a brief ish update.

[A Yerbury]

a brief photo update of mods, how tos, bits and bobs even? 1 carved up mirror (inspired by jmo)it works and is discreet, oh and its on that side for the continent. Motrax anod indys, much nicer than plastic or -brrrr- carbon "look", not silly small a la teenyweeny cators and they flick at the correct speed. cheaper than the rather dull billet ones, these were 18 I think? poncy lh case badge from the nice man at nichols usa (about 20 quid) and a couple of decals for the carb sides, a bit different and mucho patriotic. so thats about it apart from tank fix/respray and an old skool set of logos. THAT IS IT FOR THIS YEAR.
Alex.
PS. tax disc courtesy of photoshop racing, just to get me to portsmouth..

[stef]

Nice... I like.

[Richard_S]

lookin good mate, just need to keep it lookin that tidy. I dedicated a huge amount of pannier space before setting off for my lotions and potions and 10k miles later she’s tip top. popped into daytona to get some minor electrics sorted and they couldn’t believe how well looked she had been. The numpteys at work just keeping telling me to get a women to spend my lunch hour playing with her instead but hey what do they know!

[A Yerbury]

the numpteys, its all about the toys tho RS!
cheers stef.

[Richard_S]

Our lives can become cluttered by many things. Some are obvious, such as material things, the stuff we collect. I really wish I were able to give a lesson on how to prioritize the material things-how to sort them, dispose of some, and put the rest in order-but I'm not qualified... But how well I know that we can surround ourselves with the material things to the extent that we have no time for the spiritual. Look around and you will see all the gadgets and toys and the nice and the fun things that cause us to squander and pay and to wander and play.
Perhaps Solomon was, in fact, somewhat like a highly precocious child who looks at his toys and suddenly sees them for what they are – bits of wood, metal and plastic, mere playthings. As a result, he saw that all the success he had toiled and striven to attain in this transient existence was ultimately futile, because, like all men, he would die and leave it behind.

you have the right idea alex, I just need a pack of matches and some balls :rolleyes:

[A Yerbury]

we are not what we own.

[Richard_S]

"did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and equal parts frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm?

[A Yerbury]

thanks I had misplaced the formula, I have had to rely on the nitrate and diesel staple.

[Richard_S]

i found that method produced more of a "pooof" than a "pow".

As we all know pow wow wow water is the nuts and I would happily take the daz doorstep challenge to prove the point. the gauntlet has been laid....

braved the high street today ready for crimbo. got a 7 day wonder and a full body search courtesy of section 44 of the terrorism act on route but I did get some coco butter and a thesaurus amongst radio controlled helicopters, m&s hampers and a very tidy jumpsuit suitable for scrotes aged 9-12 months. felt incredibly smug when they snooped around the boot - no leopard or rocket propelled grenade launchers. Lady luck come find me for a sloppy one... :cool:

[A Yerbury]

is that one of those jumpsuits that attaches the wee vermin to door frames for bouncing child fun?

[Richard_S]

the very same but its the copter thats lit my pants. ive been trying to prise it open discreetly for the past 20 minutes. gotta have a go!

[A Yerbury]

I need one of those hats with the proppelor on the top.

[Richard_S]

there is another way my friend and i have the alternative...

[A Yerbury]

ah yes "fathers for cheap ferry crossings" although I'm more of a green goblin.

[Richard_S]

if only it were that poetic. that is a friend of mine "doing it" for his own gratification.

he is a fantastic chap and the only guy I know who has taken a **** on his brand new company smoker in the staff car park. I know because the trucky noted it on the delivery sheet. if thats what happens when you get to 40+ I may stick around....

[A Yerbury]

In that case more whatever to his elbow, he is throwing some rather splendid moves there, good use of fingers, 6 years till 40. think of me as your crash test dummy for middle age.

[Vman]

:cool: Real good

[Richard_S]

ive been 40 for years already.

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock. you'll be fine.

[DesmoDog]

Like the indies Alex, I have the tinkywinkies or whatever they're called. Fiddly to fit and not a complementary size for the monny. I like the flag decals, spiffy. What is a company smoker?

[A Yerbury]

cheers, the wee flag things were about 4 quid from ebay, I liked the idea of eeny weeny porcinni cators but when I saw them on the bike jen chopped the scales looked out perspective wise. the flush ones just stick on, I copied EUG who copied an american.

[berto]

:( Is that a girl's bike or a nashville queerhawks hog....phhnaar phhhnaaar!!!!!

[A Yerbury]

600, so yeah its a girls bike, as opposed to the s4 which as we all know is the sad sacks penile substitute!

[Richard_S]

Cause he knows it’s all worthwhile
He told me:
Let the children lose it
Let the children use it
Let all the children boogie

just got a bit more growly with her nx. doors.

a little bit cheeky a little bit chirpy. cool yet handsome.

[A Yerbury]

"her next doors" steady on this is all getting a bit sid james.

[Richard_S]

you !!!!in love it :eek:

the quest for the fair maiden conducted by a simpleton in a small house lit entirely by red light bulbs, bowie bouncing out, Cadbury miniatures, furry mammoth slippers with tusks and all, a cheeky zimbo swaggering away and a knowing smile.

its like eldorado with a more bachelor type swing vibe.

[A Yerbury]

or crossroads for that borderline 70 s porn flick chic? john the boatman knows the cad from el dorado, bit of an old rocker bill by all accounts.

[Richard_S]

it its purest form."nice"

wondered what ur up 2 sat? all being well my man in a bungalow will have tina tip top and ozzzing to adore my rather pathetic xmas tree. i know its like not at all on the way darling, like at all darling etx (think ab fab with a bigger blades)...but im feelin an afternoon at the fountain of doom. a cheeky timmys, some popular debate and a bit of ny opportunity grabbing win win win type affair. I'll bring the cocktail sauages and shirley basseys grand daughter and you can simply supply the guided walks...

[A Yerbury]

t'would be splendid, I shall warn the locals, get the whicker man fired up, slaughter a few rare breeds and purchase some splendid malts, then armed with a disc lock and some baling twine we could take the idiot labrador up the hills and hunt the beast of the beacons...

[Richard_S]

i'll bring my sasquatch shaped binoculars and a couple of oriental scouts.

a bit like papillion except with the added correction of steve having had a longer spell "coming down^ off the razor.

I do expect to be involved with any raffle program activities with prizes involving repatriation to babylon however

[A Yerbury]

bring a polaroid of yoda, we shall need his guidance as the shadows grow longer, and steal a few key fobs from porsche, that should work the local tartlets into a west midlands style frothy lather. oh and anything "night vision" is always good for a few laughs. should the scenario turn a bit hunter becomes the hunted some small vials of aftershave should throw the beast of its nefarious trail. we'll call it plan B 52.

[Richard_S]

one will try on all counts, but one decision made today is that whatever this week brings in terms of news on the P1 front I will be throwing them the note on the 27th. that place has broken my spirit and it cannot continue. the bucket and spade will be dusted off along with my kangeroo loafers for a night of wiggles.

[Richard_S]

as a footnote it would be more likely that my lovely latino philly came over now, declared undying love and invited me to have babies this second than to get the recreational use of a poofs car. those privilages are being revoked out of my ass.

[Richard_S]

i do however know who Bernard Aubrey is and that could be the clincher. A story for a wire and a casual stroll along the Japanese cliff face. just as well i know a man who appreciates the finer qualities of uppity kestrels. be good.

[A Yerbury]

Bernard Aubrey? absolute class! I've seen the future and its Withnail shaped.
Yours with bar mitzva footwear,
Al - jazz - era.

[berto]

;) You must hav been with some wide hipped girls....can they take the whole s4???? :o

[Richard_S]

I draw the line at anything with a circumference greater than the size of a rugby ball period.

Secured the use of 4 wheels, and although not flash its cheap and French which should set your expectations for the voyage to new beginnings. spoke to dave the magician and she will be ready so all hands to the pump. Albeit I am barred from using the fleet as weekend poontang pullers full stop but thinking about it I would have trouble fitting my curiosities into a 2 seater anyhow. small mercies i guess.

[A Yerbury]

we will cut a dash and cook up a strorm...with Sabatier and Le Creuset!

[Richard_S]

a little bit tame for taking straight from the bone but im always prepared to try new things. can we go all dear hunter like, just minus the pretend roulette?

[A Yerbury]

should be do able, much more baccarat with automatics.

[Richard_S]

id take roland rat to the cleaners before I got anything automatic. its all about the repetitive cocking motion. keeps u on your toes and adds a degree of danger to an otherwise placid pastime. the popularity of the uzi and alike is based on ease at which every hood can use one even when they are unable to talk coherently, stand upright or milk bessy out in the yerd. no class.

[A Yerbury]

There is room for both, granted there is nowt quite as a iconic as a snub/44/python et al but lugers are way cool. Still, when I finally depart I will try to use a flintlock, romantic fool to the very end!

[Richard_S]

my dads got a luger handed down by a forefather along with a solid silver nazi eagle statue that once graced himlers desk. been on the antiques roadshow and all. bastard wont let me play with the gun though, apparently im not yet sensible enough :(

[DesmoDog]

Lovely, I had a long nosed luger carbine including the wooden holster - A true evokation of the Germans ability to over engineer if ever. The old get that gave it me put it in a vice in front of me and deformed the barrel before giving it to me. Criminal.

[A Yerbury]

well you're not. Its a shame that nazi clobber has such style no? my ethics (there are a few) say whoaa there neddy but the inner ponce, he say oh yes please, Ill have the black hat with the skull and crossbones please. Still I always did feel more of a kinship with the empire as opposed to the rebel scum.
Generalfeklmarschall Von Yerbs

[A Yerbury]

blimey des now that is a war crime.

[DesmoDog]

You're going to love this - I was also promised two Katana's that he had confiscated from some sword fighting squaddies. Seems he realised they may be of some worth. Inspection of the tangs of both showed them to be signed so probably not your average officers issue sword. Sadly one was heavily damaged from the aforementioned swordplay, or so thats the story. anyway, he had them "valued" by a local wag - house clearances a speciality - and lo, the house was burgled not long later. The swords were only part of a huge collection of, shall we say, artifacts from his exploits.

[Richard_S]

i love poking around in the loft of the older generation. the easiest way to excite yourself for under a pound and they can make great tea to boot.
hail to the older people and there collections of treasures.

[A Yerbury]

new stuff is rubbish. all hail the antiqe days and the old folk that populate them.

[spacemonkey]

I had the pleasure of shooting a standard WW2 P08 'Luger' down the gun club many years ago and found it fits in the hand a treat. It is one of those guns that points and shoots naturally, and is a delight to use. I have never shot it's replacement the P38, but it's ugly, so that's ok with me. Trouble is they're too complex really for combat usage. That's why the P38 came along...

Alex, the flintlock is not ideal for a suicie job, as the flash from the pan would probably burn and startle you thus causing you to flinch during the delay before the main charge goes off and miss, or just cause immense pain. Another note- in the movies you usually see peeps blowing the head open by holding the gun to the side of their head. In reality, the user would merely scalp themselves or just damage the top part of the skull. What you really should do is put it in your mouth or right up deep under the chin and aim straight for the centre where the brain stem joins up. This will ensure the desired result you are aiming for. As a side note, the gases from the discharge cause the face to blow apart and the recoil smashes and seperates the facial bones. The bullet though, will probably not leave the skull, which suprises most people, if fired point blank or internally as described. From a few metres range it might. This is why Mossad use a .22/.32 pistol fired point blank to the base of the skull. The two bullets bounce around inside and only leave tiny entry holes. And a minced brain. This is a favourite hit tecnique amongst many government 'agencies' as it rarely draws any attention from anyone in the local. The Russians favour the 7.65 cartridge (very close to a .32) and by supreme coincidence Jill Dando was taken out by two 7.65 shots to the base of the skull. MI6 was another lover of the 7.65 in PPK a la James Bond. The mush who was fitted up for her murder was said to have used a 9mm, but the only linking evidence was a residue in his pocket. Hmm....

Oh, nearly forgot the swords...

The officers if from a well to do family could use a family blade as long as it was mounted in military mounts-scabbard, tsuba and handle. This was probably what your friend had. The Arsenal produced blades for the officers was built like the traditional methods but using machinery instead, and should not be confused with the NCO's jobbies with the ally handles and stamped steel blades. These aren't really much better than the cheapo reps you get today. The officers are like the expensive folded steel reps you can buy that cost £600-1000. The signed family blades are made by hand and would vary in quality but would cost £2000+ to make today. Any officer's sword could easily lop off a head and the hand made family blades could probably be used to shave with! Those bamboo mats rolled around green bamboo rods that they use for cutting exercises perfectly simulates a human neck.

Sorry for the lectures, but an interest of mine, as if you couldn't guess...

[A Yerbury]

oi you calling me a flincher!? being an awkard sod I'd perhaps plumb for a shot through the heart, tricky but Ive got a big one, the symbolism -whilst blatant- makes me smile a tear. the classic bothched job is high powered rifle/shotgun suicide under the chin, the recoil removes the face but faces as you know arent really essential for "being alive" so the poor sods end up appearing on oprah blaming it all on heavy metal. the fools. I would blame thatcher but in this case thats clutching at straws somewhat. What is the best chemical for a send? of something dreamily soporific thats difficult to pump away leaving cabbage? -or is that a trade secret!
Attention 11 year old monster owners! do not kill your selves! we are just being a bit morbid. thank you.
AY.

[spacemonkey]

Right-you asked for it..

The best way to 'remove' someone is to inject them under the toenail (believe me, nobody looks there...) or better still, up the ass (definitely, nodody looks there!!) with a potassium chloride solution. Obviously knock them out first and give the jab slow like to avoid swelling. Anyway, it will cause heart failure pronto. It is not detected in the blood test (if one is taken. Most suspicious deaths will have a toxicology test, but if they already have a dodgy ticker it would be an open and shut case and no test...) as when you die and your blood breaks down it naturally release potassium chloride into the blood system, so there is a natural abundance. For doing yourself in? I dunno. As you know paracetemol can knacker your liver if you survive, so not advisable for those attention seeking moments. I'm sure a mega OD of recreational chemicals should do the trick. Don't do the wrist thing either as this takes forever.

Alex, I'm dissapointed with you. Surely seppaku would be the order of the day? I can be the honoured head lopper if you want?

[A Yerbury]

informative as always! Ill keep you posted as regard "the chop" as long as my mate simon gets the cranium, he bagsied it years ago. ah well... medical researchs loss one tattoo parlours gain n all that.

[berto]

:mad: I love death me...I cant wait to embrace its cold cuddle for ever...no more having to suffer tits(figuratively speaking)and I dont care how but not too quickly as I want to savour going oot!!!

[A Yerbury]

how does being buried alive sound bertie? that would be fun.

[DesmoDog]

I dunno about that, it seemed to have a profound effect on David Blaine.

[A Yerbury]

I dont think bertie "does" profound, profane yes....regularly. curses! the largesse scotsman will take that as a compliment!

[berto]

:( Nah Nah you are missing the point not buried that would be too long...cremated alive yes or the ecstasy of a plane crash or jumping from a burning building 50+ floors up and seeing the floor coming to meet you now that I like!!!I have had a ****e couple of years and look forward to those two last hrmmm hrmmm breaths goodnight!!! :mad:

[A Yerbury]

there there, bless!

[berto]

:twisted: Sympathy not required as I firmly believe you get what you deserve so hell pump it in to me.....eh? :twisted:

[A Yerbury]

so sarcasm is fine then?

[Richard_S]

apparently the best years do come and find you but failing that we could have a UKMOC mass suicide pact. a little less glamerous than the waco thing but paperhats provided. maybe a ride out over the white cliffs? the good old days of quadrophenia ; purple hearts and a grit ur teeth kind of determination. I myself would like to take a rain check for the time being as I have managed to secure a date for friday and tuesday. the muffin returns :cool:

[berto]

:o Totally and I will expect you to **** on my ashes or I will be sooo disappointed and you don't want to disappoint me....right!!! :mad:
p.s good thread A!!!

[Richard_S]

sorry mate givin up watersports for the new year :(

taking up opium instead. its going to be the next harry potter apparently

[A Yerbury]

its about time opium made a bloody comeback, we tried making some once and ended up with black tar that put one to sleep for about 24 hours, no dreams what so ever, most disapointing. ah well next time.

[Richard_S]

i once made the mistake of munching some shrooms before a night of passion. she did too but it didnt half make it difficult. perhaps, as you say, we should go on a trip to sunny afghanistan. i hear its lovely at this time of the year and best get it done before GI Bush sprays the lot of it and totally ruins the only export they got. burn it, blow it up, destroy the crop and smoke a phat one. thinking about it i have a large supply of JS "Lifetime" bags under the sink...

[berto]

:eek: Is that peter Sutcliffe at his parole hearing?????? I fancy that compressed air capsule from James Bond ...you know big fat bro whisper in Live and let die!!!!

[A Yerbury]

Afghan women are possibly the most stunning creatures on earth - once you get round the head gear, a good beard growing opportunity to boot.

[A Yerbury]

I fancy thats mr sutcliffe with one of his many bethrothed, women eh?!

[berto]

:p She be totally sweet...take it baby take it boing!!!! :bunny:

[Richard_S]

don juan de berto. nice touch.

[A Yerbury]

...boing?!

[Richard_S]

its like a bang but requiring more lubrication or so our in house duster reckons.
wouldnt fancy either though with her at the helm, crust, itchy legs and a strange rash on the knuckles. ew.

[DesmoDog]

But Berto, you know that the Afghans are behind all the woes that are put upon Amerika. Funny how they never really got involved in a land war in, say Columbia, "black ops" don't count. I don't think you have to worry abou tthem spraying the opium poppies, I'm sure i read somewhere recently that El Presidente has given permission to a bunch of eye popped, god fearing, generals to use a (ahem) clean nuke to take out the cave complexes of the Khush - Given their useal track record with heavy ordance (Chinese Embassy around the time of the Tiawan problems anyone) it wouldn't suprise me if they missed and hid the Golden Triangle. Oh Conspiracy!

And speaking of that in a roundabout way - .22 perfect, well unless you're the would-be assassin of "mad" Fankie Frazer, apparently he missed and the bullet followed the curve of the skull without doing any real damage, not noticable anyway. Space, have you seen the converted flare keyrings? 2 x .22 short slugs fitted into a little black box that looks like a car alarm remote? I predict a rise in .22 related brain mincing escapades around the Toxteth area soon.

[DesmoDog]

Now back to the bike a mo - Yerbs, have you put any sort of crap catcher under your tail? I've removed my hugger, well it removed itself but thats another story, and I'm quite taken with the bare back wheel. Only problem is the amount of ****e being thrown under the seat and into the rear of the engine.

And another thing, did you remove the block when you painted it with the HT black and did you use a spray gun or a can - enquiring minds need to know.

[A Yerbury]

the case covers came off initially but due to technical failure one side was done on (right-no oild drain needed if you get the angle right) the fins and hot bits were slap on vht, you dont need the lump out as a medium brush gets into all the nooks and crannies, maybe not 100% but the human eye from above would not see it all anyway. all else spray on as were the valve covers and cam cover, belt cover, frame, hanger, loop all spray but the swingarm was painted with a slap on anti rust black then had some adhesive carbon on the top. I like the bare wheels too which is why im not terribly keen on shotgun or high level cans (its all about the gaps ya see) I have this strange thing from road racing (ebay -30 squid) which stops everything at the back, well made and just sits over the axle nuts although the paint finish was a rather lacklustre grey so that went black too. It stays relatively clean back there in fact Im tempted to say the the RR thing does a better job than the tail mudguard ducati mess as it sits so close to the tyre pretty low down. I may get a carbon rear hug at some stage and carve it down to a slim strip, but no great rush there. you can see it better here.

[Richard_S]

is that really snow or you havin a t montana kind of a moment?

[A Yerbury]

thats the real deal, speaking of Tony.. shame you're not about on friday as my stepfather is over from Bogota, Colombia. This is not actually a charlie reference but he's quite a "laugh" and buys many rounds, he may be about sat but he is a bit of a mystery man (or a useless C**T according to the old dear) so yeah, its snow in the hills basically,

[Richard_S]

just nail him down for me, should be fairly easy after 12 pints of the strong stuff. Interesting chaps are few and far between so be worth keeping hold of him if poss. tomorrow I am mostly having a champagne bath with my new blonde toy and I am a teeny weeny bit excited so I will certainly have to say sat. if the snow can wait I'll bring my skadoo

[A Yerbury]

here's to genuine blondes then -chink- try not to slip in the bath..

[Richard_S]

its cool ive got a set of those inflatable aphrodisiac armbands so no need to worry.

as for the natural, yet to be confirmed although im hoping for the completely clean cut look.

I'll report back once all facts have been established if I don't pass away from the xtasy :cool:

[DesmoDog]

Oh the agony and the xtc - anyway, I saw thsoe RR bumpers but didn't like them, looks a lot better on though. Nice touch with the leaves around the wheels. Columbian stepfather eh? You do lead an interesting life - Don't make any jokes about ties.

[DesmoDog]

And what sort of camera/jiggery pokery are you employing?

[A Yerbury]

a few photoshop layers one b w to make the background less of a disraction and chopped the railings off behind, Ill see if I can find a suitable vista, heres a more hum drum shot of the rr bit

[spacemonkey]

And speaking of that in a roundabout way - .22 perfect, well unless you're the would-be assassin of "mad" Fankie Frazer, apparently he missed and the bullet followed the curve of the skull without doing any real damage, not noticable anyway.


You wouldn't really notice though, would you?

2 x .22 short slugs fitted into a little black box that looks like a car alarm remote? I predict a rise in .22 related brain mincing escapades around the Toxteth area soon.

Sounds very interesting...tell me more???

[berto]

:lol: Surely someone with your photoshop mastery could get rid of those huuuuuuuuge fanny strips!!!!!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. stop it berto the bag is gonna go!!!!!!Oh and boing is when it pops oot at a funny angle...Like the austalian cowboys who play jam willy slap ...you know put jam oan yer belly and slap the flies that land on it with yer boaby.....I'll get me coat.... :mad:

[A Yerbury]

not the old -yawn- "chicken strips" gag making its familiar airing.....you must try a bit harder dear boy.

[berto]

;) No no my homo chum they are sooooo much worse than mere foul strips....On second thoughts maybe you should have painted them toooo meow!!!!

[A Yerbury]

are you sure its not your impressive body mass bottoming out the tyres?! still, point taken, next time pootling down to halfords or the post office Ill try to get the knees down a bit more. :rolleyes:

[Richard_S]

you need to remember that the little chap is from the highlands. out their the roads are made of the bones of fallen clansmen and unlucky baby geese. back in civilisation one dearnt put the knee down in case you twat someone on the head (short people everywhere) or worse still have it stolen to aid the rebuilding of a fallen robotic angel.

[berto]

:rolleyes: Ahhh suddenly it becomes clear...Is that why my Dainese's have belly scrapers??You two dopes really have to visit and I will take you on some top roads(Sorry A,NO SHOP WINDOWS TO LOOK AT YOURSELF!!) :burnout:

[A Yerbury]

Tempting, I have seen your woman folk, and they do not look happy. No shop windows? say it aint so!?

[DesmoDog]

Have they all been broken?

[A Yerbury]

I think so, bertie checking his reflection..

[berto]

;) You poor misunderstood southern queerhawk....what is with this months LA homo look? :bunny:

[A Yerbury]

"macho straight talkin chunky scotsman" is no doubt this seasons flavour, how they found a closet large enough I'll never know with yer one track homosexuality themed mind!? mind you scotland is perhaps a bit un enlightened and backwards which accounts for your frustrated ranting, is there a kindly aunt or unmarried family bachelor friend you could open up to? perhaps a move to san fransisco would cheer you up? failing that use amazon.com for all your judy garland dvd needs, no one need ever know!
AY.e

[celt]

fargin hell that was a long thread lads. well done

[berto]

:lol: I love you x