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View Full Version : Whats your biggest 'Brown Pants' moment


Plum
21-01-2005, 08:40 PM
We all have told of our horrendous crashes, stupid spills and stupid mistakes like losing keys, blah, blah. Well how about telling us about your lucky escapes or **** stained y-front stained moments.

I have a couple. I was on my Gamma pretending i was Doohan (i know it was a Suzi) and i came on to our version of a dual carrigeway. I was going along at 50 (ish) and the chain slipped off, smashed the crank case, bent the clutch rod and locked all the rear end up. I got away with by the skin of my teeth. And to add insult, i had to push the bastard back home stopping every few meters to unwind the chain from the rear end.

The second was on the Gamma again. I went over a brow and decided to pop the clutch and hoist the front end up, just to let it go light and almost glide. If any of you ever had a Gamma you will remember the unpredictable power band it had. On a 250 it was dangerous, on a 500 it was lethal. Well i though i had lifted it on the brow, just before the powerband, but it kicked in at something stupid and it came up with such a thrust. I know people always say 'it was vertical' but this really was as high as i had been. It went very lite and you could feel the back wanting to overtake the front. I am not sure to this day how it came down. I can only assume that i did think to hit the rear anchor because i just didnt have any time to think. It came down with such a thud that i thought it would all fold in and i was gonna to be in some pain. Later inspection showed the forks had slipped through the yokes.Luckily it went okay, i shook, and very possibly could have wet myself....it was the scariest moment ever and i never pulled another wheelie on it again.........

My funniest moment was asking the guy i had bought the monnie from what 'that button' was. 'Err, thats to start it Lee' he said. Never had electric start before.....i could have embarrased myself and asked where the kickstart was!!

bod
21-01-2005, 09:21 PM
Horse Sh*t on the racing line of the last bend coming back into Willingham woods after a trip to Skegness.
Front end seemed to silde nearly to the kerb..was gonna put my hand up to warn people following but my hands were glued to the bars in fear.
After we all pulled up 30 seconds later the 1st coment from all of us when removing lids was FU*K ME did you hit that :D
Tis true you see something in the road your eyes look at it and zero in on it your going through it!!

NattyBoy
21-01-2005, 09:56 PM
Parking 916 up in Bristol from 10 in the morning until 8 at night while shopping.....with the keys left in the ignition... :eek: :eek:

Sliding down the dual carriageway alongside my FZR600 and a daihatsu charade missing my head by about 2 feet.

Going down a 45ft drop in a white water rafting dinghy in NZ and (unsurprisingly!) coming out..

Racing my mates on there 125's on my RG125, and outbraking myself at a bend...drifted right out onto the other side of the road and went through a hedge (if thered have been a car coming I would have been exchanging this story with someone whilst sat in a white fluffy cloud..alll dressed in white (if you get my drift !!!).

Nat

A Yerbury
21-01-2005, 10:11 PM
passing a police "random check" point the other week.....eek!

martin b
21-01-2005, 10:14 PM
going down the m1 threw traffic and the prat decides to change lanes in front of me on xj900 luckily got away from that one .
had a few slips on oil and gravel.
apart from that been lucky exept when your driving your 16 foot articullated lorry empty back from mansfield in the stong winds with now seat belt.

martin b

A Yerbury
21-01-2005, 10:19 PM
finding out the cost of a new petrol tank was brown pantsesque..

stef
21-01-2005, 10:32 PM
more frustrating than brown..watching my brand spanking new paint-job disintegrating on the pavement as my cbr slide downhill on its side. sparks flying and all..
funny how time is really, really slow in those moments. I was sliding on the road a couple of meters behind the bike, but could stop cursing and punching the road in anger ! (knuckle bruises on top of friction burns....)... it felt like ages.. probably lasted 3 seconds.

queen_gpants
22-01-2005, 09:57 AM
I had a few brown pant moments on my GSXR600

Had just bought the bike and was riding home. This was my first proper sports bike and I wasn't used to the power, had got a few hundred yards down the road and stopped at a roundabout where the police were slowing down traffic as there had been an accident. The throttle is a bit snappy on the old gixxers and I went to pull away in 1st gear the front end comes up which frigthened the life out of me! My face must have been a picture as these coppers all stood there arms crossed glaring at me! :p

Riding to work one morning had just turned right onto the main road, cold tyres, too much throttle and the back end slipped on the painted white line, back end swishing all over the place and threw me clean out of the seat over the tank and back into the seat again! To this day I have no idea how I didnt bin it! :eek:

diogenes
22-01-2005, 10:16 AM
Set off for work one very cold and freezing December morning. Heading down a steep hill (too fast) I came to break and the bike lost all grip on the loose grit left by the snow gritters. As it slid upright and skittered forward it was a choice of running into a wall, a parked car or shooting out on to the main road at the bottom of the hill. I chose the latter knowing that if I hit a bus it would be all over much quicker. I missed the bus and a wagon by two tenths of a second. I think they were a bit surprised at a bike coming out of nowhere. Never again.

Moral of story. Don't be complacent about where you live and watch out for junctions where gritters have been - they don't turn off the machine and it all collects like little marbles.

DesmoDog
22-01-2005, 10:25 AM
Picking my second monnie up from the owner on a fine drizzle day after a dry spell in an unknown town. The monnie had a bent gear lever (among many other things) and I was totally unsure of the bike. Rode down a steep hill in saturday morning traffic, a multitude of 4x4s, came up to a set of lights on red, dropped the gear and neatly locked up the rear end, the bike gracefully slid through the lights and I ended up sitting accross the fast lane of a very busy A road with enraged drivers a-honking. The only reason I wasn't hit was the volume of the traffic and the light change slowed everyone down. Nice

SazzaG
22-01-2005, 10:32 AM
Both of my moments were on the back of Roger's R6. One was the last time I went pillion on it, when Rog "accidently" pulled a wheelie. Scared the life out of me!

The other is probably his brown trousers moment as well. We were going down a very straight part of the A29 (well, it is a Roman Road), overtaking a few cars, with a car overtaking cars in front of us. That car pulled back in with us behind it (must have been going about 80), when with no warning, it suddenly slammed it's brakes on, then indicated right. We then discovered the stopping power of the R6! I ended up on the main seat, and Rog nearly sterilised himself on the tank! I wouldn't say we were too close to the car. It was a clear road ahead, and you really don't expect people to stop dead with no warning...

This was made all the more scary by the fact that Rog had only passed his test a couple of weeks before. Nice control love! He was probably only saved from doing a massive stoppie by having me on the back.

Just so glad it was a straight road, and a dry day!

Saz

slob
22-01-2005, 11:29 AM
Waiting to turn right on my DR350S a car ran into the back of me. I didn't have any time to react when I heard the brakes squeal. The bike went straight on and I went straight up, coming back down on the bonnet. I rolled off onto the road infront of the car and saw it still coming towards me. I really thought I was going to get run over for good measure. It stopped about 6 inches short of hitting me.
The really big accident I had In 1981 wasn't scary at all, I don't remember anything for a couple of hundred yards before the impact and only regained conciousness 4 days later. Both legs and one arm in traction and on oxygen because two of my ribs went into my lung. I knew exactly what had happened but my subconcious seems to have blocked it out completely..... bonus!

Flip
22-01-2005, 01:06 PM
This is such a bad thread to have started....

If Didge gets to see this you just know his story will be HORRIBLE!!

You have been warned!

Didge...over to you....

DesmoDude
22-01-2005, 03:14 PM
I was wind surfing on Cape Cod and I watched a freakin sea gull swoop down, snatch up my car keys and fly off with them. :eek:

This is a true story.

Mand
22-01-2005, 06:47 PM
I've slipped on diesel but haven't we all?

The worst was when my other half fell off and broke his collar bone, he was given morphine to kill the pain and decided that morphine does not suit him. He was wheeled into the crash unit and I thought I was going to lose him.

Now that was a brown pant moment.
:(

berto
22-01-2005, 07:03 PM
:eek: Misjudged overtaking a van on my 350Lc as a truck came the other way .as I started to overtake the powerband came in and I clipped the cats eye which put me into a tankslapper I went between both the van and truck with the bars going lock to lock I screamed away and stopped further up the road to recover...The van driver pulled in behind me to give me a bollocking but I got such a fright I couldn't speak properly and was shaking uncontrolably...he thought I was a stroke victim and f ucked off leaving me wibbling to myself!!!!Boys eh!!!!! :D

Scotty
22-01-2005, 08:43 PM
novice rider me been stuck behind some sort of car thing after the next sharp bend decided id overtake their having faster acceleration and all that
only it was a bouble bend and i was carying too much speed for my ability, rounded the bend but stubed my right toe on the floor somehow and snapped the side stand off on a bridge railing just after the corner stopped at the next crossroad and car driver gave me a look of scorne as i looked at side stand in bits

http://www.ukmonster.co.uk/monster/attachment.php?attachmentid=4999&stc=1

Banshee
22-01-2005, 09:24 PM
ive had a priest read me my last rights in hospital, TWICE!!!!! :rolleyes:

Mand
22-01-2005, 09:27 PM
Banshee - you're a greedy bastard! :lol:

Banshee
22-01-2005, 09:48 PM
You saw my track day, you suprised? if anyone will will do the do its down to me, you ask elmo, 22 wright offs, and at 36 i get a bike, he he. :o

Richard_S
22-01-2005, 09:59 PM
i have some plasticine spare if you'd like to start crafting little cars and bikes instead :D

its all a bit scary for me, but rising with curtains would probably help the cause. I am actually making the effort to try and do another year and with the lovely afro climate I am riding like a big girl.

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:01 PM
was you at last track day?

Richard_S
22-01-2005, 10:03 PM
nope too unlucky for that nonsense. Recognition of the luck limits saves the day, a cross between the wisdom of noddy and the life of Clarence.

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:05 PM
you seen the vid of me at last years? you cummin this year?

Richard_S
22-01-2005, 10:08 PM
no and see above.

too many uncharted breasts, language and genius propaganda to occupy the day. If I had a hammer etc etc.

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:15 PM
your brain is too big for me, what you on about? :confused:

Richard_S
22-01-2005, 10:26 PM
all I can tell you is the sad soul in bugens, W4 has no answers worth noting.

gandhi said it best ; "My life is my message"

keep it belly up this time!

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 10:27 PM
.........he would hammer in the morning......I saw the vid banshee and it was spectacularly unspectacular! it looked more like you had lost the will to live as opposed to lost control. If you are planning the same this year can we have limb loss or something a bit more visual? who knows the response from the cameraman/woman and track officials may display a bit more emotion with claret spurting all over the place?
AY. more nail than hammer but hey thats cool too ya know.

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:30 PM
tiz true i dont pose too brill for the old camera, will be expecting tips on the day from your good self. are you going this year?

Richard_S
22-01-2005, 10:33 PM
mallory or provence.

tough one chaps, answers on a postcard to the usual Poobox.

exploration will always conquer the life of times of men.

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 10:42 PM
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no. my willy is big enough and I'm way too cool for school. As for the camera just smile and wave, you are an ok looking bloke, but its not the meat under the lid is it? its all about featuring on rotten.com under the title "ooooh thats really gotta fuking hurt, yowza!"

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:48 PM
track day! is me wrong?

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 10:52 PM
me is not understanding you?

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:56 PM
forgive me, im that pissed i dont remember postin my last 2 on this thread, but hey its ok cos i aint driving..... :p

Banshee
22-01-2005, 10:57 PM
i know right in the bollocks. he he
:cool:

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 11:12 PM
its great fun! ok so its not crack but if you kill the lights one can at least attain something close to what folk would have once called excitement. you should give it a whirl, given the type of person you may be sharing the rest of your time on earth with a few thrills might put a bit of a spring in you. Or like me you may end up drinling pink gins, watching abbott and costello in german and translating patents for radical loudspeaker designs...I would tell you more but Id have to kill you. que serra serra.

Banshee
22-01-2005, 11:17 PM
i hope all you brainy peeps who like to flex your brains on the forum are rollin in it or it aint worth a ****...... ;)

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 11:21 PM
ah thatchers britain speaks, theres more to life than loadsamoney!!!!!!!! its all ****, its all zen its all gravy and its all nothing. (I must admit that tall, dark and handsome helps but vanitys no virtue so I welcome the inevitable decay)

Banshee
22-01-2005, 11:23 PM
dont get me wrong, im short fat and skint. :o

A Yerbury
22-01-2005, 11:30 PM
are you not very very ugly too? But improvement of the mind is not dependant on any of those traits and dictionaries are cheap. Anyways dear, its been a bit of a day and vented goggles on the french motorway make for very tired eyes. note to self:rain=full face. Night night Banshee, dont stay up drinking too late, I get a bit suicidal if I do too much of that.
AY.x

Banshee
22-01-2005, 11:31 PM
but are you saying i could but i dont want to.....?

Banshee
22-01-2005, 11:35 PM
i throw down the gauntlet, chess at arrow mill, best of one. you game?
:cool:

A Yerbury
23-01-2005, 08:55 AM
I am officially ****e at chess, lack of concentration and all that. you win by default well done.

Richard_S
23-01-2005, 10:12 AM
alex is right, tis more about your skill with the 100 strong hockey cokey than your wallet. I have recently procured the knowledge and my dominance of count down has ensued.

berto
23-01-2005, 01:17 PM
:confused: Skill ,what skill ?if memory serves right she just artexed her pants and ran into the barrier...dull dull dull but feckin funny, dopey I salute you and your self appraisal!!!! ;)

Richard_S
23-01-2005, 01:28 PM
you'll waste half your life before you catch the boat otherwise jimmy.

i think you need to fly away and smile a bit.

downtime frowning is reserved for vultures.

do yourself a favour

berto
23-01-2005, 01:30 PM
Do be quiet you fat friendless twat....and yer burd chucked ye hehehehehe!

A Yerbury
23-01-2005, 01:38 PM
the fat boab/fat boy jpeg in high resolution now or the penguin gets it in the neck.

Richard_S
23-01-2005, 01:44 PM
can we trade this twat in for Berty Barbarani?

A Yerbury
23-01-2005, 01:52 PM
Is betie addressing the short fat ugly one with the pinnochio syndrome? golly gosh he's ruder than me that bertoli..

Richard_S
23-01-2005, 01:59 PM
obiesty is a state of mind and fortunately for me I dont eat enough to worry about it. an accurate measure should always dominate the mindset, but no we get prime time advertising to warn us that eating 200 burgers a day means that one day we will die. As ms woolfe proclaimed "One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well" .

A Yerbury
23-01-2005, 02:05 PM
nice, the loving and dining are compatible and its in dreams I am at my most lucid, last night a beautiful dark haired woman told me that I was adopted and that my real father was descended of French royal blood that missed the chop. its not real tho but then neither is trisha.

Richard_S
23-01-2005, 02:07 PM
never fall into that trap.

nothing is real :eek:

Phoenix
23-01-2005, 09:42 PM
Not had too many - the worst i guess was when this crashed in front of me last year !
Fortunately the rider used up all of his nine lives on this one :eek:

Plum
24-01-2005, 07:33 PM
Not had too many - the worst i guess was when this crashed in front of me last year !
Fortunately the rider used up all of his nine lives on this one :eek:

JESUS CHRIST......What was that!! Is it a Honda?

What happend there then?

Phoenix
24-01-2005, 07:47 PM
It was a 3 month old Aprillia RSVR - it came off worse when aimed head first into a granite rock face at 100 + :eek:

icarus
25-01-2005, 12:44 AM
I was right behind Rob Orme when he had his career ending crash on the exit of Gerrads at Mallory, that wa scary.

And I got stuck under a lorry when it wiped me out on an exup, several broken bones including the one that exited my forearm. Didn't hurt until I woke up in hospital :D

andy mac
25-01-2005, 01:24 PM
back in the 80 s sometime ,having a race with 2 mates me on z650
stupidley fast on country roads ,came around corner just as JCB was
pulling out of field.skimmed bucket with my left leg
:eek: even now 20 years later it makes me sweat :(

cgreen
30-01-2005, 09:55 PM
had a hairy moment couple of years back riding back from brighton over devils dyke (twistys) had missus on the back and rounded a left hander only to find an inch deep mat of gravel across a patch of the road! back end drifted out kind swiftly and had to just ride it through, luckily came of unscathed :D

karTER
31-01-2005, 09:02 AM
Back tyre blow out with pillion, panniers and tank bag at 80 odd into a bend.

Not funny but certainly memorable.

nik_the_brief
31-01-2005, 09:51 AM
The front (gearbox) sprocket coming off together with the chain at 80 as I was starting to decelerate coming off the motorway.

Nearly showed the colour of adrenaline when I realised what had happened after inspecting the result. Heart banging away like a gerbil on speed when I realised what could have happened if it had locked up my rear wheel (or banged a dirty big hole in my crankcase). :eek:

COR
31-01-2005, 09:52 PM
10 years ago but still feels like yesterday, or maybe last week now. Filtering down the middle when a car pulled out from a junction between the traffic and straight into the side of me, snapping my left shin against the frame of my GPZ500s, and the force of throwing me from the bike whilst my leg still pinned between the car and bike twisting my leg and breaking my thigh bone. On hitting the ground breaking my right wrist and chipped me two front teeth!


ZX6R dropped a valve. Had just left a roundabout and on the throttle when I heard a horrible noise - thought it was the chain wrapping so pulled in the clutch and let it coast to stop. Engine cut out before it came to a stop. On inspection, nothing wrong with chain but engine wouldn't start. Took the bloody RAC four hours to get me home when it would have taken me half that to walk it!!!


Decending the Alps into Italy via the Petit St Bernards Pass when the 4by4 in front of me stopped suddenly on a very tight downward right hander then continued. With all luggage on the back, both feet down, a strong hold on the front break and a sheer drop in front of me - beem me up scotty!!! ****, I want to be 90 degress to my right!