappeared? Can't remember how it all ended, something to do with Tuckerware (hasn't he done well for himself since Grange Hill, first the Bill and now his own clothing range). Anyway, onto my main point about over-ambituous vegetables, Tina 'bloody' Turnip - not only is she another 'pretender', it's not even her own hair, how devious is that. I'd wager a small goat that it's not even her own body - like that Mr Potato Head. At least, he's proud of what he is and standing up for what he believes in - unlike that Ms Turnip (or should I say Potato). Those wizards in Hollywood have just got a little carried away with the effects - I met her once aswell, looks smaller in real life than on the telly.

I've got myself all worked up now and will have to sit down with a nice Babs Cartland romantic tale to calm my nerves - oh and don't even get me started on those Clueless Ohlson twins, Asparagus Silverstone and Rice Witherspoon, same person, different surnames but anyone with half a brain can tell they are the same person or twins or both - oh, I'm all confused now, my nerves are so frayed. Where's my book?

Best regards

simon

[DesmoDog]

now Simon, that's just bloody silly.

[A Yerbury]

many a true word spoken in sillyness, I have some points to make although I dont have the requisite adhesive just yet.....a moment!

[DesmoDog]

alex, your current icon scares me - take him away!

[A Yerbury]

So these so called films are all pretend then Simon? Well I very much doubt that! think of the logistics involved in say... recreating a space craft? or co ordinating a car chase such as the one in bullseye with steven King when it would be easier just to film the real thing?!? No, what gets me is these reality cross over shows such as World at War in the kitchen with everyones favourite acne survivor and shouter Gordon Ramsbottom, there I was about to text "abi titmouse" -of beatrix potter and the Dawn treader fame- when I typed 3323 instead! help! I had hit the wrong button and voted for everyones favourite mass murdering chunky tached ruski Joe-crazy legs-stalin instead.........and just what the bloody hell is that pretend pornography "babecast" all about!? ITS MY CIVIC DUTY TO VOTE?! well, sorry but I am going to Abstain from now on.....Jon leslie can film it if he wants.

[marchesini]

So these so called films are all pretend then Simon? Well I very much doubt that!

Ha, I see what you are trying to do here, mess with my grip on reality. OK, admittedly there was some logic (some I say) but then answer me this.

If all film is reality, how come I have seen that diminutive funnyman and pysco Joe Pesci, been beaten to death by mobsters in that Saturday Matinee family drama Casino (with Sharon Stone, who incidentally at an early age had an affair with Rock Hudson and bore the love child who overcame diversity and a deprived childhood to become The Rock). Anyways, if Joe Pesci is now dead, how come he then decides to miraculously spring back to life and help out Mel Gibson and Danny Glovebox in that Lethal Weapon trilogy. Yeah, yeah, the peroxide hair doesn't fool me for a moment - Yerbs, you have to understand that they are professionals (like Bodie and Doyle except without the perms) so it is easy to make that mistake.

Before you jump to other hasty conclusions, what about that other overgrown schoolboy - Tom 'the Thumb' Crooze (way before it became fashionable to be small before these B list celebs like Dennis Waterman jumped on the 'Small is Beautiful' bandwagon). Well, I remember seeing him in that Oliver Stone (not related but wierd though) Vietnam masterpiece "Born on the 4th of July" - in a wheelchair. You are not expecting me to believe that another miracle happened and he learnt to walk and led the 7th Cavalry into battle against the evil Samurai Warriors of Gowan Mi Son. Not saying it couldn't happen but if it did, it would make a bloody good novel - of course in the Crime Thriller Romance category of Babs Cartland.

It's all made up I tell you and whats more no-one believes me - except for the Lord of the Rings trilogy which is all true. Actually, all trilogies are true - Alien, Back to the Future, Indiana Jones - except for the Lethal Weapon trilogy which is all made up (I think). Oh, you've got me all confused again now - where's my Baileys, I think I need another lie down.

confused from sydenham
simon

[A Yerbury]

One word "cloning" facial palsyed muscle meister and member of the tom thumb/waterman/colin farrell school of instepped actors Sylvester Stallone made a documentary about it called Judge Dredd. They just punch in pesci (scary work) and out pops one of the chuckling nastys!.... altough the twins in the matrix trilogy were real. I think or maybe it was that CGI bloke buzzlightyear doing it all on a computer with walt whitman and "the lamp" of PIXAR fame?

[DesmoDog]

Nah, you've hit the nail on its metaphorical mate. You used the M word and that's it all over now. We'll just await a visit from Mr. Smith now and all of this will be erased from the server. Oh, no wait. That's if we start talking about our members (go figure).

[A Yerbury]

I believe that the one known as "trinity" is safe, she was last seen wearing some very suspect colour combinations, has covered her tracks well and it should be nigh on impossible for Agents Smith, Fatbloke and the other one to locate her.....

...conection to server cannot be established...
c:/
c:/
c:/
c:/

[marchesini]

One word "cloning"

Ah ha, that would shed some light on my state of confusion regarding Gorgeous George Cloney. I was wondering how he managed to be floating around as an intergallactic Astra Nut and a debonair con-man at the very same time. Obviously, I put it down to a combination of the infinite Black Whole(Nuts - I sense a theme here) found in space, time zones between continents and the differences in gravity (not the Bisto kind, of course). But again, I am open to alternative viewpoints (how about a fisheye with a polarising filter?) and stand corrected.

Hang on, it's just got busy in here (the lunchtime rush) and don't want to lose out on my 4th star. I'll be back, oh yes.

Best regards

simon

[A Yerbury]

ah but less we forget the upgarded Clooney mk IV he of "connfessions of a dirty mind" directorial fame starring hugh barrymoore (pre the swimming pool incident) and underatted genius Sam Rockard, who used to be led around albert square by the spooty thick kid with the weird angled face. Raol Julia norbett smith was there too (RIP) as was the nations number one android and flogger of guiness "Rutger Hauer" crazy name crawy guy!? Its a great flick as the young folk say down the nightclub/bistro !*!*!* internet cafe.
must dash, its getting busy here as well! four stars! pah when you are a 5 star like me then we'll talk! like I say, must Dash, the Pentagon has strict limits on "net time" and Syria is getting a tad bothersome.
Generallisimo (count the stars kiddo!) Yerbs.